My dd is 13 months and I have been weaning her off the breast. She is now down to bf only at bedtime. While she is taking it all in stride, I am heartbroken and not ready to give it up. I am happy to just keep nursing her at bedtime except that dh and I are going on a vacation (first time away from dd) for 10 days. I am thinking that with only one feeding per day, then stopping for 10 days my milk supply will be non-existent when I get back, and dd will be effectively weaned.

My problem? I just don't feel ready to quit, I cry every time I think of it. I really don't see packing the old breastpump as an option (we are going to the jungle in Costa Rica), so I guess this is really more of an I'm sad rant then a question. How did you guys deal with weaning your children? Did anyone else wean even though they really didn't feel ready?

By Missmudd on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 01:13 pm:

Yea, my last one just decided he really didnt want to nurse anymore at about 15 mo, and since he was my last one it was sad. When you return from your trip you can always try to nurse, I had some residual milk for many months after ds stopped nursing and it may actually come back in if she nurses. Other than that hugs to you, dont let it ruin your vacation. It is hard but you get over it too.

By Sunny on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 01:36 pm:

I doubt your milk supply will "dry up" after ten days, but if you want, you can continue to stimulate the breast manually while on vacation to continue to produce milk. (There are other ways to stimulate the breast without a pump, but I'll let you figure that out yourself. )
I was sad after I weaned all my kids - part of it I believe is hormones, but a bigger part was knowing that a special time between my kids and me was coming to an end. I had to find other ways to keep up that closeness (all my kids slept with us until they were two years old, so that helped.) (((hugs)))
Don't give it up yet unless both of you are truly ready!

By Kaye on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 03:17 pm:

I would just wait and see what happens. She may be ready to bf, but she may not. I wasn't sad when I quit, i was more than ready..LOL. But I know that I had milk for a LONG time after that, so I don't think 10 days will dry you up completely.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 04:28 pm:

My dd stopped bf just before Easter & I still have ample supply of milk. If your dd & you aren't ready then don't quit, my ped just recommends that they are weaned by 15 months old because of their teeth.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 04:35 pm:

I wasn't ready, but I had no choice since my milk supply just stopped. I feel like I got jipped, and am hoping that it lasts longer with the next one. I can understand how you feel, but if you are not ready, then don't stop. It's a wonderful feeling having that closeness with your child, and if I could have gone longer, I would have. Mine stopped around 2 months after she was born.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 04:55 pm:

Rayanne, that same thing happened to me, but at about 6 months with each one. I was soooo sad and cried a lot both times. I sure would have liked to have done it longer, but I'm glad I did as long as I did.

By Kaye on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 06:11 pm:

Rayanne, I highly suggest when you are close to having number 2 that you go to a breast feeding class through la leche. If you tell them your issue then they can usually help you thorugh it before it becomes an issue. There is a small percent of ladies who physically just can't breastfeed successfuly, but most of breast feeding issues really stem from a lack of knowledge. I had issues bf my first and chose not to with my 2nd, but by time my 3rd got here i was determined and really did a LOT of research and we very successfully breastfed and after learning so much more realize my first experience could have been so much better.

By Frasersmama on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 06:33 pm:

Emily7
>> my ped just recommends that they are weaned by 15 months old because of their teeth<<<
I have never heard that, why is that? I had heard that they should be weaned off the bottle by that age for their teeth, but not from the breast since it is a completely different type of sucking.

Thanks for the support everyone, my dh tries but really can't understand how hard it is for me.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 06:36 pm:

I think some had to do with me getting on the pill too. It is the birthcontrol pill that you can take while you are breastfeeding, which I will not take next time. I never knew that it could cut down your supply or make it stop until after it happened and someone told me. I will look into a La Leche when it is time. Thanks Kaye.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 10:39 am:

I was told the same thing by the WIC nutritionist as well. I think it was because it coats the teeth & can cause tooth decay. It is the same reason that you are supposed to just put water in a sippy if you are going to let them walk around with one or leave it in the crib at night.
Since I was told this by 2 different people I never questioned it.

