A neighbor kid...GGGRRRRRRR!!
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005:
A neighbor kid...GGGRRRRRRR!!
Connor and I enjoy going to a local playground with another toddler and her mother almost every day. Well, there were other kids there because they had a day off of school. So, they had pretend guns and were playing cowboys, etc. (They ranged in age from 6 to 12).
This kid (who looked to be around 7) came up and pointed the gun towards Connor (about 2 feet away) and before I knew it he shot a plastic pellet towards his face!!!!!  GRRRRRRR! I thought they were toy guns, not dangerous pellet guns! Thank God he missed because it could have seriously hurt his eye.
So, I told him that he needed to put the gun down, apologize to Connor and I explained how he could have hurt him. He put it down and about 2 minutes later he said, "You know, I can shoot that gun again and shoot anything."
(Steam is coming out my nose by now...especially since I noticed there are NO parents around and I realize I'm going to have to parent this child.)
So, I take the gun and tell him that he needs to go home and get his mom/dad and then, and only then, will I give it back and even then...to an adult.
Long story short, he says, "You don't know where I live" and takes off (I'm still watching Connor go down the slide, etc). He doesn't come back. Another kid explains that it's HIS gun and he wants it back. I explain that his dad/mom is going to have to come out here to get it.
He got his dad and the boy got in trouble.
I find out later where the original kid lived and approached the parents last night at 8pm. (It took me that long to figure out where he lived.)
I explained everything in a VERY nice manner and the first thing the mother said was, "Oh, and you're just now telling me this?"
Uuuummm....if you had been watching your child, you would have KNOWN that it had happened in the first place!
GRRRRRR!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR is right! I think you handled the situation better than I would have because I have NO tact and no patience when I get angry. What a joke! People are too much. Why does it seem like we have to remind people to parent their children??? It doesn't seem like this is on the to-do list anymore. I'm glad Connor wasn't hurt!
I'd be upset, too! My kids are 7 & 9 and I still don't allow them to go to the park without an adult. NO guns either, and especially not ones with pellets! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR is right!
And of course there is the dad who bought his son a pellet gun and didn't watch when and where he took it. Bet dad would be outraged if someone who was injured by it sued him.
I don't know why pellet guns are even sold as toys, if they are. It is so stupid.
I think you did the right thing, Heidi, and I think it took a lot of courage to first take the gun from the kid, then report to the father whose son owned the gun, and finally, to seek out and confront the parents of the boy who shot it at Connor. I applaud you. And, sadly, I have to suggest that you find a different park for you and Connor to go to for a while, as I would be angry but not surprised if that boy hassles you and Connor if he sees you again.
What a stupid, stupid mess - all because one parent buys an unsuitable "toy" and doesn't carefully monitor the use of something that is potentially dangerous, and another parent cares so little about how her son behaves that she blames the messenger.
The kid was mean and nasty and you know where he got it from... His parents...
Sorry for your bad experience. What a horror show.
Why people give their children weapons to play with, i will never figure out. I'm so glad that Connor was not hurt.
You did the right thing Heidi! I'm proud of you, i wouldn't have had the guts to do that. I would have just taken my kids and left...i'm a chicken LOL.
The kid does sound like a little terror and yes, you know where he got that from.
KUDOS to you Heidi!!!!!!!!! You handled this VERY well!
Is it any wonder some kids turn out they way the do, with the (lack of) parenting they receive?!?
I didn't let Jeff play with toy guns when he was very young, and when he was a bit older and ended up in a situation where they were involved, he was taught you NEVER, EVER point one at a person, even if it is a TOY gun. And he NEVER played with toy guns that actually shoot anything.
I will get slammed for this, but an old, old, close friend was a gunsmith and years ago, after my divorce, we had the opportunity to go with him for a unique shooting experience. I think all kids, particularly boys at some point, become curious about guns. He did the gunsmithing for a *local* parish's police/SWAT team. We were invited to watch their drill one day, and the people who were invited were given the opportunity for instruction in the proper use and handling of guns and got to shoot them at targets, it was one-on-one, with a deputy, and they shot at the same targets the SWAT team did.
