Brendan is four and a half, since our move to our new city I've gotten him involved in t-ball. Well he HATES it, he cries, won't stay on the field, and doesn't enjoy anything about it EXCEPT cheering on the other boys. lol...

Ex and I are at odds over this, I think he should stick it out a little longer. It's only been one game and four practices (he does improve with each practice but never says he has fun or enjoys it) and I think we should at least stick it out this season. Ex says that we should let him stop and try again when he's older; I want to instill if you start something you finish it, even though you might not always like it. I also don't think he's given it enough of a chance to really see if it's something he might enjoy.

So what do I do? DO I keep making him go to practices and stick it out? Do I let him drop off of the team? HELP!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, September 1, 2005 - 10:18 pm:

What doesn't he like about it? What things does he like?
Is 4.5 years of age too early to force him? I have no idea, really. Maybe keep him involved, but maybe in a different position...maybe he can be a "coaches assistant"?
So sorry he's doing this...I would be a frustrated parent.
Maybe try one more time, trying to alleviate any fears. Or, give him a reward for trying?

By Melanie on Thursday, September 1, 2005 - 11:44 pm:

I would let him quit and try again next year. If he is forced to stick it out now, he may resist further efforts to try something else another time. I am all for having kids follow through with commitments. Be he is just a little boy. Let's face it, t-ball isn't exactly a ton of fun for kids. They stand around in the outfield and wait for something to happen (or collect bugs or do somersaults) and then sit in the dug out waiting for their turn to swing the bat. Can you really blame him for not being into it?? I would let him drop off and try another sport another time.

By Feona on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 07:58 am:

He is four... I would let him quit.

But if you want him to go to a few more sessions, I don't see the harm in it.

By Bemerry84 on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 08:03 am:

When my DS was the same age, he got hit in the mouth the very first game, as a result he had to have 3 of his front teeth pulled. We insisted he finish the season and at times the coach even carried him on the field to get him laughing and wanting to play. He is now almost 8 and will not play baseball at all. This may not be your sons sport. I also have a 14 yr DS and he has played and still plays and is a natural and is very good. He never once wanted to quit. Now I wish we would have let the younger one quit and tried again the next year. Since the baseball fiasco we have tried soccer and swimming which he tolerates but doesn't have his heart into sports like his older brother. I like Mrsheidi's suggestion of coaches asst, wish I would have thought about that 3 yrs ago. He can still be part of the team and maybe by watching the other kids he will spark an interest to play but I wouldn't force him. Good luck on your decision, it's a hard one!!!!

By Beth on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 09:13 am:

Well I made my son stick it out with soccer. He was a little older 5. He stood on the field and cried a couple of games. But my son is very shy. By the 4th game he was fine and enjoyed it. I don't know that he still loves it. He is in his 3rd season. I really would like to get him in an individual sport to build up more confidence but its really exspensive for karate. So for now I keep enrolling him in soccer, and tball in the summer. I don't think it would be determental to him to stick it out a couple of more games. Then after this season if he really does not like it go with his intrest in arts. JMO

By Vicki on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 09:29 am:

I have always done the stick it out thing too. I feel that once you are a part of a team, you need to be there for your team. If it was something my dd decided she didn't like, I never made her do it again, but did make her finish it out and see it through. Now, if it was something individual like dance or gymnastics, I would make her finish out the month that we paid for, but would then let her stop.

By Reeciecup on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 10:27 am:

I think having children involved in stuff is great but at a younger age a lot of it is trial and error. At 4.5 he may not be ready for a team activity and forcing him might close the door when he is older. I don't think a 4 year old can grasp the idea of supporting a team. Cognitively a 4 year old doesn't think that way. I would let him stop playing but maybe go to the games so he can cheer for his friends. If the coach would let him be an assistant that would be wonderful too, if your son wants to do that.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 12:06 pm:

He's only 4-1/2. I think if my kids hated it that much, I would let them stop.

