Ok, thats what my I been refering it as..My son is in 5th grade. About 2 months ago, they sent home a permission slip so the kids could watch the puberty/sex movie.. Well not sex, but learning stuff in an educuational sense. Ok,so I signed it, and never gave it much thought after. I mean I guess you can say I forgot about it. Yesterday as I was chatting with a friend, who has a son in the same grade(but different school). She told me her son just saw the movie this week, and has been asking questions. She asked me if my son had seen it. I said "I dont know, and that he has not mentioned a word to me"...So I asked him, he said they saw it last month. He said the boys in one room, girls in the other. I asked him why he never told me, he turned red and started giggling LOL...I dont know why, I started gigg.ling as well. I asked if he had any questions , he said NO, I asked if he wanted to talk about the movie, he said NO, asked if he wanted to talk to his dad about it, he said NO, asked if he wanted me to get him a book about it, he said NO..All while still bright red and very embarassed. We have never sat him down and had the sex talk. We kept saying when he was asking questions, he never has. He knows the correct name of the female and male parts(Penis and Vagina), youd be surprised how some boys this age dont know its called a Vaginia.. He knows where babies come out of, he knows women have eggs. He didnt know how the babies were actually made LOL He does now. I asked him if any of the movie was new to him, he said it all was new to him. He also went on to say its gross LOL
Anyways, he will be 11 in August and going to middle school next year. I will say the few friends he hangs out with are more his speed, more into YuGiOh cards and playstation then girls and sex (Not a bad thing right).
Is this normal for him to be so embarassed and not want to talk about this at all? Did we shelter him that much?
I dont want to force him to talk about it, but Id like to know what he knows and understand.
Anybody go through this with a shy boy. Hes actually not really shy, but in this matter he is.

By Missmudd on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 11:17 am:

Youre his MOM, omgoodness, yes it is normal for him not to want to discuss this with you. You did the right thing for making sure that he knows that if he wants to know anything he can ask. I think that it is just TMI sometimes, you have to be sure they know everything they need to but then again some kids it is just TMI and really dont want to discuss it, especially with mom. I think you need to enlist DH, ask how he felt about it when he learned all about "it" and see if he will talk w/ ds about it. I personally would back off and let the guys (ds and dh) talk about it.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 11:34 am:

DEFINITELY normal for him to be embarrassed. Forcing a discussion is probably a bad idea, simply because he will tune you out or become angry or more embarrassed or all of the above. But at some point - and I would suggest a point in the near future - your and/or your DH NEED to have this discussion with him.

Since I was a single parent, it was pretty much up to me to have *the talks* with my kids. And yes, they were embarrassed at certain ages, but I started talking and never stopped over the years.

My opinion has always been that they need to be educated about sex/reproduction/body parts, etc., but the most important things they need to be aware of (besides the obvious unwanted pregnancy issue and abstinence issue), are the risks for contracting diseases and the emotional implications of being sexually active.

By Kaye on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 11:53 am:

My dd is in the exact same boat. Yes we have sheltered her, but what I am finding is there is a big difference betweent he two groups at school, those who know everything and are very into boys and those that seem to know nothing. I was this way, I turned out okay. I think I knew most of the facts, but just wasn't interested. When I was I found info. It wasn't through my parents, but it was from reliable books, friends etc. Really I turned out okay. We do really stress about making choices, waiting for marriage. We always point out when people are setting a good example and some bad ones too. For example, my dad almost married a horrible lady last year, long story, but 1 week before the wedding they cancelled it. Well they had already traded in cars, got joint cell phones, etc. So we took this opportunity to say, this is why you wait till you are married for LOTS of things, things happen, and it is easier to back out of a situtation if you haven't put those kind of strains. Believe it or not for about a week my dad hemmed and hawed over break this off because they already did the car thing...geesh! She saw that, and I did take the opportunity to mention sex. That is why you wait.

Also through movies and such we will talk about stuff. Survivor has been some great teaching moments. I think for me it will be akward to sit and have a "forced" talk, but if it comes up in conversation it is easier, so I do find more ways to bring it up.

By Juli4 on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 11:58 am:

I would just find a book and give it to him. He will want to read it and stuff. He just may not want you to know about it. Just give him the info he needs and then drop it. Him and his friends will talk about it and you want the info to be accurate as possible.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 12:11 pm:

Totally normal to be embarrassed. I think you handled it well. My DS will be turning 9 in August and he has suddenly become all grossed out about kissing, etc.. If DH and I kiss and hug (normal public displays of affection) he gets embarrassed and says, "Oh, that's nasty!" He knows all the correct body terms and knows where babies come out but we have yet to discuss exactly how babies are made. We have been talking about body parts and answering questions all along as they come up naturally. He's still too young for the nitty gritty info but I sense it won't be long.

I'm 41 and remember watching "the movie" in high school health class. I'm glad they show it younger now because by high school it's too late. I was already aware of all the information presented. My Mom and I had chats but my big brother filled me in on all the good stuff. LOL! He was good about it, too. Accurate, honest, matter-of-fact and very protective of his little sister.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 12:39 pm:

Having 3 sons, I can tell you that we don't discuss the specifics of sex. Yes, while they were growing up we had lots of dinnertable and other kinds of conversations about responsibility, STDs, pregnancy, respecting a woman so that you DON'T see her as an object, not treating sex like a hamburger, etc. But the specific, how to details - nope. Not an appropriate topic of discussion between son and mom, in my and their opinions.

To this day there are things we don't discuss directly and jokes we don't share. If something comes up or there is a joke I or they really want to share, it goes through their father. In fact, while Scott and I were running errands Saturday I said something that, a second after it left my mouth, I realized had a very clear vernacular sexual connotation. He was shocked and said "what did you say", I said "oops", and he said, let's just erase this last 60 seconds - how about those Mets.

The point is, if you have a "guy" whose attitude about sex and this kind of discussion you trust and feel comfortable about having conveyed to your son, that is where those conversations should take place. I assume your dh is the guy. In my case it was my ex, but his attitude about sex was not one of the reasons we split.

By Bemerry84 on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 01:09 pm:

Jackie, my son was just like yours. I was overly concerned because he never asked questions but seemed to know things and I wanted him to know the correct things not the things other boys talk about. I asked around and found a wonderful book "What's Happening to My Body? For Boys by: Lynda Madaras. Well I went into his room one day and gave him the book, he took it, looked at the cover and threw it back at me, I picked it up and took it back to my room and put it away, he just wasn't ready to address the issues. I waited about 9 months and gave it to him again (in 7th grade) and he took it and I haven't seen it since. He's now 14, some just mature faster than others. I also have a 7yr old son and he wants to know everything!!!! and this is where I have trouble because he's too young for some of the stuff and is not satisfied with the answers I give him and keeps asking. Good Luck!!!

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 12:48 am:

I only have girls, so maybe it is different. I bought a book, when my older one was starting to change. (Growing up: It's a girl thing) Both of my kids have read it. Both of my kids have the Human Growth and Development units at school. It is pretty easy for us to talk about and it does come up, once in a while. Neither of my kids is all that interested in boys. Getting good grades is more their priority, at this point.

It seems easier for me to talk about it with my kids, than it was for my mom and me.