DS won't talk.
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005:
DS won't talk.
Christopher is will be 2 on 09/11 and the only words he says is mama, dada, and no. I think this is because he doesn't have to talk to get what he wants. Like when he wants his sippy he can hand it to his sister and she fills it for him. It just seems like he should be talking. Do you guys think I should worry or should I give him more time? He can make most of the vowel sounds like e, ah, oh and other letter sounds. He just doesn't put them together to make words. It just seems like all my other dk were saying more words by now.
My nephew is doing the same thing. They had him tested for numerous things & the speech therapist just said she can give my sil the tools to teach him how to talk but if he doesn't want to he won't.
Hopefully Pam can help you a little more.
Well, I would tend to agree that if he doesn't HAVE to talk, why should he?? But I also think that pushing 2....it seems he should be saying more words than that just by way of life and not so much needing things. Had the ped mentioned anything before? Have you even talked about it with the dr? Has he had lots of ear infections or any other indication that hearing might be a little off? For right now I think I would try making him talk more. If he hands you his cup, ask him what he wants in it and wait for an answer. Ask him things like do you want the blue shirt or the red on to wear today. I wouldn't have the objects right in front of him so that he can't point. I think that with some coaxing, you might start getting some more words out of him, but it also might be worth mentioning to the ped the next time your in too. His 2 year check up should be coming soon!!
I don't remember exactly when ds started talking, but it was after his 2nd birthday. I remember dd (my oldest) on her 2nd birthday having full-out conversations with people, and on ds's 2nd birthday, it was barely "mama" and "dada." When he did start talking, however, he WOULD NOT SHUT UP!! He's 12 and still hasn't stopped talking, LOL! I would give him more time and try not to worry. 
My son was around two when he started talking. He didn't even say "mama" or "dada" or anything before around 18 or 19 months. We had his hearing tested and it was fine. My sister is a speech pathologist and she said that one of the things to pay attention to is whether he follows instructions. Is it clear that he understands you and can follow age appropriate directions? If so, you may want to try Vikki's suggestions. When my son finally started talking he spoke clearly and in full sentences. It was amazing!
My Alissa was the same way, the older siblings had her spoiled, I believe. She would just point and she would get what she wanted.
Now she is almost 5 and speaks fine, since right after her 2nd birthday.
Just encourage him to ask for what he wants or needs. And explain it to the older ones to. He will be talking up a storm in no time.
It's hard to say 'don't worry at all', but... Our youngest ds wouldn't say or do things for himself. He'd grunt at things and oldest ds would tell everybody what he wanted. If he tried to cut with scissors, oldest ds would do it for him. He didn't do b/c he didn't have to. I wish I had not allowed it and encouraged him to do more and make his older brother let little brother do for himself. But I digress...
Then I have a friend whose younger chlld, pointed and grunted and everybody told her not to worry about it, the dd would come around. When she finally did push it, the little girl was having ear infections with no other symptoms that were doing damage to her ears so that she couldn't hear well. She was almost 3 when they finally did something about it. The mother felt like the most horrible person in the world although she is a wonderful mother. The little girl never complained of pain or had a fever and was always pleasant. Just wouldn't talk. They did tubes and drained ears and lots of antibiotics and she's resolved most of her hearing and talking pretty well now.
But, don't panic over it or fret about it, but don't blow it off either. Next time your in the dr's office for something, discuss it. In the meantime keep encouraging him. Like when he points at his stuffed animal, say "do you want Teddy?" When he grunts or whatever noise he makes in response, say "yes you do" and give it to him. If there is no other problem, he won't start kindergarten not talking.
Not to make you worry but I had the same concerns as you are having and had the same justifications and my son has high-functioning autism. Someone mentioned noticing if he understands and follow instructions. My ds could answer simple questions with grunts or pointing but couldn't pick up his ball, take it into his room and bring me a book, if I asked him to. Does he point out things that interest him, like a picture in a book, or an airplane in the sky? Everyone told me that 2nd children talk later, boys talk later, his sister was talking for him, etc. Even the pediatrician brushed me off the first few times that I mentioned my concerns. I'd suggest you really impress on her how concerned you are, if you think it's a big deal. The sooner any speech and language issues are dealt with, the better.
I would encourage you to follow everyone else's suggestions to give him plenty of opportunities to HAVE to talk, like not getting milk in his cup until he tries to say "milk" or "cup". When he does try, throw a party! Give him hugs, big smiles, brag to family. Make sure he knows how much you like hearing him talk. And, if you'd like to talk to me about this, email me. My addy is in my profile.
