HELP!! We are lost as to what to do next. She will not sleep all the way through the night. She did it from month 2-6 the again month 11-12 and now she is up again 1-2x a night. I have tried just taking her out and rocking her till she falls back asleep but within 30 minutes she is up again. We have tried the CIO but it doesn't work cause she can go forever. We have given her a small bottle but she should not be wanting a bottle anymore during the night. She only takes 1 nap a day and usually only for 1-2 hours at the most. And she is in bed no sooner than 7:15-7:30 and has to get up every morning at 6:30pm. Help!!

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 11:42 am:

Tonya, if you are serious about CIO, unfortunately, you have to last longer than she can. Is it pretty? Nope, but otherwise it doesn't work.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 12:04 pm:

Kittycat_26, from personal experience, I can honestly say CIO is not for every child. Worked great for DS but not DD. We were "serious" but after she cried 8 hrs. straight, two nights in a row, we knew it wasn't going to work with her!

Tonya, could she be teething or have an ear infection? I also found both DK's sleep patterns became disturbed when they reached developmental milestones like pulling up, walking, etc.. Could also be night terrors. Does she have a blanket or special lovey item? Encourage that. If at all possible I would avoid a bottle or rocking her to sleep. Have you tried rubbing her back to settle her? Soft music? Tough, I know!

As a toddler DD had pneumonia and would NOT sleep anywhere but in our bed. Of course she insisted on staying there after she was better. LOL! To get her out of our bed I took down her crib and set up a mattress on the floor. DH and I took turns laying down with her until she fell asleep. Eventually she was able to be tucked in with her special blanket and could sleep all night alone. Woo hoo! It wasn't easy but we survived. Good Luck! I hope Jade is sleeping better soon.

By Tonya on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 12:45 pm:

Trina you are right CIO doesn't work for her because she gets to the point where she makes herself gag and then she is sick so then I have even more of a problem and a mess to clean-up.

She doesn't really have any special thing that she likes to sleep with other than her plug and she has probably 4-5 of them in there. I really don't know what to do.

I go in there and rub her back but she is determined to get a bottle and we are trying to break that now. Night is the only time she gets one now. We are tackling the milk/formula thing first but she still shouldn't be waking up 1-2x a night for a bottle of anything right?

Any other things you ladies can think of would be great! Thanks in advance.

By Rayanne on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 01:17 pm:

You are right Tonya, she should not be waking for a bottle at this age. It could be that she is teething or has an ear infection like Trina said. If you are really concerened, call your ped. and make an appointment to check her ears. I would do cold turkey on the bottle. It will be hard, but she will get used to it.

The only thing that makes Rylee do this is when she is teething. I hope that things get better sweetie.

By Tonya on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 01:38 pm:

We were just in the peds office 2 weeks ago and she was doing this and everything checked out great no ear problems. She is teething but she has her plug and she uses that to naw on most of the time.

She will not go back to sleep without her bottle of formula. Not milk it has to be formula.

ARGH!!!!!

By Kaye on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 01:59 pm:

What I would suggest will take a couple of long nights..LOL. But if you are sure she is not hungry, growth spurts can make them hungry, then I would suggest finding a soft blanket and when she wakes up, rock her, hold her, caresse her with the blanket until she sleeps. You will eventually teach her to like her blankie.

By Jann on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 02:26 pm:

I am not sure if CIO is different from self calmed, but this is what we did. Cry 5 minutes, go pat back, no talk, leave. cry 10 minutes, same thing. Add 5 minutes till child falls asleep.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 02:52 pm:

I can tell you that our pediatrician gave me this advice. No, it is not for everyone and I agree to that but if you give in just once and go to them before they are quieted down, it will go on and on.

Timmy did this to me all the time. Hours would go by and he would make himself get sick. I called our ped because I was worried about this. They explained to me that he learned that by getting sick, I would come into the room. They were right when I sat back and looked at it.

