My ds is 5 and I am constantly having to remind him to do things over and over again. I know that he is pretty responsible at preschool, and so I really believe he just tunes out at home since he thinks I will do it for him. I want him to learn that he has certain responsibilities and that I won't do it for him, and so I don't. Instead, I ask him, "what have you forgotten to do?" for example, when he forgets to do something such as taking off his socks and leaving it on the middle of the living room floor. He'll then say "oh yeah I forgot" and proceed to pick it up and put it in the hamper. I'll also ask him to brush his teeth to get ready for bed, but then he'll get distracted and start playing and it will take a few more reminders from me before he starts brushing his teeth. I really want him to think for himself and initiate things on his own without my having to remind him constantly. I was just curious as to what everyone did or does to instill these qualities of independence and sense of responsiblity in their homes. And is it normal for him to get distracted so frequently?

By Clarabel on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 10:59 pm:

We are not at that stage yet,still terrible two's,but I think it's pretty normal behavior for boys.They are busy and want to play.Keeping things tidy or practicing oral hygenine are just not priorities.You have to be constantly on them it seems to keep any order.One day they may form habits because of it, or they may not, depending on their own personal character.
Mine will tell me if he sees something on the floor that looks like trash, a wrapper or a piece of paper and he likes to put it in the bin.He is starting to put his empty sippy in the sink, things like that.But he does it when he feels like it.Tonight he knocked a water bottle off the table and I asked him to pick it up and put it back three times and finally threatened him with a time out and then he did it.It is like constant vigilance-so exhausting. I think it's great that you want him to think for himself and initiate things on his own. I have to constantly remind my dh to do things too, like take the trash and recycling out or it doesn't get done.His mother did EVERYTHING for him so I've had to do a little "re-training" LOL.
I don't really have a solution but I don't think there is anything wrong with your ds, just normal kid stuff.

By Dana on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 12:23 am:

You just described my daughter. We've been dealing w/ this for a while, but it is really bad at age 7. Makes me want to scream.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 06:36 am:

Sounds absolutely normal to me! My kids are 6 & 8.

By Jann on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 07:24 am:

Yep, totally normal. And my kids still do it! LOL

By Colette on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 07:58 am:

sounds like my 12yr old ds!!

By Cat on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 09:35 am:

I was just telling dh yesterday that most of my daycare kids (specifically one 6yo and the two 3yos) have the attention spans of fish. I feel your pain. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 09:41 am:

Dd isn't quite as bad as the boys were but it is so normal. I've read somewhere that most children's attention span in minutes is equivlent to their age in years. So a 2 year old has a 2 minute attention span. I don't think my boys ever did make it into double digits though. LOL. The only time their attention is ever very long is when it is on soemthing that they want it to be on.

By Kay on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 02:54 pm:

I'll share something that my FIL's Alzheimer's specialist told us. In dealing with such forgetfulness, even in children, it's best to give commands only one at a time, so instead of telling them to pick up their toys and put their clothes away, you tell them to pick up their toys, and when it's done tell them to put their clothes away.

This is off the topic of children's behavior really, but she also stressed that when one is reminded that he/she has forgotten, it only adds to the stress and frustration. (Example: "Don't you remember? I told you to, etc.....)

By Tklinreston on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 06:25 pm:

Well, I feel better to know that this is very normal. He's my first, so I'm still learning. Your responses made me chuckle, especially Clarabel's comment about her dh. That describes my dh, too. So, it seems I will have to just continue reminding him or asking him to do things and hopefully, it will become habit forming for him "someday". If anyone comes up with a special way to deal with this problem, please let us all know! Thanks, guys!

By Tink on Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 12:07 pm:

This won't work for remembering the occasional requests but, for our routines, like getting ready for school, after school times, and bedtimes, I made up little books for my kids. I used a small photo album and wrote each step on a 3x5 card then my kids cut out pictures from magazines that were a symbol of that step so my pre-readers knew what each page meant. Our bedtime book has pick out pajamas (with a photo of a girl in pj's) on the first page, bathtime (with a pic of a tub), dry off (towel), put on pjs (a child getting dressed), put clothes in the laundry hamper (hamper), brush teeth (toothbrush), go potty (toilet), wash hands (soap), and pick out a book (book shelf). Now I just tell my kids to get out the "Bedtime Book" or the "Schoolday book" and they follow their routine page by page. I don't know if this would help you but it made some of our most stressful times a little easier.