This is in today's New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/16/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/16lijour.html

It talks about bullying and meanness, particularly among girls in middle and high schools. It brings back memories - not happy ones.

Anyone who can make this into a clickthrough link, please do.

By Kaye on Sunday, October 16, 2005 - 01:31 pm:

bullies

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, October 16, 2005 - 03:31 pm:

My kids have pretty much avoided all that stuff. Sarah never complained about the kids in middle school. She had her circle of friends and was comfortable with them. They were all nice girls.

Emily has a nice group of friends, too. They really don't complain about being an outcast. I guess I have been lucky.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 08:06 am:

Ginny, DITTO! I moved to the N.O. area from north GA the summer before starting junior high. 7th and 8th grade were the worst years of my life. 9th grade started out the same way, and then one of my bullies moved into the apartment complex where we were living.

We had to walk 6 blocks to our bus stop, and most mornings we ended up walking there *together*. After 9th grade, she stopped bullying me and some of the other kids on the bus - and the reason was this:

There was a girl on the bus who my bully-turned-friend took a liking to - not sure why, she certainly was not *cool*. But this girl sat there all year and watched and heard how my bully treated people, and one day near the end of my sophomore year, she said to her *I'd hate it so much if you didn't like me. You're so mean to other people all the time, I'd be so hurt and embarrassed, I don't know if I could ride the bus with you*. Our bully looked so surprised and shocked.

I think she just did what everyone in her clique did, and it never occurred to her that the people she was ridiculing were humans with feelings. I know all bullies aren't like that, some just never GET IT, and continue to torture other kids just for the sheer pleasure of making them miserable.

I've always had a theory about bullies anyway - that they feel inferior on some level and have to treat others badly to make themselves feel good.

By Marcia on Monday, October 17, 2005 - 09:16 am:

I haven't read the article yet, but
one of my girls has been dealing with some bullying for most of her school years. She's 12. She has some learning differences, and is very quiet at school. She has always talked about the "cool girls", and how they makes faces at her, etc. I have explained many times that they are NOT the cool girls if that's the way they treat people. She and her circle of friends are the coolest kids, because they're very kind and caring, help out, etc. In the big picture of life, that's what's cool, not the way you look, how well you do your school work, etc.

By Breann on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 11:57 pm:

I pray that my kids don't become victims to bullies It is so sad and it would break their heart as well as mine.

I wish there was a way to stop it.

I had great friends in school. We didn't have a huge issue with bullying in school. I do remember a boy my freshman year in highschool that made fun of me in front of the whole class. We had a substitute that day that was also a friend of the family. That made it twice as bad to be embarrased in front of her. I pretended to ignore what he was doing, like it didn't bother me. But, it truely did break my heart. I still think of it everytime I see this guy. What a jerk! I can't imagine having to deal with that on a daily basis. This was a one time thing for me, and it still bothers me.