By Clarabel on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 12:03 pm:

I am so jealous you're going to Costa Rica !

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 12:09 pm:

My girlfriend nursed her youngest child, until she was 2-1/2. She is almost 14 now, and her teeth look fine and she has never had any problems with them.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 12:19 pm:

I don't agree with the whole stop because it rots their teeth. Anything she eats or drinks will do that, that is why I brush her teeth twice/day, including after her last bedtme nursing.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 12:59 pm:

That is your opinion & your choice. I chose to listen to what the professionals told me because I had one cousin that had horrible bottle rot & had a mouth full of silver until they fell out to make room for permanent teeth. I had a nephew who's mom was very adamant about teeth brushing & still ended up with tooth decay.
I breast fed up until the day before she turned 15 months old & I feel good about my choice to stop & she didn't protest either. She was eating solid food, drinking out of a sipper & drank milk just fine.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 01:05 pm:

Emily - the problem is that the breast doesn't work like a bottle and breastmilk is almost as harmless as that water.

Here's a really good article on tooth decay in babies and nighttime nursing...

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/tooth-decay.html

Basically, a lot of the thinking surrounding BM causing tooth decay is out of date and comes from not understanding what's in it and how it actually works. The pediatric dentist who pulled my sons four top, front teeth when he was 2 and capped his molars told me to cut out the nighttime nursing. She did say something about bacteria and admited his defective enamel might have played some role but basically thought it was the nursing.

Medical profesionals are notoriously underinformed, even ignorant, about breastfeeding so question it anytime one dissuades nursing. Turn on your computer and start researching and come back to the next appointment armed with articles and studies. A good doctor will look them over and consider them.

And this is a really common mistake health proffessionals make so don't be surprised if you have half a dozen telling you the same thing. They often don't have time to keep up on every aspect of medicine, esp. breastfeeding. My rule of thumb is that anytime someone says you may need to stop nursing, start researching. It's very likely they're dead wrong.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 01:10 pm:

I didn't mean to undermine your decision, I just mean it doesn't make sense to me to stop breastfeeding because whether she drinks from the breast or cow's milk from a sippy cup, she is still going to get milk on her teeth. I have never nursed her to sleep and she has never gone to bed with a cup (I have never used bottles). I think the issue is children who go to sleep with a bottle or cup of milk or juice, or who are nursed to sleep and the milk pools around their teeth. My dd nurses, then we have some cuddle time, brush her teeth, and then off to bed. Regardless of whether I breastfeed. I will still be feeding her, her teeth will still be exposed to sugar from food, juice or milk, just like every adult. The only way to protect teeth is to keep them clean, brush after meals and before bed, which we do.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 01:20 pm:

I wholeheartedly agree with Unschoolmom. I am a medical professional myself (RN), and I know that you should ALWAYS question information you are given, regardless of the source. Bottom line: this is YOUR child and you are the one making the decisions and living with the consequences. We owe it to ourselves and our children to be well-informed. My philosophy, listen to your physician, nutritionist, dentist. Question their reasoning and rationale. Then do your own research and if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. I do the same thing with this message board. I listen to everyone, take it all in, do my own research, and then decide what I feel is right for me and my family. When I disagree with something someone says on here, it isn't because I haven't taken the time to consider it, and I respect that everyone's family is different, and what is right for me is not what is right for everyone. That's my rant.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 01:59 pm:

Frasersmom, weaning is a bitter sweet time. I remember the feeling, especially with my youngest because I knew she was most likely our last baby. Truth is, if your DD is already down to just the bedtime nursing, regardless of taking your trip or not, her BF days are numbered. Pulls at our mommy heart strings but we can't stop them from growing up. {{{HUGS}}}

FWIW, here are the current AAP recommendations regarding breastfeeding:
Taken from KeepKidsHealthy.com

The AAP still recommends that 'breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.'

