Just a question as a young mother and my little girl is starting to grow up and wanting to sleep over at her friends house and wanting her friends to sleep over at her house...

So what age does it start to matter that they are different genders? My dd (3 1/2) slept over at her friends house (across the yard) the other night and he is a 3 1/2 year old little boy. His mommie slept in the livingroom on the couch and made a pallet in the floor for them and they watched T.V. until they went to sleep. But I am sitting at home thinking, Is this okay? Is she too old to sleep at a boys house? He slept over here last night and I didn't worry as much (possibly because I was able to monitor everything) but anyway, I just wonder what the general rule of thumb is. BTW, he has no older siblings only a 1 year old little brother.

By Emily7 on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 11:52 pm:

I haven't had to deal with this but for me I would say when they start noticing the differences between them & become curious.

By Kernkate on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 12:10 am:

I have never dealth with this question. DS who is 10 always had sleep overs with his friends,who of course are boys, at his age girls are EWWWW...LOL and DD whos is 4 hasn't been at a sleep over yet, Now on the other hand I have to deal with DS who is 19 And at college.
At DD age 4 right now I don't think I would have a problem if she had a little boy "friend" sleeping over.
So I guess I haven't answered the question and really not sure on the answer.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 07:30 am:

I'd say things are fine while they are that young. Certainly by age 8 or so though, I'd stop it. *They* probably won't have any interest in it long before that. But at this age, there is nothing wrong with it.

The problem *I* ran into was parents of Jen's friends not wanting to let their little girls sleep over because Jen had a BROTHER. At first it really upset me, then I stepped back and realized that if *I* knew nothing about an older brother (only a year older, but older just the same!) at a friend's house, I would be concerned too!

By Imamommyx4 on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 04:20 pm:

I'm not sure at what age I'd stop it, but 3 1/2 is not it. Another couple of years is probably ok and as long as all stays innocent. I don't think I'd let my dd sleepover with a boy just because she is too fascinated with body parts right now. But if I did let her particpate in a sleepover, i would want it at my home.

Now a definite no-no...my 19 year old ds was invited to a co-ed sleepover party at a girl's house at Halloween. She was 17. Since he is still living at mt house, dh and I had the final absolutely not on that one.

By Juli4 on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 05:25 pm:

I was in karate for years and we would have blackbelt lock ins. All the blackbelts would get together with food and movies and such and stay at the karate school. We also had one over at someones house. They were tons of fun and nothing inappropriate happened at all. I did this until I was 14 or 15. I guess it depends on the situation. I would probably not let my girls.

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 10:59 pm:

I didn't have any co-ed sleepovers with friends, but I often had my cousin who is 10 months younger than me sleep over. I guess it's different since he was family, but he and I grew up together (he has 3 younger siblings too), and continued sleepovers until our pre-teens. I'll face your dilemma soon, since I have boy/girl twins, and we haven't yet decided how to handle it.