It worked for us. At 2 1/2 he's well adjusted and sleeps like a champ on his own. I gave my advice because no one said that the baby cried for 8 hours. Timmy cried sometimes for an hour or so and that's normal especially if you have a strong-willed child like he is.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 03:37 pm:

I can't believe that child cried for 8 hours! Maybe she is going through a growth spurt and does need the nutrition at night? That doesn't sound right but every kid is different. Is she getting plenty to eat during the day?

I'm a fan of CIO, but I only have one 8 mth dd and it really worked for her. An hour was the longest and that only happened once. I'm sure it doesn't work for every child because nothing does. Have you tried something different in the room, such as lights on but low instead of dark, no blanket vs. blanket (if you use them), is the mattress comfy enough or what about the sheet? My dd has a bad night EVERY time I've put on any crib sheet that wasn't jersey knit cotton - flannel and regular she wakes up all night uncomfortable. Also, I added a Sealy mattress pad when dd was about 2mths old and not sleeping well and she hasn't had trouble since. Just a comfort issue.
So sorry....maybe if she really wants the bottle at night you could cut the amount back each night for a few days (I don't know how much you're giving her) until it's nothing. On the last night give a sippy of water or just a paci? I'm just brainstorming!!! Good luck!

By Amecmom on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 05:31 pm:

Tonya! Hugs to you! My son did the same thing. The problem was reflux, which we thought he'd outgrown. In desparation I gave him a dose of zantac, and he slept like a log!

Also, at seven months or so my son kept waking two or three times a night. The doc found nothing on an exam, but when he did a CBC, my son's white count was elevated. Two nights on antibiotic and he was sleeping through again. We never did find the source of the infection, but it happened twice more.

Talk to the doc. It really could be something they're missing! I think the bottle is more for comfort than nutrition, BTW

Hope you get it solved!

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 08:15 pm:

Deanna, it was my DD who cried for 8 hrs., 2 nights in a row, in fact. Yes, it really happened. DD is strong willed. I'm embarrassed to admit I allowed her to cry for so long but people accused me of being a "softie". I was determined to prove them wrong. I did, but the ultimate lesson I learned was to trust MY mommy instincts and do what I thought was right, regardless of what others said. Would you believe a parent educator said I should have gone for night 3?! Argh!

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 09:17 pm:

Oh Trina, thought it was Tonya's. Strong-willed for sure! I thought my dd screaming at the top of her lungs for an hour was considered strong-willed but I guess I'm just inexperienced I agree with you about trusting your instincts...my parents got on our case for doing CIO and we didn't let up because we thought it was working/would work. I have a sister that thinks I'm the wicked witch of the west, but then again her 2 are heethans.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 09:18 pm:

Also, Tonya, as far as what Kittycat said about lasting longer than the baby does, dh and I high-fived after every night we made it through when we were doing CIO with dd. It WAS hard some nights but it helps to have support. I think it would have been harder if I had an older child that had to listen to the crying also though.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 09:18 pm:

Also, Tonya, as far as what Kittycat said about lasting longer than the baby does, dh and I high-fived after every night we made it through when we were doing CIO with dd. It WAS hard some nights but it helps to have support. I think it would have been harder if I had an older child that had to listen to the crying also though.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 10:16 pm:

Many people don't believe in CIO and I respect their beliefs, especially after my experiences with DD. Doesn't mean their kids will be heathens. I know you didn't mean it that way but wanted to speak up for the non-CIOers. We all have different parenting philosophies. None are wrong, they're just different.

By Maryg on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 06:45 am:

Sorry guys, I am an older mom, what is CIO?

I think since she is teething, the pain might be waking her up. Can you try a little Tylenol? Also, I don't care what Pediatricians say, when my kids teethed, they always ran a slight fever. Ear infections also coincided with teething.

During the day, I would put a frozen apple slice in a wet washcloth and tie it up. They would gnaw on that and it would make their teeth feel better.

Also, I would try just a tiny bit of baby rice cereal mixed with formula at night. My son was a big baby, and formula didn't quite last through the night with him. I would wet a rubber spoon with it, and let him lick/suck some of it off (or I would use a clean finger and dip it in the cereal/formula mix and he would suck it off).

This is old fashioned stuff, so it might not be the thing to do now.