They did go a step further this time though, in saying that 'there is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.' That is good news for mothers who want to breastfeed their toddlers.

From my own personal experience, as a mom and nationally certified CPS Tech, I've learned not all pediatricians are aware of current child passenger safety recommendations. You would think they *should* know this stuff but many don't. I've met several parents who've turned their infants forward facing before 12 mos. of age because their ped. told them it was "OK". Yikes!

By Emily7 on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 02:00 pm:

I made the best decision for myself & my dd. The ped I took the advice from saved my ds's life more than once. She talked me into trying to bf my dd after the horrible experience I had with my ds. She talked me into bf longer than 6 months, it is not like she had an ulterior motive for giving her opinion. My dd & I were ready to stop anyway otherwise I would have researched a little more than just to read the handouts WIC gave me.
I do question most everything that has to do with my children, when you have to deal with a child in the NICU, you learn that quickly.
I just didn't appreciate being made like the choice I made was wrong...it was right for us.
There is always going to be new info out that is going to suggest that something is right one day & wrong the next. You just have to do what you think is right for your family.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 02:17 pm:

Emily7
I certainly didn't mean to imply that I thought you made the wrong choice. I only meant that I don't necessarily agree with the statement that breastfeeding beyond a certain age is harmful to a child's teeth. It was not a personal attack or comment on your choice, I just happen to disagree with that one particular statement. I do appreciate you commenting on my original statement and being supportive when I needed a little pick-me-up. Thanks to all of you.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 04:27 pm:

Emily - Ditto Karen. I'm not questioning your choices, just wanted to put some information out there for moms who are told the same things that you and I were.

It's not an issue of blame or being at fault. We're moms with a lot on the ball and they're doctors and nurses who have a staggering amount of information to keep on top of.

But a lot of moms read these message boards and probably some will hear the same thing we did about night nursing. I didn't want them to think they had to break off a valuable practice or feel the guilt I did because they were made to think they were the cause of their child's pain. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time. I just want to make sure the moms here have the best information.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 04:32 pm:

Karen - From what I've read milk doesn't pool when a child is nursed. Milk is delivered from the nipple to the back of the mouth and when the child stops nursing, there's no more milk (unlike a bottle that would leak).

It never made sense to me that breastfeeding would account for my son's rotten front teeth when I knew that the nipple, nevermind the milk, was near the middle of his mouth as he nursed. I think that's why I looked into the issue more.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 04:33 pm:

BFing is just a touchy subject for me, because of my first child. I pumped for so long because he wouldn't latch on & then I couldn't do it anymore. By the time I had used up my frozen milk supply up I was dried up & then we found out he was allergic to every kind of formula there was. I realize that no one was calling me a bad mom or anything like that, it just brought up old feelings for me.

I apologize for taking your comments wrong.

By Amecmom on Thursday, April 21, 2005 - 09:56 am:

I have a question from an non-BF mama. If you don't pump on your vacation, won't you become engorged and really uncomfortable? Not exactly how you want to feel in the jungles of Costa Rica...
Just curious ...
Ame

By Unschoolmom on Thursday, April 21, 2005 - 10:07 am:

No prob. Emily. It's a tough subject because so many emotions get wrapped up in it.

Ame - Probably not. Once your baby is 15 mos. you're simply not producing milk like you used too. I remember getting engorged when my daughter was a couple of months from just going out for 4-5 hours for dinner and a movie. Once my kids started on solid food the leaking (oh the leaking) and crazy production cut way back.

By Frasersmama on Thursday, April 21, 2005 - 11:02 am:

I haven't gotten engorged in ages, especially now that I am down to only bf at bedtime. That would be horrific though, in the sweaty jungle engorged and leaking. To top it all of, I will be having my period at the same time (poor planning on my part). Ain't life grand!

By Amecmom on Thursday, April 21, 2005 - 02:13 pm:

Thanks. I didn't know if your natural weaning / let down was as awful as your milk coming in.
Ame