Brendan's asked me several times "why his daddy isn't the baby's daddy and why CAN'T his daddy be the baby's daddy?" and I've floundered everytime. It's even harder now that it's looking like the father isn't going to be in the picture, how do I answer this?

I've explained to him that his daddy and I are friends and HIS parents but not going to have another baby together, he has a girlfriend (they live together, Brendan adores her, they've been together 2 years now). I've explained that they will have the same mommy and that's what matters but yet he still asks.

Any suggestions?

By Kaye on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 07:45 pm:

Honestly I would take the easy way out of this if I could! I would probably go with God just makes each family the way He sees fit. Or something very vague and refernce God has a plan and we just have to acccept it

The reality is, one day he will figure it out. He is not old enough to comprehend fully love and sex and it just isn't important that he get that at this age. At some point you will say, well I was engaged to baby twos father and this was a big suprise and then he just wasn't able to be man enough to be a daddy.

By Reds9298 on Friday, June 13, 2008 - 04:19 pm:

Ditto Kaye!! Good answer.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, June 13, 2008 - 11:00 pm:

Agree, simple answers. God always has a plan and he wanted you and Brendan to have this baby together because he knew the two of you have a special love to share with the new baby. When the time is right, and in his plan, God will bring a daddy into your life.

Do you think he is questioning because he is worried the baby won't have a daddy? Might be causing him to question if/why he could share his dad? At his age I am sure he doesn't understand about sex and conception, so he is likely in the mind of it being a choice to be the mom and the dad, and why can't you and dad share the baby like you share him? Might be time to give a basic, where babies come from talk.

How much does he know about the split up? Do you think he gets the fact that the ex is the babies daddy?

By Dramamamma on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 03:08 pm:

Thanks Ladies, as for now he's quit asking so I'll just go with that. We went for an ultrasound yesterday and looks like we'll be buying BLUE... Here lately when we talk about the baby I talk about it in terms of "our" baby meaning mine and B's, I'm trying to let him be as involved as possible in it all.

Bobbie, he knows very little about the split up, basically mommmy made some not very good decisions and now I've fixed things for the both of us. I think he DOES get the fact that ex is the daddy but knows HIS is much better so.....

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - 04:20 pm:

I think this would be a common issue, question, with a younger child. I am sure he thinks being a parent is a choice, not a biological situation. He loves his step mom, she accepts him and loves him. Why can't his dad be the babies daddy and love the baby? You see what I am saying??

BLUE You need to go to general board and make a post.... That way everyone sees it, some don't come to parenting board but all go to general...

(((BIG HUGS))) I am sure this is all over whelming, you know you are in all of our prayers... Everything is going to work out the way it is intended to, it always does.. More (((HUGS)))