I have a 4 year old boy who is afraid of the water. He's fine in the lake but is afraid at the pool. Every Tuesday we go for lessons, I'm in the water with my 3 year and my 4 year old is in a group class. I can see that the instructors are frustrated because all he will do sit on the steps or play on the steps. He will not try or participate in the class.

Would you persist or take him out for 6 months?

I've tried to take him swimming during the week but I only have so much time. If I have both kids in the water it's difficult to give my older child the time he needs as my 3 year old is crazy for the water and needs hands on attention. Maybe I just need to do a week intensive with him or leave it for awhile. Swimming is a life skill and opting out completely is not an option but I wonder if I'm doing any good by leaving him a class that he refuses to participate in.

By Jackie on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 03:53 pm:

I think if it were me, I would stop bringing him. I have found that my kids change from year to year. My youngest will be 4 next week. Last year she would never dream of putting her face/head in the water. She is swim lessons now as well, her first time ever. She now puts her whole head under the water, ,blows bubbles through her nose LOL, and goes under to pick up the rings..
My point..kids change, I would not force him.

By Vicki on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 03:55 pm:

I would take him out for 6 months and try again. If he is unwilling to do anything, your paying for nothing!

By Chai~latte on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 04:19 pm:

Yeah, we talked about it today and he doesn't want me to take him out but I think I will anyway. It may even make him realize that he needs to participate if he wants to go.

Vicki, we are not paying for the lessons per se, they are part of our gym membership. I will put him into childcare while my other son and I go to lessons. I feel like a bit of a meanie because he will be left out but I might just take him on my own once a week. We went through the same thing with Soccer this summer he would not participate, it was frustrating, he does not seem to like group activities, however, Jackie has a very good point - kids change perpetually! Just when you think you got them figured out. Thanks.

By Debbie on Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - 04:35 pm:

Well, I would talk to him, and tell him that he must participate to stay in the lessons. Let him know he has to show you in the next lesson that he will do this. Otherwise, you will pull him out. I think you should give him the chance before you pull him.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, August 7, 2008 - 07:03 pm:

Ditto Debbie.