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 07:02 am:

Mary, we're the same age! LOL! CIO is "cry it out".

By Tonya on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 07:58 am:

Well she went to bed last night at 8:30pm she work up at 9pm and screamed for 20 minutes or so. I went in when it started and she was fine, dry and totally full from dinner (we ate late). She fussed for a little while and went to sleep and slept until 5am when Rich left for work so maybe we are over hte hump. Her bedtime bottle was 25% warm formula and 75% milk and she took it so tonight and I am going togo a little bit cooler so she can get use to the cold milk and then we will see. Thanks for the well wishes ladies.

And Trina I know about the strong willed kids Jade went for 6 hours one night before I gave it and went in there.

By Kittycat_26 on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:27 am:

Deanna, we not only used to celebrate when Timmy would finally settle down but I used to call my mom and celebrate with her too. The first night we tried letting Timmy CIO, I was on the phone to my mom crying about it something awful. He just screamed and screamed. It was terrible but slowly he would settle down.

We had to do it again at around 2 years old. Again, CIO seemed to work and very quickly this time. It only took two nights. I didn't get nearly as upset this time because as he was yelling for me you could hear his voice go through changes. He went from hysterical to Upset to mad that I wouldn't let him out.

For you Tonya, I hope it is just a phase and one night SOON Jade will just sleep through the night again.

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 09:26 am:

Tonya, is cows milk new to her? Her system may be having trouble adjusting to it. Just a thought.

By Tonya on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 09:55 am:

It is new to her but I think it is mroe just her being stubborn than anything she wwants her warm formula and not the cold milk. She did good with her bottle last night and then again this morning when it was 75 milk - 25 formula. I think things wil lwork out OK I hope!!!!

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:02 am:

LOL, My DD (currently 6.5 yrs.) still prefers warm milk! JMHO, but I don't see any harm giving your DD warm milk before bed if that's what it takes to get her to sleep all night. To this day both my kids have a small snack before bed. Usually a few crackers or dry cereal and a small glass of milk. (DD's warm.) They brush their teeth right before bed. Works for us!

By Kaye on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 10:50 am:

Trina...ewww! I cannot imagine warming milk, how funny, because i did warm formula. To this day I won't even drink a glass of milk that is not very very cold!

By Tonya on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 11:09 am:

I will try it Trina thanks. I have heard of people drinking warm milk before bed maybe it will work for her.

By Hlgmom on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 01:29 pm:

Just an opinion from a No CIO! There is a great book the No Cry Sleep Solution- I posted about it for someonelse before. It can work with older kids too!I won't go in to my whole philosophy on not letting them cry it out- but if she is still having trouble- check out that book- most libraries have it!

By Amyk on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 06:38 pm:

I also recommend any of the Baby Whisperer's books - check your library. She has great sleep advice.

Best,

Amy

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 08:43 pm:

Tonya, regardless, keep your head and remember this too shall pass......... Trust your gut and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.. And trust me this will all be a faint memory in no time. I faintly remember a Timmy that wouldn't sleep in his own bed many years ago...

By Tonya on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 07:43 am:

Thanks Bobbie, I love you ladies. It is weird how when I came her over 7 yrs ago I was just pregnant and now you ladies have all been through so much with me and been ther for me in ways that I would have never imagined people that I don't even know could be. Thanks ladies.

By Breann on Sunday, March 20, 2005 - 08:39 pm:

I say give her warm milk in her bottle too. Lots of adults still drink warm milk. It's just comforting.
That wouldn't be me, since I REALLY don't like milk, but lots of people prefer it that way.
My grandma use to have a ceramic type bowl. She would heat milk up and poor it into the bowl and drink it out of the bowl each night. Why not a cup? I have no idea. Just her little way of comfort, I guess.

By Annie2 on Sunday, March 20, 2005 - 08:58 pm:

Warming milk is supposed to have a caliming effect for some reason. I know in many novels that I read someone is always warming up milk for a late night conversation with someone who is troubled and can't sleep! LOL

Good luck, Tonya. Your kids are adorable by the way. I love the family photo in your profile. I can't believe Jade is over a year old already.