2 Grandparent-related questions
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005:
2 Grandparent-related questions
1. Do you celebrate/acknowledge Grandparent's Day? (I think it's in early Sept.) We don't because I feel like we acknowledge them at Mother's Day and Father's Day.
2. Whose responsibility is it for your children to see their grandparents? I hope this makes sense, but for those of you who have grandparents who live near you, do you feel like YOU have to be the one to provide opportunities for the child(ren) and g'parents to spend time together?
TIA for your thoughts. 
1. No we do not celebrate or acknowledge grand parents day. I think it is another one of those "hallmark holidays" like sweetest day. We also acknowledge them on mother's and father's days.
2. my in laws live next door and my mom lives the next street over, so we see them both pretty frequently. They are our babysitter's . We see the ones next door outside a lot. And when we take bike rides we usually bike to my mom's house. I think who is responsible for getting the kids together with the grand parents depends on the family. And how close (relationship wise) the people in the family are. I know some people who's parents ALWAYS want to see and be with their grandchildren. They offer to babysit, they take the kids shopping or have them sleep over. Other grandparents wait to be called because the don't want to be a 'bother'.
We don't acknowledge Grandparents Day and frankly I'd prefer to do away with both Mothers and Fathers Days, too! The whole thing seems silly to me and trying to see ALL the mothers and grandmothers, especially when YOU are a mother yourself, is just frustrating. It's hardly a 'nice day' for yourself when you're scurrying to give cards and gifts to your own mother and mother in law and the kids' grandmothers...not that you asked all that.
I think it's the responsibility of both. Both should be inviting each other over and inviting each other to join in activities. This happens on my side of the family, but on my husband's side, if we didn't initiate each time (and if Christmas didn't exist) we'd never see them.
1. We don't "do" Grandparent's Day either. We do that on Mother's Day and Father's Day also.
2. With my own Grandparents we always initiated contact but with my parents it goes both ways. There are times I wish that my parents would call and ask for the boys to come over or to come pick them up but that would be in a perfect world.
We don't do Grandparent's Day here. I think I got my mom a card for her first Grandparent's day but it never went any farther than that. We have to make all the overtures with my in-laws and it got old after a while so we see them at the kid's birthdays and at Christmas. My mom usually makes the overtures but that is because she has such a "busy" life that she already has plans most of the time I ask. We still see a couple of times a month. My mom and stepdad and my FIL and his wife all live in town.
I think Grandparent's day is just a silly made up Hallmark holiday, so no, we don't celebrate.
I think it's 50/50 as to planning get togethers. We are all busy.
No to Grandparents Day except that dd made a card at her class so she gave that to my mom on Grandparents Day this year.
It's just another made up holiday although in some oriental countries it has had a lot of significance. I read a study a few years ago about the death rate decreases significantly the 2 weeks before and then increases significantly right after. I can't remember if it was Japan or China. I had never heard of grandparents day when I read that article.
My fil has never seen my dd unless we have taken her to see him. Mil died before dd was born. She was the center of that family. It kind of fell apart when she passed. And once at Christmas I got so mad I could hardly see straight. The old buzzard was sitting there bragging about all the stuff he'd taken to some of his great grand daughters and didn't have so much as a piece of candy for his granddaughter.
My mom sees dd about once a month. But I always do the running. My mom does ask to see her, but it's me that either goes there to see her or brings her to see dd.
This is the first year that grandparents day slipped by me without Brendan having made them a card. I think the reason I usually do this is because my mom makes sure I have a special Mother's day from Brendan so I like her to have her own day.
As far as the other...
Chuck's mom comes to visit every so often... My dad and mom are here in town and we see them on a regular basis, my mom more so than my dad.
Thanks everyone. I think Grandparent's Day is a "hallmark holiday", too, but wondered what others felt about it. Now I don't feel so bad!
Both of our parents live on the other side of town. Mine see dd frequently, by their initiation, but dh's parents need some kind of a written invitation with bells and whistles. We're tired of constantly trying to make opportunities for them, or worrying that we're not doing enough, when they do very little to intiate time with dd. It's just the way they are I guess.
Thanks again!
My in-laws NEVER make the initiative. And for several years we lived just a few houses away. Now we live about five minutes away,and they see the kids on holidays, and at events they are participating in, basketball games, singing events, etc. They have NEVER had the kids come over just because and the kids have never stayed over night there.
My fil is disabled, doesn't work, and my mil is an RN who only works like 4 nights a week. We used to make the initiative, take the kids there, try to call and invite them here, etc. But it got to be everytime we went there, it was like we were interrupting a race, or a tv show, or something. If we called and invited them here, someone was always sick. And when we did stop, mil would never play with or talk to the kids hardly, she'd want to talk with me.
So we stopped.
We live right next door to my parents now, and the kids are up there almost everyday even if it's just for a few minutes. They are very close to them. Sometimes my parents call for them to come there, sometimes my kids call to go there. And a lot of times, my dad comes down and sees them. There's a big garage of his that is right next to our house, and he piddles in there a lot, and the kids are always down there when he is. And there's times that he comes down to the bus stop to see them off or to watch them come home.
So, at least they have that type of relationship with one set. The other set knows so little about them that she comes to me for specifics on gifts because she just doesn't know what they are into. And my kids are so easy to buy for if you know them. EXP: My dd is nine this year, she has NEVER been into Barbie, and likes all the cool pyscodelic or furry or just really girly decorations for a room. Well, my mil was actually going to get her a Barbie television set for Christmas this year. I explained to her that E would feel like it was too childish. E would never say a thing about it, but this is her new room she's decorating, and I don't want her to be stuck with something that makes her unhappy.
Okay, I've rambled, but obviously, you have struck a chord with me here! LOL!
We never celebrated Grandparents Day.
The only Grandparent my 2 younger kids have is my Dad and he only lives 6 miles from me so we do see him a few times a week. My older DS has my dad and his Dads parents whom he is close to all 3 grandparents and when he is in from college makes it a point to see everyone.
I can honestly say that with all the kids grandparenst when they were alive they all had a close relationship.
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