Just wondering how many of you have constructive daily play times with your toddlers? Do you just let them play on their own throughout the day with their toys or do you get down on the floor and interact with them?

If you do, what types of games do you play? Do you have special toys for only special times? Or is everything a free for all?

We do a bit of both here, however, lately I have let Matt play a lot more on his own as I'm tired a lot these days, busy with the house and nursing. I'm feeling a bit guilty so with Christmas coming I want to buy some new toys that have specific learning objectives. Like puzzles and other things that are more developmental in nature, not to mention some things that are more fun, like finger painting and play dough.

So how do you spend your days with your toddlers, how much is play time and how much is let them run around and play on their own?

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, December 1, 2005 - 12:53 pm:

Kaitlyn gets a lot of free time by herself, especially while i'm cleaning. I'll occasionally get down and play Lego's with her but for the most part the interaction comes with singing the "Clean Up" song when it's time to put toys away. I also try to do crafty stuff with her. Sometimes it's just coloring or drawing, other times we make things with construction paper, glue and stickers or we work on her colors while we're doing crafts. I think her favorite time is when we read books together. She never turns that down. She goes to daycare twice a week and has 3 little girls that she always plays with at home so I don't feel like I need to play with her constantly. Playing solo can be just as healthy as playing with friends. It helps with their individuality, self esteem and independence.

By Heaventree on Thursday, December 1, 2005 - 02:18 pm:

Melissa,

I agree playing solo is a great thing, it's just that Matthew is so independant and able to play on his own, I'm a bit concerned about his ability to play constructively. I find he spends a lot time just throwing his toys around.

It's easy for me to just leave him on his own, but I sense that he is becoming a bit jealous of Cameron. Nursing is so time consuming.

I found a local highschool that has a program three mornings a week. It's a playschool for highschool students that want to go into ECE. You can drop your toddlers off for only $5 a day. I'm just waiting for a call back. Matthew doesn't have any friends to play with during the week as they are all in daycare.

By Amecmom on Thursday, December 1, 2005 - 04:38 pm:

I used a lot of tactile play objects - blocks, shape puzzles, play food stringing beads etc. Throughout the day we would sit for a few minutes and do an activity. Never for too long as too much time at one task will get them frustrated at this age.
With blocks we would sort by shape, color, size etc. We would do alphabet puzzles or other matching puzzles (put the right animal in the right home, for example). With play food, we would also sort by various attributes and pretend to cook.
There is so much of your day that you probably spend in constructive time with him and you are unaware of it.
Good luck and have fun. This is the best time and it goes too fast.
Ame

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, December 1, 2005 - 07:24 pm:

My kids both liked playing by themselves! They would keep themselves busy for long periods of time. When Sarah was 4, I know I spent a lot of time on the couch coloring with her, or drawing shapes and stuff. DH always thought I should be doing something more constructive around the house, but that 4yo is now 16 and I don't regret it one bit.

So, I think my kids had some time that they played with me and some time by themselves.

Sarah was 2-1/2 when Emily was born. I sometimes nursed Emily laying down and then I could also read to Sarah at the same time.

By Reds9298 on Friday, December 2, 2005 - 08:02 am:

Natalie (17mths) is very independent and generally occupy herself for long periods of time, but then I make a point to sit down with her. I just try to balance it. If I have something I need to get done, I try to involve her and if I can't then I just do my chore, then do something with her, back and forth like that.

We sit down a lot during the day together and do things together. Sometimes we sit and watch a program together, doing the songs and motions or talking about what's going on (for example, the Wiggles). For the most part, here are things we do though: shape sorting (she's really into that right now), puzzles (she watches me put them in and interacts with the pieces), snap beads, pretend with anything, music and dancing, instruments (we're collecting them, great ones from kindermusik.com), rhymes and fingerplays,scribbling on large newsprint, today she explored painter's tape while I repaired some trim around the door, hmmmmm...physical activities (we're working on jumping), just "quizzes" (body parts, finding an object that I name,animals and their sounds, etc.), BOOKS, it's soooo cold here so we are playing a little bit in the garage, stacking blocks, we tried playdough but it grossed her out, we talk A LOT!,I also give her a lot of directions during the day and when we're playing, even when they're not necessary, we make things out of junk (working on 'bowling' with empty water bottles, cardboard boxes of course), and just hide and seek where we hide and chase each other. She also has a 'paper' box with junk mail, scrapbooking scraps I won't use, old greeting cards,and junk photos. She loves that and sometimes just gets to sorting and piling things in a certain way. She also wants me to 'read' some of them to her.

I'm rambling, but hope this helps. I'm an early childhood educator and also a developmental therapist for 0-3's, so in the last couple of years I've really gotten more educated about the 0-3 range. It has helped a lot with my dd. I've always thought that staying home with her is my first priority and sometimes other things take a backseat. For me, I'm not home to clean house. My house is clean, I keep everything up don't get me wrong and that is important to me, but *she* is my first job so I try to remember that when I feel like I have a lot to do.
I agree with Ame, you're probably doing so much more than you even realize!

