my ds is 5,almost 6 and I'm not sure if he has an atiitude problem i'm not addressing properly or what. He's never talked much about school, not even preschool and now he's saying things like " i'm dumb in math" or i wish i could go back to pre-k. i asked him if kindergarten was geeting harder and he wouldn't talk to me about it anymore. I don't know how to "make" him talk to me. he is really smart too, one of the brightest the teacher says. The school stuff is a recent development though. I have to tell him something 10 times before he'll listen and punishments like time out and less privileges aren't working anymore. dh and i are making sure we're paying good attention to him, positive reinforcement etc. dh worked a temporary job with crazy hours and then so did I for a short time so maybe that has something to do with it. I can never get him excited about anything either. when I say for example "on sat. we'll go to the movies" or some other treat he says he doesn't want to do that instead of being excited about almost anything. It's almost like depression but he is young. I just wondered if anyone thought this was an age thing something else. thanks

By Emily7 on Friday, April 8, 2005 - 07:12 pm:

Has he had a friend move away? Is he being bullied at school? Is he just to bored at school?
My dk's are not school age, so I don't have any advice, except maybe voice your concerns to the teacher. Maybe she is noticing something too or can suggest something.

By Tink on Friday, April 8, 2005 - 07:15 pm:

I think some of it may be an age thing. My dd did this at the end of Kindy and now my son is saying similar things. I don't understand it but both of my kids did it for a couple of months and my dd just snapped out of it. Maybe others will have more advice.

By Amecmom on Friday, April 8, 2005 - 07:18 pm:

You can see depression even in babies. I'm not saying that's what it is, but talk to your child's ped. about your concerns. It really does sound like something is bothering him. He could be smart in school, but finding some things hard. It sounds like more than just school, though. Ditto, Emily, talk to the teacher as well.
Good luck.
Ame

By Coopaveryben on Friday, April 8, 2005 - 07:36 pm:

I think some of it is an age thing. I am not saying this is your son but mine tried the "nobody likes me" "I'm so dumb", etc. because he found it got him special attention. Well the rule around here now is we don't talk about anyone else or OURSELVES that way. He is welcome to come and talk to me about anything but he is not permitted to call himself names. It reminds me of the story of the man who took his son up a high mountain to a place called "echo point" and had his son yell "your stupid" and of course the mountains echoed it back. Then he had him yell "your wonderful" and the mountains echoed it back...the point is we need to be careful what we say to ourselves because it will be echoed back. Be careful of the self-fullfilling prophecy, whatever you tell your children they are or whatever they say about themselves they take ownership of it and become that.

If it makes you feel any bettre I found 4 and 5 to be the hardest ages in my son and neice..I still have 2 more to go we'll see if that holds true but I really thing it is a stage.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, April 9, 2005 - 07:49 am:

I have no idea, but I will say that this sounds a lot like my youngest son. He is now an adult and has suffered from severe depression diagnosed in his early 20s and probably present long before then. I really, really wish I had taken him for counseling to have this problem identified much, much earlier, as I think intervention and counseling at an early age would have helped and would have made his childhood much less troublesome.

I don't know if this applies to your son, but I would suggest a thorough physical checkup, a conversation with his teacher to find out what his school behavior is like and a talk with the school counselor. It can't hurt to rule out any physical reasons and to find out what he is like at school. You might then, if the counselor thinks it may be a good idea, talk to the ped again about considering some kind of counseling intervention for him if it seems appropriate

By Mommmie on Saturday, April 9, 2005 - 02:29 pm:

I would also be thinking about a learning disability evaluation. Bright kids struggling in school and calling themselves stupid is often the first clue of dyslexia or some other LD.

By Meltonmom on Saturday, April 9, 2005 - 08:12 pm:

I am sorry to keep recommending this same book (tee hee) but I promise you it really DID help me. It is called "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and there are some chapters on what she calls "the more intense" child and the "negative first reaction" child. It also covers children who are just more critical of their surroudings and who find it hard to relax and enjoy.

My oldest child is a Spirited, Intellectually Gifted child and I still refer to this book often. It has really helped our family. You might want to get it. MeltonMom