My kids developed a VERY healthy respect for what *real* guns can do. They shot AK47's and other semi-automatic weapons that day, as well as hand guns and rifles. This was done under the strictest supervision.
They were wide-eyed with awe and amazement, and even some fear afterwards. They were 10 and 11 at the time. It was QUITE the lesson learned. It made my heart swell to hear them *preach* to friends about what *really* happens when a real gun is shot, and how dangerous they are. I need to mention also, that when they were in high school, they actually lost a classmate due to a shooting, and another was shot in the head in a hunting accident - two 17 y/o kids out hunting ALONE in a small boat in the swamps, and there was an accident. Fortunately the kid survived and is fine now. But my kids had a lot to say about both incidents, since they were educated.
I know most of you will probably not agree with me letting them do this. But in the south, a large percentage of kids have parents who hunt, and most of them take their kids hunting when they reach a certain age. Now they have to go through a hunting course and get *certified*, which, from experience, teaches them respect for a gun and basic gun safety. Jeff was never really interested in hunting because he doesn't like to kill animals, but he went through the course and learned a lot. The same guy gave hiim a hunting rifle for Christmas that year, and Jeff has never used it.
Bottom line, in this area, kids seem to be *more* curious and infatuated with guns but they have no clue how dangerous they can be. I feel comfortable with my decision to allow my kids to be a part of this once in a lifetime experience. It paid off. They know the proper safety procedures to use when handling a gun, they saw first-hand what a gun can do, and after that, they had no more curiosity or desire to play with guns. And the best part was when their friends talked about guns, they were armed with FACTS and talked to them about what they knew could actually happen.
I know this was long, and if you've read this far, hopefully you won't judge me or feel horrified that I let them do this. For us, it was a great experience, and to this day, when they hear on the news about criminals who have used some of these type guns during a crime, they know exactly what the gun will do and they have formed very strong opinions about letting kids play with guns because of this.
Karen, I think that what you did was great. It taught them what "real" affects guns have and gave them a newfound respect for them. I've always felt that kids will be more curious about the unknown or the forbidden. Give a little knowledge, take away that forbidden factor that makes it so tempting, and do it in a suitable way and I think they are safer and more informed in the long run.
Karen, I'm with you. I never allowed "toy" guns because guns are not toys. But I myself was and am very fond of rifle target shooting, and though I didn't have the opportunity you did, would have had no problem with any of my sons having the same kind of experience. I think your reasoning is quite accurate. TV mostly shows violence that is, actually, rather non-violent, in that they don't show the real results of gun violence or other violence. So people, especially young people, don't have the respect and, yes, fear they should have of using guns to settle quarrels, or allowing their behavior or the behavior of people around them to escalate into violence. After all, the guy on TV is out of the hospital in a day or two, if he is hospitalized at all, the cartoon character almost literally bounces back, so it isn't really something to be afraid of. The kind of experience your kids had is a good educator about just what damage one bullet can do, and I for one have no quarrel with what you did.
I think of myself as an anti-gun person, but by that I mean that the average householder does NOT need a handgun for self-protection, for a least a couple of reasons. The most important reason, of course, is the grave potential for the gun to be used in a quarrel or fit of anger; that it can be stolen by a burglar or even a family member or friend and be used to kill someone; and that unless you take some serious training, the home invader is more likely to take the gun away from you and kill you with his own gun or yours. It is my observation that people who own guns tend to have a sense of semi-invulnerability - they have a gun so they can defend themselves and won't run away, back off, call the police, or take some other protective or avoidance maneuver. If you have had training and keep it up, if you lock up your guns so that others don't have ready access to them - if, in short, you treat them like the tools of killing that they are - then by all means, own all the guns you want with my blessings. But I'm really glad no-one in my family owns any handguns now. One son did, and definitely exhibited that sense of semi-invulnerability until after he got rid of them.
Great job, Heidi! That did take a lot of guts and caring!
Ame
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