I've read some of the archives that mention this, but I wanted to hear from those of you who use this method. We bought the book, I read the whole thing last night, and Nate is reading it now. The problem was I felt he over-reacted (the "little-adult" syndrom) and he felt I was too soft, and we were not getting ANYWHERE with discipline. Spankings and yelling were getting out of hand, and the whole house has become stressed out. So... after reading the book I'm feeling really good about this method. Even just a couple of counts this morning, and it's starting to improve. Who here uses 1-2-3 Magic, and what have your experiences been? What were your discipline problems? We were having total distruction during time outs, refusal to stay in time out, just complete meltdowns when things didn't go their way. Of course, I've been having my own meltdowns out of frustration, losing my temper, feeling guilty, and parenting has been no fun at all. The only recent behavior I can't figure out how to deal with is playing with the electrical sockets in their room. They have been pulling the covers out and when we catch them we explained it was "Danger!!" to no avail, but after reading Magic I can't decide exactly how to handle it. Obviously it's a serious, dangerous event, but often they do it while in their room at night, and we don't know until later. Any suggestions there? I suppose the next step is buying the covers that turn, but I'm afraid that'll just be a bigger challenge for them, and they are old enough to figure it out.

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

Do you need electical outlets in their room right now? If not then just buy blank plates and put them on, no outlets to get to.
Or option two is put furniture in front of the outlets.

I used 123 magic, I think for me I was pretty laid back until I snapped, this let my kids know when I am serious before I lose it. I very rarely count now.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 05:27 pm:

I don't think it would work too well on children as young as yours. I like what Kaye said...Just remove the outlets as an issue by blocking them. Or, if they have a real interest in how they work, hand them a plug and sit with them while they plug it in and pull it out (if you still worry just pull the right fuse to stop power to that outlet). I did this with my son when he was two and it only took a couple of days before he was satsfied and moved on. Either they'll be satisfied as well or they'll learn what really is safe to go in an outlet...And if you're there with them they'll know it's safe to let you know about things they're curious about and they won't feel the need to be sneaky about it in the future.

Alternately, if you want to read up on discipline try Barbara Coloroso's 'Kids Are Worth It'. It's very well thought out, common sense stuff on positive discipline.

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 05:38 pm:

I haven't read the book. What is the basic bottomline to the disciplining?

By Cat on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 06:14 pm:

From the time we tried 1-2-3 Magic I can say that it is a very good program. It will work if you're consistant with it. Can you get a copy of the video? That will help. The book is great, but the video can help you see it in action. Unfortunately for us, Robin is like the Borg and he "adapted" too quickly with it. I honestly don't think your kids are too young for it. They just turned 3, right? They're actually at just the right age. They're smart. They'll get it if you're consistant with it. Good luck. I know it's hard, and with twins it's got to be even harder. They can tag team you! lol Hang in there, Crystal. Vent here anytime.

By Jann on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 07:12 pm:

I lived by Magic when my kids were little!! I still use alot of the principles now. The book says for ages 2-12, so I do believe that the techniques would work. I found that it helped me not engage in word battles with my kids. It helped me remove my emotion so I wasn't being laid back and then losing it. Consistancy is the key and not reacting, all hard but doable.
As far as the outlets, I agree with everyone else. Just put a blank cover over the outlets.

By Lauram on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 08:04 pm:

Well- I have that book- but honestly- I WISH there was magic with my 8 year old. But alas, no! For us, the best parenting book for him in additon to Different Minds is Kids, Parents and Power Struggles. That one is by the author of The Spirited Child (also a good book). He actually stuck two wires in the electical outlet a few weeks ago... Scared him to death. He shorted out his room too. With my younger one, he's able to be disciplined.... We feel like more competent parents with him. He's also very intense, but at least he is able to learn and apply his mistakes! All I can say about my older one is even all the experts we've taken him to can't figure him out!

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 - 09:50 pm:

Yes, they did just turn 3, so I think they are the perfect age. I wanted to get it under control now, so hopefully we can avoid a bigger struggle later. I'll definitely look into the DVD, now that I've read the book. The blank outlet idea is great, we don't have anything that plugs in in their room, and they don't have much furniture (all clothes are in the closet) so it sounds like the perfect solution. Thanks everyone!!

By Feona on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 07:29 am:

Also, since they are three, I explain the reasons behind everything.

I find it work amazing.

I saw a child drinking the water off the floor at the sprinkler park. I was amazed the parents didn't tell him that the kids were

either
peeing in the water

or he was drinking goose poop water

or that he was drink germs.

They just said stop about 150 times and threated to leave about 150 times.

Obviously they should have left at 3rd warning.

1-2-3

Obviously the parents were enjoying being outside and weren't going home for anything.

I think for some kids you have to explain to everything to them. The little boy was also going through the garbage near me to find straws to use with the sprinkler water on the floor. (gross) So I explained to him about germs and illness being in the garbage can. He stopped going by the garbage can.


Like show what germs look like in the museum.

Or show pictures of

electrically fried people on the internet. So the kids can understand the real consequences.


People just warning and threatening - forget about it.... If you are not going to take them home let them drink the
sprinkler water off the floor. (Gross)

It would be better than teach that you don't follow through on the consequences. At one point the mother almost through a shoe at the child. (I know the child from John's old school.) But she know she couldn't do that in front of everyone so she stopped.


If you follow through for consistantly your child know that you mean what you say and will listen to you.

Honestly, I have left the park one time this year with ds. He was swing on the swings dangerously and wouldn't listen. So we left.

2 weeks later ds was explaining how you should swing safely to the other kids. I almost died... See he listened and learned.

By Kaye on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 08:11 am:

I think what feona said hit the nail on the head. FOLLOW through and be consistant. I found 123 magic helpped me do that. It isn't for everyone, but even at a young age it help the kids know when i was in "serious: mom mode.

Feona it isn't the 3rd warning, but more like counting. I say stop, if they don't I will say 1, 2 and if I ever have to say three the consequence is up to me. Sometimes we leave, sometimes they would get a swat.

By Feona on Thursday, June 9, 2005 - 07:12 pm:

I guess you could time out or leave. Sometimes I just leave because I am out of patience.

My son loves the park or the sprinkler or the pool. So leaving the park is really a punishment he remembers.