And do kids go through this early sometimes???

DD is almost 13mths. and in the last 2 weeks has all of a sudden really started to protest when she doesn't get her way or about the half the time when she's told "no". By protest I mean throwing fits. For example, if she wants something now and we tell her no, she immediately 'assumes the fit position' (throws her head face down between her legs in a pike position) and cries really hard. Sometimes she throw something if it happens to be in her hand at the time(the best she can).We redirect her to something else, and that works, it's just the FREQUENCY of it happening that's tiring!
I know she's deliberately starting to test us, and we don't give in, but it's still exhausting at times! Our ped warned us at our 12mth visit that within the next 3-5mths. she would start to show resistance to "no" (before she was doing great with it), and he was right!
Some afternoons I feel like no matter what we're doing that's fun she'll find a way to test my limits. I knew it would come, I guess I just didn't know it would start this soon Can she be doing the terrible 2's early or am I a crazy first time mom?

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, July 20, 2005 - 09:37 pm:

Yes, the "Age of Independence" starts in toddlerhood. Very normal and can be very challenging! Be thankful redirection is working.

A good article:
Your 13-month-old's behavior: A stranger among you?

By Eve on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 07:10 am:

The 2's were not terrible for us. I thought 3 was much more difficult!! At 18 months my DD really started acting up. She would look at me and kick the dog and wait to see what I would do. She was constantly testing the limits. I really nearly had a break down. LOL! Melanie told me about Love and Logic and it worked like a dream for that age! There is a Magic for Early Childhood: Birth to Preschool, which is short and easy to read and full of helpful ideas. I think it's worth checking out. I found it very motivating!! Of course, do what works for you!! Good luck!

By Kittycat_26 on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 07:40 am:

I'm finding what Eve says is true. Timmy has always been independant and never liked the word "no". I thought we sailed through the two's with no issues and then about a month before he hit three, it all broke lose. It will be a miracle if we all survive. :o)

By Karefl on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 08:28 am:

I agree here! The terrible two's are a myth! It's THREE that will get ya! LOL I found this to be true with ALL three of my boys & my sister said the same with her daughter! By three they are SOOO much more verbal & try to reason and rationalize with you! UGH! Age four is better, but THREE! Oh man!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 09:11 am:

Deanna...IKWYM! Connor will try to hit me. I said, "No hitting Connor, no" and stared him straight in the face...he did it again. I think he just wanted my attention and is trying to see if it works.

I learned that ignoring him works. I just keep carrying him to another place and look away.
I'll have to read the books suggested though...I'm afraid this is just the beginning!

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 10:02 am:

We had terrible 3's that were much worse than terrible 2's! All I can say is, since it's been *quite* a while for me, listen to the ladies here who have recently been through it. I wish I had known a group like this 20 years ago! I wasn't even aware of the many books available, like Love and Logic, and 123 Magic. Take advantage of these ladie's knowledge, advice and wisdom!

By Kaye on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 10:08 am:

The funny thing about children is each age brings about it's own difficulties! You almost always get through toddlerhood and preschool years with each one being "worse" than the other. That is why having kid 2 is easier, you realize that with time all things pass and things that you thought were bad aren't so bad at all!

By Missmudd on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 10:34 am:

I would have to say it was the terrible 18mos and the terrible 3s, followed by the 6, 9, 11, 13 and 16's lol. This too shall pass.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 11:48 am:

LOL Missmudd! It's true what they say - *Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems*. Each age has it's own challenges. Unfortunately, many of the issues with preteens on *really* affect the rest of their lives......

By Mommmie on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 01:20 pm:

Yes, my son started the terrible 2's at 11 months and it mostly ended by age 5. (But my son has some disabilities - ADHD, speech issues and dyslexia and I think it was related, or at least the *extreme of it all was related. Some of it is normal.)

By Mommmie on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 01:23 pm:

Oh, and the frequency of the fits was at least hourly (of his waking moments, he slept fine) and lasted for at least 10 minutes. This was 11 months to age 3 and then the frequency tapered off over the next 2 years.

By Tink on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 03:01 pm:

I think Missmudd had it right, at least with the ages I've been through. The terrible two's started quite a bit before the second birthday and I think it sounds like your DD is showing the classic signs. Soon, she'll be wanting to do everything by herself and showing a real "onery" streak, as others pointed out, like kicking the dog and hitting others. I really think it's just a time of testing boundaries and making sure that when you say "No", you mean it.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 04:49 pm:

Whew!! She went through a phase about a month ago where she would scratch my arm! I started ignoring it and it ended, thankfully.
Trina- your article was helpful, too. It's nice to know that this is "normal"!
She's a real stinker these days and sometimes I'm just not in the mood!
Thanks everyone!

