How many of you are in playgroups? I would like for 9mth old dd to be around other children but not sure how. We have signed up for the story hour at the local library but she is always napping during that time so we can't make it. I have some 'friends' that have a playgroup that I have been invited to, but currently (since it's cold outside, I'm in IN) they meet on a rotation basis at each other's homes. I feel with them that it's a popularity contest. I don't want to worry about what my house looks like,whose kids are going to tear up dd's toys,all the germs in my house at once, and serving snacks! Am I being anal? Is that just the way playgroups are? Those of you who are in playgroups do you meet at homes? Am I being picky? If these were closer friends none of that would matter to me, but they're not close friends. I told dh I'm about to break down and just join them but I really don't want to, just don't feel I have any other options and it's important for dd to be with other children since she will most likely NEVER be in daycare or at a babysitter's. (She saw another baby at the mall today and they locked eyes like 'Yay! Another one like me!' So funny!)

By Heaventree on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:20 pm:

The best play group we go to is organized by our provincial government. It is drop in. When went to another in which you had to pre-register and the facilitator always made us feel guilty if we missed a week. Both groups are free.

It is really hard to get out especially for us as DS still has two naps a day. Our drop-in play group is on Thursday at 11:00 am. I try to put DS down for his nap early on that day, by 9:30 if possible. This way he gets a full hour and we can still make the group, otherwise we don't go. I try not to mess too much with his naps for play groups as there always seems to be some appointment or commitment throughout the week or the weekend and he sometimes misses a nap here and there.

Play groups are fun for both of you, however, I find that the children in our group don't interact that much with each other. They are more interested in all the different toys.

The best play solution I have found is to have my neighbour who has a child three weeks younger than mine come over and play for a few hours every once in a while. Perhaps there is one mom you could approach who would be willing to do this with you?

By Heaventree on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:20 pm:

The best play group we go to is organized by our provincial government. It is drop in. When went to another in which you had to pre-register and the facilitator always made us feel guilty if we missed a week. Both groups are free.

It is really hard to get out especially for us as DS still has two naps a day. Our drop-in play group is on Thursday at 11:00 am. I try to put DS down for his nap early on that day, by 9:30 if possible. This way he gets a full hour and we can still make the group, otherwise we don't go. I try not to mess too much with his naps for play groups as there always seems to be some appointment or commitment throughout the week or the weekend and he sometimes misses a nap here and there.

Play groups are fun for both of you, however, I find that the children in our group don't interact that much with each other. They are more interested in all the different toys.

The best play solution I have found is to have my neighbour who has a child three weeks younger than mine come over and play for a few hours every once in a while. Perhaps there is one mom you could approach who would be willing to do this with you?

By Shazwill on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:47 pm:

I agree with H/Tree (sorry for the abbrv)that babies this age tend to be more interested in all the new toys (wow.. so is Mum by the way) then with the other kids. But I also notice that some of the babies like 'feeling' the other up. Although vigilace is required so that prying fingers dont cause damage to eyes and mouths.. it is really quite cute to watch.
I too am not that close to the ladies but you do tend to develop a bond after awhile even if it is only based on the babies. My 10.5DD loves it there though and it tires her out so she has a real good nap when we get home. I think as you get more familiar with the people in the grp it gets easier and I wouldnt worry what they think abt your place. You might be surprised to find out that some of them actually find it comfy.
Hope this helps somewhat.

By Kaye on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:55 pm:

Honestly playgroups aren't a huge deal until about 18 months...BUT they are hard to come by. I did a playgroup where we alternated houses, it was nice. It is really all about the hostess, if your house is kid friendly and you aren't stressing about everything it is a great time. But if you are constantly corraling everyone it can be hard for everyone. When it warms up I woudl sugget occasionally meeting at a park, etc, the downfall with that is you really don't get a chance to visit with the other moms. And just as important as it is for your little one to be with other kids, it is important for you to talk with other moms about kids, this way you keep a better eye on milestones, speech, etc.

By Debbie on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 09:56 pm:

I am not in a playgroup now, but I was when my dks were younger. I was involved with one through our church. It was great. We met one morning a week in the church nursery. Do you have any Mom's groups in your area? I was also involved in a playgroup through one of the Mom's groups in my area. It ended up not working out for me because, at the time, I was the only one with a toddler and an infant. They met at times that really ended up not fitting into my schedule. You could always attend one of your friends playgroups and see what you think. It may end up being something that you really enjoy. If not, then tell your friend that it is just not working out for you. Also, I made some great friends at Gymboree. I don't know if you have anything like this or kindermusic in your area. You can pick the time that fits into your schedule. I really clicked with two of the other mom's and we became great friends. We eventually ended up meeting outside of Gymboree. We would scrapebook or just talk while our dks played together.

By Feonad on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 06:25 am:

I would force myself to join the play group. You might enjoy it. I would NOT force myself to stay in the play group if I hated it. If you don't enjoy it drop out.

