Please tell me it's just a phase

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2005: Please tell me it's just a phase

Lately, Rylee wants nothing to do with me.

On Saturday, she would not listen to me at all, and when I picked her up, she would throw her back and want down, and only listen to Chris and want to be held by him.

Yesterday, she didn't want anything to do with me either. She sat and played with Chris, and wouldn't come near me, unless she was tired and wanted to go to bed. My SIL came over yesterday, and we went to get a pedicure, and I told Rylee Bye-Bye, and she wouldn't give me a kiss and kept holding on to my SIL's legs and when my SIL walked out the door, Rylee started to cry. Usually she cries if I leave, but she seemed to care less. I thought when I got home things would change, but nope.

What is going on? Please tell me that this is a phase and it will go away. She used to be such a Mommy's Girl.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 09:38 am:

It's just a phase. And, one of the many to come! Don't take it personally. IMO, it's actually a healthy step of separation, and the less of a deal you make of it, the shorter it will last. Of course, she still has to do what you say or face consequences, just don't get emotional with her about it. Believe me, she will find enough of your "buttons" to push without you giving her one! (((Hugs)))

By Trina~moderator on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 09:44 am:

Ditto Happynerdmom!

By Clarabel on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 12:18 pm:

All the little phases...Freedom went through a giving hugs and kisses stage and then he stopped and didn't even want to say bye- bye when I left the house. I was so hurt! I thought the kisses were gone forever.But now he is a little huggy bear again and loves to give kisses and "nose kisses".
Everything keeps changing.It's just as Happynerdmom said, she is testing her independence, very healthy.

By Rayanne on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 12:53 pm:

Healthy for her, but heart breaking for me.

I'm glad to see that it is just a phase...thank goodness.

By Kay on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 04:10 pm:

Don't worry - she's just practicing being a teenager! LOL

By Babysitbarb on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 08:54 pm:

I have to agree with Kay! LOL

By Annie2 on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 10:01 pm:

I would have to agree with Kay if she is throwing in an "eye roll" or two! LOL

By Marcia on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 10:38 pm:

Oh man, I am so right there with the teenage thing!! Nicole's 12, rolls her eyes at me all the time, and acts like I'm enemy #1! She's always been my most independent one, but has a major attitude to go with that now!
Hang in there. I'm sure the 20's will be better. LOL

By Kay on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 12:16 pm:

OH - MY - GOODNESS!! Don't you just HATE that eyeroll!!!!

And it's usually accompanied by that sound that bursts from the throat, resembling a grunt. LOL

By My2cuties on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 02:09 pm:

Oh no! you mean I have to look forward to the eye rolling for a whole lot longer?!, Katelyn is only 3 1/2 and I get the eye roll and big grunt all the time when things don't go her way.

For my girls this is how it went: Katelyn was a mommy's girl until she was 2. At that point when daddy would leave it was not a big deal she would say goodbye and we would play. After 2 she thought the world had fallen apart when her daddy would leave she would stand at the door and cry and cry and cry. Then she got a little older and around 3 she realized he doesn't leave forever and although she still misses him she is content to be with me. Hailey is following in the same path. But move over mom when dad comes home!!! I love it though, at one point we almost decided that Will needed to be a sahd and I needed to go to work...lol, that never worked out though.

You'll get through it. And I believe I heard that little girls that have a good relationship with their daddy's have a good relationship with their husbands in the future so that is REALLY good!

By Rayanne on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 03:53 pm:

My little girl is all lovey to me again!!!!!
I hope she doesn't go back to how she was acting.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 04:28 pm:

Rayanne, count on it. Sad but true. After awhile you learn not to take it personally. Don't get me wrong, it still hurts, but not as much. Ahhh, motherhood. {{{HUGS}}}

By Kay on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 01:30 pm:

And usually, the behavior comes coincidentally at the same time you're suffering from PMS. LOL

By Rayanne on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 05:13 pm:

OMG, Kay. That is so true, because I just started this week, so when she was acting that way towards me, I was PMSing. How funny.

By Kay on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 08:30 pm:

And not only that, Rayanne, but your cycles will most likely run together. It happens that way with friends, with co-workers, why not mothers and daughters? At least maybe it will just be unbearable for anyone living near you for only a week a month, total. LOL