It's a good thing I always confirm plans with other parents first. I say this because DS has a new friend who makes plans without asking his parents first. Last weekend he called DS and invited him over. DS asked if he could go, and I said I needed to speak with the mom or dad first. The mom gets on the phone (I know her, but not well) and this is the first she's heard of this play date. LOL! Then she apologizes because she just had surgery and was not feeling up to having kids over. I told her I TOTALLY understood because I have BTDT, and that I was glad I checked first. This same friend did it again last night! He invited DS over to play tomorrow (Sat.), but according to his mom, DS is welcome to come over any day during the week (M-F), whatever day is best for us.

I know kids are kids, but this boy is 12! My kids *know* they must check with me first before setting up plans and inviting friends over. Oh, and I do not allow my kids to play at other people's houses if the parents aren't home.

By Texannie on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 09:22 am:

I never really had that problem with my son, but my daughter and her friends have always tried to make plans on their own (from little). I can remember telling her in elementary school that 'children don't make plans'.
Now that she is a teen, it is a little different, they do make plans but i always double check. it's funny to hear her ask me for permission to do something with a friend and then hear her say 'we are going to tell so and so mom's what we are going to do'. uh, what? you don't tell a mom what you are going to do, you ASK!
i always double check to see whether or not the parents know what the plans are, but once my kids hit middle school, i was a little more flexible about whether or not the parent had to be home. (i guess because more and more of my friends went back to work the older the kids got, me included)

By Karen~admin on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - 05:41 pm:

My kids *know* they must check with me first before setting up plans and inviting friends over. Oh, and I do not allow my kids to play at other people's houses if the parents aren't home.

Those are rules to live by!!! :-)

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 05:35 pm:

My boys knew the rule, but were still a bit impulsive. So I introduced the rule that if they jump the gun without asking first, the answer was an automatic NO. That broke a lot of it.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, July 3, 2008 - 12:32 am:

I have the same rule.. IF anyone is not properly asked, (DH, myself, or the other parents), then the answer is automatically NO. If they beg, or try to play either side to get their way, the answer is NO.

I am pretty strict when it comes to our house rules. The older kids talk about how glad they are that we had the rules because they see the outcome of no or lacking rules in the lives of their friends.

Too many of their friends didn't have rules, and their home lives are/were chaos. Many of those kids are now "adults" and still live chaotic lives. So, rules are a good thing.