By Kay on Friday, July 22, 2005 - 09:08 pm:

It's been quite awhile since I experienced the 2's and 3's firsthand (the most recent one I had is now almost 15), but the 3's just seemed SO much tougher! I think it really does have to do with the growing independence at 3.

Oh, well - we lived through it....and besides - my revenge is near.....MENOPAUSE!!!!!

By Crystal915 on Friday, July 22, 2005 - 10:52 pm:

I agree with Karen and the others on the 3s... my kids are getting even worse now that they are 3! The still don't listen to no all the time, they tantrum, especially when Daddy isn't home, and they can be total terrors sometimes!

By Kim on Saturday, July 23, 2005 - 08:29 am:

I'm sorry.....LOL, lpease don't be mad...to answer, it is like being in the 6th ring of h e double hockey sticks!

Yes, the terribles NEVER end until they are grown up and have kisd of their own and realize what they've done to you.....

sorry, I am a little perky this morning...

By Heaventree on Saturday, July 23, 2005 - 10:13 am:

I'm so happy about this post. I guess I'm not the only one. So it's really the terrible 18 months!? Great, just in time for new baby to come home - waaaahhh. My posting will increase 2 fold.

My good natured little boy has taken to throwing things at my head just for fun, the biting continues, hitting, kicking the dog - oh yeah right there with you and this little man of mine just thinks it's a riot. When DH comes home it's ten times worse, we have had to put a lock on the dishwasher, he will just not stay out of the dishwahser when DH is home and I already mentioned the banging of the head thing in another post. My house looks like a bomb hit it these days as my belly is too big to bend over and pick up all the stuff on the floor.

Thanks ladies and yes, this too shall pass! That is until the next little drama.

By Bellajoe on Saturday, July 23, 2005 - 02:40 pm:

Here it is the terrible 3's, and 4's, My ds is 4 now and gets upset when things don't go his way. He does throw a toy or two of they are in his hands. Sometimes he kicks or hits me or his sister. Hopefully, this too shall pass.

By Kernkate on Monday, July 25, 2005 - 04:28 pm:

I always thought 2 and 3 wasn't so bad, DD Alissa is now in the fearsome 4's

By Babysitbarb on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 10:51 am:

I tell my youngest that her terrible two's are the reason we stopped having kids after her. (Not really). She started the tantrums before she was one and didn't really grow out of it until about age 4. She's now a very well mannered girl at age 13. I realized when she came along that my oldest tantrums were mild compared to the youngest.
Stay strong and don't give in to these tantrums and they will pass.
She will soon be 16 and they will start all over again. LOL!!!!!

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 11:12 am:

LOL Babysitbarb! They seem to be a LITTLE less frequent in the last few days, but boy does she have a temper! Ignoring her tantrums and redirecting seems to be SLOWLY working. She gets it honest - dh and I both have red hair and we both have tempers. He's slow to get angry but when he does he blows, and I blow up over little things. We are probably in for it!! Thanks everyone!

By Missmudd on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 12:08 am:

bump

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 11:30 am:

The terrible 2's can start anytime. Depends on your child's personality and maturity level. Seems to me it starts when they become more aware of things. and for my dd it really wasn't so bad. We had about 3 episodes that each lasted about 3 weeks or so. and in each case it ended when I figured out the problem usually by reading something. For example the first episode was fits about getting dressed, brushing teeth, lunches, etc. I read something about giving them choices. Before I had always gotten her up and dressed her. So I gave her a choice of 2 outfits. She was happy b/c she got to pick. I had fixed her lunch. But I started asking her if she wanted fish sticks or chicken nuggets or peaches or oranges. It amounted to the fact she was becoming aware of stuff and it made her happy to have a say so in he own little life. She was almost 2 when that started.

By Breann on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 08:16 pm:

Terrible Just kidding. 3 was much worse for us than 2.

The terrible 2's is just a saying. It's not like a curse or anything that happens to EVERY child. I think it's just to scare us!

By Annie2 on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 09:02 pm:

I have to agree with Kim. I wish I was ONLY dealing with a two year old instead of a 14 year old dd. Her tantrums are much worse! LOL