By Kernkate on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 12:30 pm:

IMO I would not push him to play at such a young age. My both boys started soccer and little league when they were between 5 and 6.But they did like it. Alissa started dance last year at age 4 and didn't like it at all so I did not push her. She could have started soccer this year but just wasn't interested.
As they get a little bit older they will grasp the meaning for team sports. I also think if they are pushed with being so young he may never want to play again. Just say "Brendan, lets try 1 or 2 more times and I bet you will like it" If he doesn't don't push it.
JMO

By Colette on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 12:55 pm:

At 4 1/2 I wouldn't make him continue.

By Annie2 on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 07:48 pm:

I agree with all of the above comments of letting him stop. He is too young to understand the concept of being part of a team and sticking it out.

By Annie2 on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 07:50 pm:

Oh and word it positively. Tell him he can stop playing because he doesn't like it right now but can try again when he is older instead of using the words quitting the team. JMO

By Kay on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 08:28 pm:

Despite their begging, we wouldn't let our children do organized sports until they were in kindergarten (at least 5 years old). Attention spans change dramatically between the ages of 4 and 5, and I think 4 is a little early for the discipline involved.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, September 2, 2005 - 08:40 pm:

I agree, let him stop. If you don't, you run the risk of having him develop a hatred of all organized sports. I understand the desire to have him stick it out, but really, was it his idea to start it in the first place? Sounds to me like it was your idea, not his.

I remember when my middle son went into a program for gifted children at about 4th grade - and he really hated it and was miserable. I struggled with the "sticking it out" thinking, but decided to let him quit. A few years later, in 7th grade, he went into an advanced math program and loved it. We've talked about these events over time, and the feedback I have gotten from him is that it really mattered to him that I listened to and recognized his unhappiness and backed him up - it helped him to trust me other times when I told him he had to stick something out.

As for making friendships, try a playgroup, or pre-school, or a program at your local library. Take him some places and to some programs and let him see if he likes them, and let it be his choice.

By Christylee on Saturday, September 3, 2005 - 12:13 am:

Thanks for all the input on this... As to why he doesn't like it I honestly think it's because he doesn't feel like he knows what's going on. Most of the other kids (all but one other) played in the Spring so they know what is going on and he feels a little lost. For that aspect we're going to spend some time at the park with mommy, grandma, aunts, and two cousins playing baseball with him to get him to "understand" the whole concept.

~~was it his idea to start it in the first place? Sounds to me like it was your idea, not his. ~~

in the process of moving to our new area after my splitup Brendan and I decided together it would be something to do, our old area didn't have the teams for the younger kids so we never did it over there. Once we got here we went to a couple of games for friends of ours and Brendan said he wanted to try it. In part it was my idea originally but we talked about it and he expressed a desire to want to do it, I just am not sure how much he "understood" as far as practices, etc...

I think what we're going to do is stick it out for a few more practices and at LEAST one more game. We've made plans this weekend to have some "fun baseball" time with family to help him get a better handle of how it is played. With each practice he has improved (even the coach said so) and we had a mom on the team tell me her kid was the same way last season and by the fourth game he was ALL ABOUT BASEBALL lol... It very well may not be his thing now, or even later but I want him to give it a little more time to make sure.

I never was in sports, only choir but his dad played baseball, football, and track so he could take after either one of us in that. lol...

By Feona on Saturday, September 3, 2005 - 09:38 am:

Boys like karate too. Some macho guy I know said it was Dance for boys. He might like that.

By Feona on Saturday, September 3, 2005 - 09:39 am:

They have a free trial class, tiger shulman...

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, September 3, 2005 - 11:08 am:

Christy...good idea on working with him. You're probably right...he needs to know how it works! Let us know how it goes!!

By Jann on Saturday, September 3, 2005 - 06:42 pm:

I generally fall into the 'once you make a commitment, you finish it' camp. But, 4 is awfully young. Tball is so dull at this age (well any actually! LOL) cause it's all daisy pickers in the outfield and tons of batting. No wonder the poor kids get distracted! I think it's ok that he complains, but if the coach is good and trying to teach him, I would lean towards finishing the season.