We went through this with Shane, and it was aggrivated by the custody battle with my ex, and the fact that Shane was a twin (twin language). We had him evaluated, and he was delayed, but not enough to warrant full therapy, so we did a follow along program. They gave me information on helping him talk, like no more sippy cup, make him repeat the words, etc. He blossomed shortly after, and was caught up at the 3 month re-eval. Now he NEVER. SHUTS. UP. Really, he talks to hear the sound of his own voice. You've gotten good advice already, I just wanted you to know I've BTDT.
I would get him evaluated through early intervention. Ask the ped to give you their number. Sounds like he needs an speech evaluation.
I'm a speech therapist working with our state's Birth to Three program, so I see lots of kids who fit your son's description. Some of them just one day begin talking and catch up quickly to their peers and there was never anything to worry about. Others don't. It'd be great if there was a way to tell for sure which kids were going to be fine and which definitely need intervention to progress, but we can't know that for sure, although there are some red flags which indicate that there could be a more serious problem.
As someone else mentioned, how well does he understand? Can he follow simple directions? Point to several body parts on command, or to pictures you name in familiar books?
Also look at his oral-motor skills -- you say he drinks from a sippy cup -- is he also able to drink from a straw? Can he blow a whistle or flute? Does he pucker his lips when he gives kisses? Can he stick out his tongue, for example, to lick a sucker or ice cream, or to lick his lips when there is food on them? If you're not sure about that last one, try dabbing a little bit of food on his lips and asking him to lick it off -- hold his hands if he tries to wipe it with his hands and show him how to lick it and see if he can do it.
Are there any other delays or things you think are strange going on, things that are very different from your other child at that age? Does he make eye contact? Jargon using lots of different sounds in a communicative fashion, i.e., you say something to him and he talks back to you in his own "language"?
If all of the above things are fine, he is PROBABLY one of those kids who will just suddenly start picking up speech. If you want, though, you can have him evaluated for free through your state's early intervention program. If any of the above things are also a problem, you definitely want to consider an evaluation. If there IS a problem, the earlier it's treated, the better the prognosis -- the brain is still very much in its formative years before 3 and a LOT can be done at this age, whereas the later you wait if there IS a serious problem, the more brain-forming time you lose, and you don't want that!
He can follow instructions very well if he wants to. He loves the Wiggles and when you sing a song from the show he points at the TV and gets excited and starts grunting. He has had his hearing checked and it is fine. I am not sure about the straw but he can pucker for kisses and stick out his tongue and things like that. AND best of all he said a real word yesterday. We have a dog and he called her by saying, "Dog, Dog, Dog." I was so glad to hear that. It was a simple word but a word none the less. It is a start and you have to start simple. Thanks for the help everyone.
I don't think a mom can evaluate her son.
I remember when john was evaluated at 18 months I thought I was wasting my time. Obviously he is brilliant I thought. Just look at him. Look how he puts on my shoes and is as cute as a button. So he doesn't talk and that 14 month old I just saw was answering complete questions. Well brilliant or not, I didn't realize he didn't follow directions consistantly and had poor eye contact. The evaluators picked up on things I was shocked at. He is above average in speech now at five years old, but if I didn't have the speech therapy I am not sure how he would be now. Better safe than sorry.
Alot of moms are frightened to death to get their kids evaluated and then are sorry when kindergarten comes around and things didn't resolve themselves naturally.
I agree with Feona. The eval is free, it can't hurt and chances are you will get some great tips on how to help him.
Even those of us who have had our kids evaluated and KNOW, don't always see the picture quite right. We want to believe that our child is normal, when if fact just because they are different doesn't mean they aren't normal. Some kids just need more help than others it is easier to get the help as a toddler than waiting until they are older.
I agree with Feona and Kaye. We all have kids with disabilities and know how hard it is to say "maybe we do need some help with this problem" but all of us would say that it was the best thing we could possibly do for our kids. Please speak with your pediatrician and ask for an evaluation, just to cover your bases.
I would definitely call Birth to Three. They can do an assessment.
Latonya, I am also a pediatric speech pathologist and I would have to agree with the others in strongly urging you to have your son evaluated. If he has a problem, you'll get help. If he doesn't, you'll have peace of mind. Also, to my knowledge, every state has FREE early intervention services for children ages 0-3.
The typical 2 y/o has a vocabulary of 250-300 words. This jumps to a couple of thousand words by age 3. Your son should be putting 2 words together and using short sentences like "more juice" and "daddy bye-bye."
Probably 70-80% of the nonverbal 2 y/o's I see are just "late talkers." This means there is nothing seriously wrong, the child just isn't talking because he's a late bloomer, his parents/siblings anticipate his needs and wants and he doesn't have to talk, etc. However in the other 20-30% there may be a genetic problem, autism, apraxia, oral motor weakness, etc.
