I'm going back and forth between being so angry I can't think and wanting to cry my eyes out.

I got a business card in my door last night when I got home from Child Protective Services. This lady wants to talk to me about a report DSS received. I can't even fathom what they want.

I'm guilty but only of spoiling my kids and giving them anything they want.

I've got to call her today but I'm sure she wont' be that easy to get in touch with.

By Rayelle on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 07:43 am:

Oh wow! That is scary. ((HUGS))) Maybe it's a mistake with your address. There are some crazies out there who like to call for the most tiny, minor things that aren't abuse at all, just discipline or a misunderstanding.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 08:00 am:

I wouldn't call her...let her reach you...that's HER job!
It may be a hoax, too. Let it go until someone contacts you.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 08:17 am:

Ditto, Annie. Rip it up. You never saw it. A business card in a door is not a legal way for them to contact you. They cannot come into your home unless you allow them. They cannot speak with your child without your permission. Don't give permission for anything. If they really do have a case they feel is actionable, they will get the warrants they need. Otherwise you could say things that they can misconstrue. My late SIL was the target of a CPS harassment instigated by her late husband's family (very long, sad story). Of course all the allegations were unfounded, but she was still frightened and what a nightmare to get it all resolved.
Going anon for personal info.

By Rayelle on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 09:21 am:

Oh I never thought about it being a hoax, that is a good point. I would've been flipping out in your shoes too.

By Marcia on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 10:58 am:

Did it say the report was about your family? It could be that she wants to talk to you about a report on another neighbour, and she is looking for witnesses.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 11:25 am:

I think that since you have nothing to hide it would be best to call them back. If it isn't about you then you won't have to worry anymore. If it is about you then you will appear to be open & wanting to get cleared up what ever report they have.
Good luck!

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 11:41 am:

My first reaction is to wait a day or two and see if she contacts you again. I agree, a card in the door is not a particularly official or appropriate means of contact. On the other hand, Emily7 has a good point - if someone has made a false report about you, it is better to appear open and cooperative. But, no one should talk with your kids unless you are present.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 - 03:46 pm:

When going through my divorce, some "friends" were trying to help my ex get custody by making false reports of abuse. I've been investigated twice, and obviously the accusations were false, but it was a TERRIFYING ordeal. In the second case, Shane had some ink from a pen in the diaper bag that rubbed off onto his leg. She claimed it was a bruise, and took him to the hospital while babysitting. (I didn't know it was her that made the first accusation, and she watched my kids at the time) The best thing you can do is just act normal, be open and honest, and let them complete their investigation. Once they finish, you will get a letter stating it has been closed, without supporting evidence. ((((Hugs)))) I know all too well what you are going through, but you will be fine.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 01:04 pm:

You all make me feel better that I'm not alone on this one. I did call her yesterday partly just wanting it all to go away.

Apparently, someone took down my license plate when I was dropping off or picking up my oldest son from summer camp. I often leave the baby sleeping in the car and pick my older son up. Please, please, please know that the car is never out of my sight.

If someone had questioned it, I am right there. Just not physically beside the car but only 15 or 20 feet away.

They are coming to meet with me tonight and see both of the children. Here at work, some of been through this as well. They have said much of the same. Act normal as you've done nothing wrong.

My husband is just furious over this though.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 01:37 pm:

Good grief!

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 - 01:46 pm:

Well, I think it will be quickly resolved.

Looking at it in the best possible light, someone who doesn't know you or your car walked by and saw a baby alone in a car in the heat of August, and notified CPS because they were concerned. I can sort of understand that - we've had news in the Philadelphia area of reports this summer of two babies and an elderly man who were left unattended in cars and died.

I agree that it would have been a reasonable action to go to a camp supervisory person and ask them to call out the license number. But then, the announcement might have been "Person with license #X, you left your baby unattended in your car." That might not have been as bad as officially coming to the attention of CPS, but would be pretty embarassing.

By Ilovetom on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 12:18 am:

It's amazing what they investigate and what they don't. I hope it all works out for you.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 11:38 am:

I am thinking the same thing... It is nice how they can pick and choose what they look into.

I am sure it will all work out..

By Vicki on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 12:47 pm:

I too can see easily how this happened, especially at a camp where people likely don't know you or your car. I do wonder though if this was just someone who saw you do it and didn't agree with it? The reason I ask that is because if I saw a baby unattended in a car, I wouldn't simply write down the plate number and go about my business and then call CPS. I would right then and there see where the parents were and/or called the police or got someone from the camp. I have a feeling this was someone who saw you do it and thinks it is wrong.

By Annie2 on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 05:52 pm:

Anon, what happened last night? Hope everything went well

By Amecmom on Saturday, August 16, 2008 - 11:25 am:

Yes, they do tend to investigate the "safe" easy to reach people first, before they go after the He$$ holes some chidren suffer in.
Wondering how things went. Hugs.
Ame

By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 - 07:10 am:

Sorry, I've been so busy trying to get everything together for my older son to start school (plus I'm trying to ignore this whole thing).

The DSS worker came to the house and does openly admit that there is no abuse (DUH! unless you count spoiled rotten). However, it most likely will be considered unsubstantiated neglect. Meaning (I think) that the child was not harmed but coudl have been and they can't physically prove what happened. I can appeal when I get the decision (up to 30 days from now); however, it would be appealed with her supervisor who is already in on the decision making process and I get to pay $50 to do this. If I don't appeal, I become part of a local database at DSS. According to her this means that I will not be getting a job in the school system or becoming a day care mom. My name stays in this database for five years.

And I'm not jaded. I can see both sides of this. I'm just furious that someone made assumptions that I wasn't there and wasn't watching and now, I've got to jump through all these hoops.

Again, anonymity gives people great security to be judgemental.

By Kaye on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 - 06:10 pm:

I just don't think that sounds right. I would appeal, I might even talk with a lawyer about what that means. The reality is, you are innocent until proven guilty, you can't be put on some data base like an offender if they don't suspect abuse...really. It certainly would be worth 50 dollars to make them clear your name. Also I would go photograph where the car was, maybe even video it, or have this lady meet you there at the same time. My urge is to really fight this.

By Tarable on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 - 11:49 pm:

Especially if this could be found on a background check. I know we have to pass a background check to even volunteer at my dds school, if the rules where you are, are the same you would not even be allowed to go on field trips or into the classroom for school parties or anything. I would fight it.

By Dana on Thursday, August 21, 2008 - 02:34 am:

I would fight it too. You never know where it might jump up and grab you in the future. What a mess. As you said, now you will be jumping thru hoops to resolve this.

By Amecmom on Thursday, August 21, 2008 - 11:51 am:

Fight it for sure. I wish there were some way you could say that you never left your child unsupervised in the car and that you misunderstood the accusation. Get a lawyer if you have to. There should be no way you can be "convicted" without getting to face your accuser. That is the law.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sadly, when we try to do the right thing, especially with government agencies, it often ends up coming back to hurt us...
Ame