Wednesday my daughter was "kicked out" of daycare because she won't stop biting other kids. I explained to them when we enrolled in April and several times since then that she is autistic, and she's 2, so 2 year olds bite, and she doesn't talk so that's her only defense when she feels herself or her toys are threatened.
I was told that the daycares can only boot children if the guidelines in the parent handbook are broken.... well I never got any guidelines or a handbook. Can they really do this without warning or consequence? If I had some notice, it might not be so bad, but I have class tomorrow and work Monday, so I was scrambling to find a new daycare today that would take 2 new kids at 7am tomorrow morning. It just doesn't seem right that they just don't want to deal with her or the problem so my daughter has to now adapt to a new daycare; new teachers; new kids... this is going to be soooo stressful on her. The coordinator's exact words were that my daughter has to leave because the mother of one of the boys she bit is threatening to call CPS and the state and says that the daycare is endangering the other children by keeping my daughter there. Can they really do this? It's not her fault, she doesn't know any better and I feel like she's being punished for something she can't control.

By Mommmie on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:52 pm:

Oh, I'm sorry this happened to you. What a scramble finding alternative care (no warning, sheesh!) and then your daughter having to adjust. I think private daycares can pretty much pick and choose what kids they have. When my son was in daycare we saw several kids get kicked out - and they worked with other kids, too. Not every challenging kid got kicked out. They gave biters washclothes to bite - instead of other kids. Some parents with special needs kids have better luck in home daycares. My son did well in a church run place (he's ADHD/LD).

When she's 3 you might call the school district and have her evaluated and see if you can get her into a special ed preschool. With an IEP she'll have some protection and the teacher's will be appropriately trained.

Good luck and I hope your daughter does well at the new place. I'm sure you gave them a head's up as to her issues.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:07 pm:

I personally don't have experience withmy own child at daycare, but as a kindergarten teacher I dealt with kids who went to daycare the other half of the day. I think they can pretty much do what they want as far as taking and getting rid of kids. I'm so sorry this happened!! I agree that as soon as she turns 3 to have her evaluated. If she is autistic she will qualify for special education and will be in a classroom setting that's more supportive of her needs. Good luck and {{{hugs}}}}

By Tink on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:17 pm:

There should be resources available to you that aren't always available to others, due to your dd's disability. My son also has autism and was in a therapy based preschool. Please try to contact your school district. They can put you in contact with an Early Childhood Program that can help you out. You would be surprised by the help that is out there, that no one suggests to you until you ask. I agree that private preschools can include or dismiss any child they choose to, especially since it sounds like they had talked to you before about this issue. I understand your frustration and hope that you are able to find another place for your dks soon.

By Frasersmama on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 12:29 am:

I am sorry that this is happening. Whether or not they have a right to do this, I don't know, but it is completely unprofessional and inappropriate to give you no notice. Did they give you a warning or anything that this might be coming? It sounds to me like this is not a good daycare in terms of meeting your child's needs anyway, so in the long run it may be for the best. Is this a private daycare? I am not sure what the regulating body would be in your state, but I would certainly report this so the same thing doesn't happen to other families.

By Feona on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 07:06 am:

We were thrown out of one preschool so don't take it personally. We found a better preschool which ds really shined in.

Call the school district special ed office and see if they have any advice on day care or preschools.

Is your daughter getting speech therapy from early intervention?

If you have any temple preschools they can be very very good.

By Kim on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 08:02 am:

If they were a good daycare they would work with you and shadow your child or get extra help for her. Yes, they have the right to ask you to leave for any reason, it is usually their discretion unfortunately. We work with biters, but if it doesn't get better or other things come into play the biter will be asked to pull their child until the phase passes so they can return.

You definitely should have had some knowledge of this happening!

By Kaye on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 08:56 am:

Whether they can or can't do this is probably indifferent now. BUT the good thing is they aren't there any more, you just don't want your kids somewhere where they aren't wanted!

What I have found with special needs kids, it is very hard to find preschool/daycare. public places just are mandated to take these exceptional kids. I think you should look into what other resources might be available to you through early intervention.

By Lauram on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 03:22 pm:

All I know is it is very difficult. The daycare my son goes to is 504 compliant and they have a disabilities coordinator to resolve issues. I would use it as a lesson to get yourself prepared for the future. I also agree about calling the school district about early intervention.

By Amecmom on Friday, July 8, 2005 - 04:15 pm:

Ditto Tink. Contact Early Intervention and have your daughter placed in a theraputic preschool. It will not cost you anything and it will be great for her!
Ame

By Alonewith2 on Sunday, July 17, 2005 - 10:42 am:

We're going through First Steps to get her speech and occupational therapy. She's in a certified home right now, which is working out much better for her so far. The ladies in First Steps have discussed preschool with me and when she turns 3 she'll be able to go. First Steps only works with kids until they are 3, so she'll have to go to the preschool to continue her therapies. She's on a waiting list right now at a child evaluation center to get her diagnosis, so we'll see what happens. Thanks for the info, it's not right that daycares can just boot kids without any warning. But, you're all right, I think it IS better for her this way too, where she and I both don't have to deal with this particular headache of a daycare.

By Lauram on Sunday, July 17, 2005 - 04:47 pm:

Read the secord article in the center of this page about pre-K expulsion rates:

http://info.med.yale.edu/chldstdy/

By Reds9298 on Sunday, July 17, 2005 - 05:43 pm:

Christina-I work for First Steps in Indiana! I haven't read all of the posts, but sounds like she will be eligible for Head Start after age 3??