Do not worry about them coming to your house. Just let them come and enjoy yourself.

By Katiesmommy on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 08:35 am:

My dd is 9 months old and we joined a playgroup 3 months ago. I went once. I am anal like you (if you want to call it that), the other kids were more aggressive than my Katie, and I too worried about germs on the toys, etc. But, like you, she isn't in daycare, I am a SAHM and she only has me to play with. My dd still takes 2 naps a day and is sleeping during the 11:00am meeting time. So, I do not ruin her schedule just to go to playgroup. We also rotate houses, but I told them up front my home is not baby proofed yet and I don't have toys for the older kids. They are not a peer pressure group, but I am by far the oldest mom there which makes me feel sort of out of it. I am 36 and the other mom's are in their young 20's. I know how you feel, just try it and see how it goes. Our babies are sheltered with just having us, so it would be good to get out and try it (your baby's schedule permitting). I am new to the area we live in and have no friends or family around, so this is my only option. I haven't braved trying out a church yet...again, Katie's scehdule..she is asleep at that time.
Amy

By Fraggle on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 09:07 am:

When my oldest was 6 months we joined Gymboree. I liked it because we met new people and everything was kept pretty clean. Toys that were mouthed were put in the dishwasher. When she got old enough to enjoy story time at the library we switched to that. We never participated in any other play groups and she never went to pre-school or day care and she has turned out just fine. She is now five and in kindergarten and she is very social and loves school. If you don't feel comfortable participating in this group, then I would just wait. As she gets older her nap schedule will change and then try the library. Or like some others said, sign up for Gymboree or Kindermusic. Another place to look is the community rec dept. Find something that works for you

By Boxzgrl on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 09:35 am:

Kaitlyn has been going to a playgroup for about 6 months now. It's one held at the community center here on base every Thursday from 9-10:30. She LOVES it. We have done the personal playgroups that are just held at people houses but I never volunteered to do it. I dont think its a popularity contest but I just dont feel like cleaning my house and having it presentable for people to come over, then have the kids mess it up and have DD get stingy with her favorite toys, and having to serve snacks and drinks on top of it all. And I like DD to go to playgroups to get *out* of the house rather than being stuck inside all day.

By Mrsheidi on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 09:44 am:

I'm in a neighborhood playgroup with ladies I am getting to know. There are probably about 20 families, but probably 5-10 come each week. We have it at different ladies' houses on a rotational basis. I feel, that if I'm getting out of the house on a weekly basis and go to other's homes, that I should give up my home for a few hours too. It's nice though, because I only have to open my home up for a few hours every 3 months or so.
I really do enjoy it though. There are ladies there will 3 year olds, kids that are Connor's age, and so I learn so much about the community and things that are offered to kids that I wouldn't normally know about.
I do worry about having kids over at my house because it's not really "kid proof" yet, but the moms really keep an eye on them. And, I told them that it's "BYOT- Bring your own toy" because I just don't have stuff for older kids.
It's also a non-pressured environment. If you don't feel you can go that day, it's no big deal. It's a weekly thing and you come when you can.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 09:49 am:

When DS was an infant I got together weekly with a few moms I met during our birthing class. Our playgroups were very small, friendly and casual. We took turns at our different houses. Loved it but then we moved. I didn't know a soul in our new community but met moms through organized playgroups put on by the local community center and PAT (Parents as Teachers). Although my kids are too old for these playgroups now we still socialize with the kids and families we met through them. It was also nice for them to already know kids in our town when they started school.

Worth looking into to see if there is a chapter in your area:

PAT
They offer free playgroups, parenting education\support and developmental screenings.

Mothers and More

MatchingMoms.org

By Feonad on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 10:07 am:

http://www.motherscenter.org/

By Hlgmom on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 11:18 am:

Mommyandme.com is also worth checking out! We love going to playgroups!

By Boxzgrl on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 11:31 am:

matchingmoms.org is GREAT! I've met a few lovely girls from there!

By Reds9298 on Friday, March 25, 2005 - 11:41 am:

Thanks for your help and support! I think you're right and I should *try* the playgroup I mentioned and see how it goes because I think it would be good for Natalie for sure. Katiesmommy, we sound similar in this playgroup thing! I don't know how often this group meets, so I may only have to share my house every once in a while. It's fair that I have to share my house, too, I just don't want to LOL. They also do lots of trips like the zoo and children's museum (an hour away) that I feel are more family-oriented trips that dh and I would prefer to do with dd together. I guess I can always not go to those things. I'm also going to check out the websites you listed. We do have Kindermusic here, but no Gymboree to my knowledge. We have considered Kindermusic before, but I just felt like it was too expensive when I'm a 'music' person and we have music time everyday together. Now I'm considering it just for the social time. We had also planned to do Swimming when it warms up.