By Cat on Friday, December 2, 2005 - 08:20 am:

Children learn through play. Being able to play by themselves, imho is a great thing. As a family child care provider affiliated with the military we take classes on scheduling our days. We're required to have some time that's blocked out as "child led activities" and some time as "provider led activities" every day. Things like arts and crafts, music time, meals/snacks, etc are provider led. That doesn't limit their creativity at these times, though. You can do an adult led activity that's open ended. Such as bringing out art/craft supplies with no agenda as to what the child is supposed to make. For example; if I bring out some cotton balls, glue and construction paper and tell the kids "We're making snowmen and this is how you do it and this is what yours is supposed to look like when you're done", that's totally adult led with an agenda. There's no creativity (or very little) involved and the kids probably won't enjoy it much. However, if I bring out the same supplies and say "We're going to create art" and let them have at it, we may end up with snowmen, winter scenes, sky pictures and clouds, or a number of other things. It's still considered provider led. I imagine you're doing a lot of things with Matt and you don't even realize it. Coloring, cooking, playing with him with puzzles, blocks, cars, trains, etc. It's all good. If you can get him in the playschool, I'm sure it'd be great for him. It sounds to me, though, that you're already doing a great job with him. Sometimes we over think parenting. Hugs!

By Pamt on Friday, December 2, 2005 - 08:28 am:

Since I am a professional "play-er" (in that I play with kids all day
and teach parents how to play with them) I am thrilled that you are
considering this most important aspect of your child's development.
First of all there are 2 general categories of play:

*perceptual play---blocks, legos, puzzles, shape-sorters, stringing beads, etc.
*symbolic play---pretend play

Both types are equally important, but perceptual play is often good
for those times when you need your child to entertain himself. It
looks like Matthew isn't quite 2 yet, right? At his age his play
should revolve around familiar routines which would include things
like caring for baby, cooking, mealtimes, bathing, etc. At about this
age for both of my boys their favorite toy every was a kitchen with
velcro food that they could chop. They "cooked" along with me (their
kitchen was in my kitchen) every night and so that way we could play
together while I was really preparing dinner and I stop along the way
to taste their soup or turn on their oven. My boys never did take
to the dolls I bought, but they loved feeding stuffed animals, giving
them pretend baths, putting them to bed, etc. Play around these type
of routine activities (or "scripts") will really enhance your son's
cognitive abilities and language skills. Play should be fun and not
task-oriented. Play doesn't have to be "academic" (about colors,
shapes, and letters) do be VERY powerful and constructive. Really the
ability to pretend, i.e., hold a concept or picture in your head of
something that isn't *actually* happening or doesn't really exist, is
a huge cognitive task, so please don't underestimate the value of
simple pretend play. It is truly the work of kids.

I think if you try to purposely set aside 15-30 minutes of "all my
attention is on you" playtime once or twice per day with your son that
you are doing awesome! Let him have some control over the play, but
encourage him to vary between artistic pursuits like fingerpainting to
gross motor activities like running around on the playground, to
perceptual play like shape sorters to pretend play like with a
Fisher-Price farm set. Also, don't forget that when he helps you cook,
clean, run errands (esp. to the grocery store---it's a learning
wonderland!), take care of the baby, etc, that it is "play" to him and
quality time spent with you. HTH!

By Kaye on Friday, December 2, 2005 - 08:30 am:

I did hear from a friend once that her pdoc said she should spent at least an hour a day one on one with each kid (this was while she was pg with number 3). I recall thinking at that time am I missing something? I think that I did at that age make it a point daily to do something with my little ones (just not individually), with my dd when ds was napping we would do little workbooks, sometimes coloring ones, sometimes abc ones, whatever she picked out from the store and we would do two pages. When my third was born I tried to play a game a day, sometimes it was just me wathcing whatever show they wanted and talked about it. I do think it is important to intereact with your child during the day, but I don't think it is do this and that very structured. I think you should read a minimum of 5 books a day, we kept these rotating (at one time i had 12 dishtubs and they were labeled by month and we switched on the 1st). I also tried to have my little ones in the kitchen with me a couple of days a week.

By Heaventree on Friday, December 2, 2005 - 01:26 pm:

Thanks for all the responses and ideas. You guys made me feel better, you're right I am doing a lot more that I thought I was.

Matt helped me bake cookies the other day for my cookie swap, he had a great time!

He does learn a lot just from being around me and watching what I do all day. When my mom was here she did a lot of baking and when she made icing she would always let Matt lickthe beaters. Every once in awhile I walk into the kitchen and he has pulled the beaters out of the drawer and is licking them. Too cute!

I also notice he is playing with his baby doll a lot more these days. He likes to name body parts on the doll, give hugs and kisses and rock the doll.

I guess I shouldn't expect to set-up a daycare environment at home as I have more than just on responsibility during the day. Sure my kids are my priority, but I have a house and family to consider as well, I think it's part of staying at home.

I think I was just worried that Matt was feeling left out because I spend so much time breastfeeding Cameron. Matthew won't want to have anything to do with me when Cameron is sleeping. He'll be busy playing on his own, as soon as I pick up Cameron, he's bringing a toy or activity over to me insisting that I play. When I say I can't and I see the look of dissappointment on his face it breaks my heart. I always make a point of getting down to play with him after I'm done nursing, but it doesn't take away that intial hurt.

Oh the joys of Motherhood!

Thanks again.