Speech pathologists are trained to look at things that you just don't have the trained eye and ear to notice, plus they can be more objective. I can usually look at most 6 month olds and predict if they will have speech problems as a toddler or if a 4 year will have reading problems later on just because of training and experience. PLease do schedule an evaluation. Based on the limited info you have provided, I would say your son has a one-year expressive language delay. You really do need to have a complete speech and language evaluation and find out how to improve his communication skills. Often with late talkers it involves teaching you some things to do at home with occasional follow-up therapy. However, the younger a child is the faster the progress. I'm sure he'll be fine, but you really do need to jump on this. Ages 2-3 is the time of biggest language development EVER and he should be learning several new words a day.
Keep us posted!
Harry was really slow too. At 3 1/2 he's now putting it all together but is still 'behind'. I'm not going to have him evaluated. His progress is slower, but it's consistent. And though his speech is behind, he is a really talented communicator in other ways and tends to simply go do things rather then ask for them (he wouldn't ask for a drink at 1 1/2, he'd go to the fridge, haul out the milk and bring it to me ). I tend to think that's why speech wasn't as important to him for so long. It just wasn't needed. But now he wants to join in on the talk and so he's learning.
Remember there's a huge range of 'normal'. The guidelines you usually see in magazines and books are more averages and don't really point out that there are children at the extremes that are still considered normal.
Speech delays... then if that isn't fixed it is a reading delay(because of the sounds)... leads to low self esteem....
Which could lead to like I am stupid so why should I try to learn?
Speech delays can go to social delay because if you aren't copying language you might not be learning social cues ... leading to child being bullying and social outcast. If the child can't communicate properly he can't make friends. What does social outcast lead to? Okay... drugs and dropping out of school.
So actually it is a big deal to get the child evaluated.
That is why some states spend so much money on the under five years old crowd. They spent over $350 a day on ds five days a week.
John still has the social speech delays and the kids that are two years older than he look at him like he is werid because he struggles to find the words sometimes. The speech teacher just thinks he needs more practice finding the words and it will just get faster.
So if john is playing with a friend who has a brother or sister two years older. The brother or sister will tell john's friend that he is werid because he still talks funny. So sooner or later his friend won't want to play with him because he is alittle different because of his speech patterns (He doesn't even have a speech delay anymore, but there is carry over from when he did have the speech delay.) Actually this only happened one or twice but still.
The child has to make more progress than his peers to catch up... it is no small thing. john had to make 1 and a half year of progress per year to finally catch up.
So he had to develop faster than his peers. It was hard work but he did it.
That speech delay was a horrible horrible thing he had. It was no little thing. It is HORRIBLE not to be able to understand what you are supposed to be able to understand. It is very damaging. All the stuff he didn't understand when he was 2 and 3 and 4... He has to catch up now... and that social stuff is very hard to learn.
It also affected his attention... How his he supposed concentrate on what someone is saying if he can't understand what is going on?
Not a joke.. Not something to say he will just catch up. Too serious.
Also John is not slow. He has advanced art, math and writing and reading skills at five years old. In some ways I think his social skills are superior to his peers. He really cares about his friends and tries to help the child crying because he is scared or in pain. I have seen him on multiple occassions introduce his old friends to new friends and try to try to include his friend at the play ground. Some kids have trouble joining in and I have seen him try to help his friend join in.
He has also completely independently printed me out get well cards when I am sick.
Just because someone has a speech delay doesn't mean they are slow. Though it sure could lead to that label if it isn't fixed. And once you start to think of yourself as overall slow, I can't imagine the damage that causes. Especially if it isn't true.
Okay some feedback here....
First some comments on posting. Feona has an interesting post, but honestly who knows. Can speech affect a child like that, yes, is that the only issue behind what has happened with her son, we will never know. And for your child chances are they will be fine.
Unschoolmom has choosen to do nothing. She schools and teaches in a very different way, this wouldn't work for me, but it does work (and very well) for her. Is she doing the right thing? Again we will don't know and won't for some time
But the central factor here is this....you are worried about your son, at least enough to post. So is what is happening with him working for you? Testing is free, noninvasive and takes very little time. So I guess I am curious as to why not go for an eval. The only thing I can think is labeling, you would hate to have your child labeled as "special ed". Well, they can't do that without your consent. You can do the eval and then choose to do nothing. What you will do is arm yourself with information. And what is it that comercial says "knowledge is power". Worst case scenerio you find out there is something wrong, and you get the help he needs NOW before it is too late. Best case scenerio, you are told nope he is fine and your mind is put at ease.
OK! I am going to get him evaluated! I know that's what I need to do. I am worried about him not talking. He can communicate very well but not with words. He seems to be trying to talk a little but just a little. He has learned to say dog and bad and he puts them together and can say bad dog but only if he feels like saying it. So I will call tomorow and make an appointment. Thnaks for all of the help.
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