I am lost as to what to do next. Jade gets mad and will let out this high pitched scream and man it rattles the glass in the windows. Or she will just throw herself down whereever she is at. Or she will hit her head off of whatever is closest to her just because she is not getting her way. The throwing herself and hitting her head we can control we just put her in her play pen until she calms down. But the screaching help! We have tried putting her in her room in her crib till she stops that doesn't help we have put her in her playpen edoes work nothing works and man I an getting headaches nightly and nothing seems to help.

We put our hand on her mouth and tell her no, we talk real quiet to her hoping she will stop and listen and no this doesn't work either.

We have a very headstrong little girl and man can she push our buttons!!!

By Amecmom on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 09:23 am:

Tonya, hugs! In my experience you can show her all you want that its wrong and it hurts your ears, and it won't help. In fact all the extra attention my reinforce the behavior. Believe me, she knows she's pushing your buttons!
Just say, "No, Jade that hurts Mommy's ears - when you can get a word in - put her in her playpen and walk away. Don't come back until she stops screaming. This way she'll begin to associate her stopping with your return.
Even this may not work. She just may be frustrated and not have the words yet to tell you, so she screams.
My friend's son did this for years until he became more verbal and was able to communicate his wants better.
Good luck - and get earplugs!
Ame

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 09:25 am:

Sounds familiar. I highly recommend the book...

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 02:57 pm:

Oh, Tonya... I know your pain!! Madison will still do that when really frustrated! Hopefully, once she begins talking it will be much better, it sounds like you are doing everything right. (((Tonya)))

By Tink on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 07:13 pm:

Tonya, I would also try to NOT give her any attention for screaming like that. If she's doing it for your attention, that's exactly what she's getting and she will continue to do it as long as you reinforce it, even if you don't want to. If she's doing it out of frustration, and that would be understandable with her age, putting her in her playpen won't hurt her and will give her a chance to calm herself down. I think you've got the right idea, just stick to your guns. {{{Tonya}}}

By Children03 on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 09:12 pm:

I would not respond to the negative screaming fits that she is having, but make sure that you give her all of your attention when she is calm and acting for something in a calm manner. She will learn really fast that you won't respond to her fits, but that you do respond when she is being good.

By Lea on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 10:25 pm:

Oh my...the poor baby! If possible can you get in Jade's face as quick as the tantrum starts and use soothing gestures (rubbing her back and arms) while gently shushing her and saying "no no it's ok".

I wonder...does leaving her alone increase her distress? I'd be tempted to keep Jade close and try to reassure her until she's quiet again.

Keep us posted...

(secret note to self: I've been tempted to express myself like that at times too!)

Lea

By Kim on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 07:55 am:

Kayla did this from birth also (Somtimes 6+ hours a day). Kayla has what I would consider a tantrum and then she has what I would consider a meltdown. There IS a difference. I know some of you have experienced it. If its a tantrum, by all means I would ignore it and definitely reward the chld with interaction for calm behaviour. If its a meltdown I think a whole different approach is needed. For me I could tell by duration, pitch, intensity. Kayla had reflux that went undiagnosed until she waS 9 months? So pain was a factor. I guess first you need to figuer out if it is tantrum or meltdown. Trina suggested a good book. I have the workbook too, if its the same one I am thinking of. If you think she is having meltdowns I will post what I do for Kayla.

Maybe talk to your doctor also. I had to request anxiety meds after the first 8 months of Kayla. The other kids had their own intensity problems and it was too much. I am not ashamed or embarrassed that I had to ask for help. It helped me function better as a parent in order to take better care of Kayla and the other kids.