How did you decide what chores were age-appropriate? We don't have set daily or weekly chores for the kids. I just ask them to help out as needed. If I'm making dinner, I'll ask someone to set the table and they all grab what they can and help out. If I'm folding laundry, I just hand towels, washclothes, or pajamas to the kids so they can help out. Do you think it's better to have a set list of things that each child is responsible for or that each helps out as necessary?

And, on a similar note, since so many of us don't tie chores together with an allowance, do you still hand out allowances even if chores aren't done? We are just starting an allowance and I have to admit having trouble handing money over if any of them have had a nasty attitude about participating with the usual cleaning up. Maybe this is just because any money I made growing up was paid to me for doing jobs around the house.

By Tonya on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 02:01 pm:

Timmy does the same things every week he might not do them all of the time but we have him switch the laundry over like empty the dryer and bring in the baskets of dirty cloths to the laundry room. He lets the dog in/out. He picks up the baby's toys after she is in bed at night. His room must be clean every night before he goes to bed and his bed must be made every morning when he gets up before he does anything else. He also has to help take in-out the trash every Thursday.

By Andyjoy on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 03:38 pm:

My parents' philosophy on chores was similar to yours--we helped out when we were asked/told to, and didn't have a set list of chores. When it was nearing dinner time, we set the table. Afterwards, we cleaned up and loaded the dishwasher. Whenever clothes came out of the dryer, we helped fold them. If dad was gathering trash for trash day, we all gathered and emptied the cans. If it was time to do wash, we gathered dirty clothes. We realized we were part of a team and all needed to chip in to get things done. An "age appropriate" chore was anything we were capable of doing.

When we were teens, our individual chores were spelled out a bit more since we were coming and going and not always at home at the same time. That way, the one with outside activities didn't get out of family chores.

As far as allowance, for us it was based on having our rooms cleaned by Saturday. We had all week to get them up to snuff, and had a Sat. cut off of noon. We learned to pick up our rooms all week, rather than waiting until Sat. morning, when we wanted to both play and have money to spend!

By Crystal915 on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 04:36 pm:

My kids clear their plates, make their beds, pick up their toys, and occasionally help me fold laundry or put laundry in the dryer. Of course, they are too young for allowances, so I don't know what we'll decide about that.

By Melanie on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 04:53 pm:

We have some set chores that need to be done daily. I also ask them to "bless the house" each day. This means they have to find something around the house that needs to be done and do it. One almost always chooses to do a load of laundry. They can also sweep, vacuum, dust, take out garbage...whatever they notice needs to be done. I want to get them in the habit of noticing things around the house and then taking care of it themselves.

By Tink on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 10:40 pm:

I really like that "bless the house" idea, Melanie. I guess I have things figured out, chore-wise, but I never trust my own instincts. My oldest dd has friends that have chores I would never expect her to do, like mowing the lawn or cleaning out the fridge. Some of that may be my own perfectionism, though. I have trouble not "fixing" the job when they aren't watching.

By Eve on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 07:33 am:

My DD(4) sets the table, including carrying heavy plates and glasses to the tables. She also helps set the food on the table.

She helps me with laundry. I give her small things to fold. I fold the towels, she folds the face cloths. Then, she delivers the laundry to the room it belongs in. She also loves to transfer clothes into the dryer and load up the washer. Her favorite part is adding the detergent! Aggh!

This one is funny--she LOVES to clean the toilet bowl! LOVES it! She also loves the wipe anything down, but as soon as she sees dirt on it, she quits all bathroom work. She also empties the small bathroom trashes. (I use small bags, so it makes it easy for her to just pull it out.)

She helps load the dishwasher, especially silverware. She also puts the soap tablet in and she presses all the buttons to start it. (With my direction)

When I vacuum, she helps me by holding the cord. I know this is a minor one, but at least she is helping!

Dusting-she loves the new Swiffer duster.

She does help me when I clean out the fridge. She carries the stuff to the trash.

She really does a little bit of everything. It takes me a little longer, but I think it's important for her to feel like she is contributing. (I even let my friends 2 year old help me! My friend didn't approve, but I think it's great when they want to touch, to show them how to really help! LOL!) Now, if DD would be better about picking up her toys, we would be all set! LOL!