Unschoolmom...
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2005:
Unschoolmom...
Hello! I was just wondering what you do for "social" interaction and sports etc...I am considering homeschooling - though it is a ways off- just trying to get some insider info!
I don't know about where you live, but here I go through my local rec centre and there are lots of mom/tot activities. There is kindergym, swimming lessons, arts and crafts groups etc. It is a great way to meet other moms in your community. The gym groups are a great way to burn off a lot of toddler energy. Have fun
My daughter has gone to dance lessons and storytime. There's a pack of neighbourhood kids that like to swing by quite often and she has four fast friends from that group. I look after my niece and nephew 3 days a week so there's interaction there. She's also found a friend with the daughter of a woman I go to choir with plus we'll be starting up a local homeschooling group for outings and such.
She has several social advantages over schooled kids. 1) She gets to see family a lot more often. With no school she's free to go visit her grandparents for 4 or 5 days.
2) She can choose who she wants to socialize with.
3) She can socialize with people of all ages, not simply her own age.
The socialization thing is a straw man. Once you start homeschooling you realize it's a non-issue and it starts to be the socializing that kids get in school that seems weird.
Any other questions...Feel free to ask.
I have never homeschooled but where I took my real estate class, part of the building was used for a homeschooling supplies store. I never realized before that homeschoolers have their own network of contacts and support systems. I have always thought that the family was pretty much on their own once they decided on a curriculum. I'm sure the internet has helped to broaden the spectrum a bit.
I'm happy with our school system but if I wasn't, homeschooling would be something to consider.
Unschoolmom- Sorry- I don't know your name! What were your main reasons for deciding to homeschool? I hope you don't mind me asking- just tell me if I ask anything too personal! Does she question why she doesn't go to school? Do you intend to do it for their whole career? Or will they join public/private schooling at some time?? I am on the fence about it and do not know anyone personally who has done it, so I am really looking for a positive perspective- I get alot of flack just for mentioning it to my family. Mind you, that would not stop me! LOL
Duh...Your name is Dawn! I just realized iti is in your profile! I am a little slow today!!
Took me ages to get why people here knew my name.
Catherine doesn't think about school much. She's got friends who go of course and occastionally they try to convince her she should go but she's not biting. One said she should go because, "You'd get to have recess and it's really fun!"
Catherine replied, laughing, "My whole day is recess."
She doesn't like big groups of kids and definately like being in charge of her own time. It hasn't appealed to her so far.
I hope to do it right through high school. If the kids want to go at some point, that will be their choice. I'm not worried about college as I've talked with quite a few unschooling families who've had kids go to college despite lacking any transcript.
My reasons initially for looking into HSing were that Catherine would love her curiousity at school (I've heard teachers remark that they love the eagerness of kindergartners and wish it stayed with the kids. Never occurs to them it seems that being in school is why they lose their eagerness.) I also didn't want to get up early to get hr off to school. Seriously. I didn't want school disrupting family life.
It took me 6 months to decide on radical unschooling which just sounded like a flaky excuse for neglect at first. But now it just seems natural and I can't imagine anything else. I've gone radical on my views on school too and don't have much in the way of good opinions about it.
Ask me anything you want! I love what we do and I love talking about it.
Where did you research it??? I am looking around and I definetely have my doubts about the public school systems!
What is the protocol if it is a subject you yourself are not good with, ie...math! I am horrible-Do you bring in someonelse to teach it? Obviously I am talking about when they are older!
Is there a difference between "radical unschooling" and regular homeschooling?
Thanks again for all the info!
I researched mostly online. I was on AOL at the time and their homeschooling rooms and the people in them were a lot of help. I lurked on message boards and email lists, read websites and articles availible online. I also read all the books on HSing from our local library. I didn't do this but an option for you might be getting in contact with a local homeschooling group and getting to know some local people in that position.Here are a couple of great websites to start with (they have TONS of links),
http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/
www.midnightbeach.com/hs/
What we do about math and similar things is wrapped up in being radical unschoolers so I'll answer that first.
There are a lot of different styles of homeschooler. Some are pretty formal using a specific curricullum they have purchased or following a specific method, Some have no curricullum but make thier own lessons around subjects of interest. An example of that would be a mom who puts together a unit study on Egyptians that has aspects of math, history, science, etc.
Some homeschoolers create lessons from a variety of resources - Math is a purchased curricullum, reading is done with workbooks from the drugstore, science is experiment based, etc. They're generally caled Ecclectics. There are some who just do lessons in a couple of subjects and leave the rest for the child to explore and those are Relaxed or might call themselves Unschoolers.
With Radical Unschooling we don't do lessons at all. The idea is that children (people in general) are built for learning and if you trust them to learn what they need, when they need it, they will. Sort of how a baby learns to talk or walk...there are no lessons taught and yet babies do that with joy, discipline and determination. It's said sometimes that, well, those are babies. Once kids get to 6 or 7 they just don't have the same drive to learn. My though is, well of course, at 6 or 7 they're in school and have been taught that they need to be taught.
Kids follow their interests and take charge of their own learning. Sometimes that's interpretted as neglect on an unschooling parents part but it's not. I'm not a teacher to my kids but I am a facillitator. I won't sit down and conduct math lessons but I have filled the house with 'manipulatives', strung beads in patterns with them, cooked with them, counted money, etc. I won't bring home a book on some historical event and make them listen as I read but I will read the books on Egyptians my daghter brings home frm the library, build block pyramids with her, play a related computer games and just talk about her interest.
I got to unschooling by just watching my kids play and learn. I discovered that their play is an essential part of their lives, even when it seems mindless or pointless to me. I'm rambing. I love what we do and I love talking about it but I know when you first hear about unschooling it seems flaky and irresponsible...It did to me! Besides, it may not be the style you choose. Basically homeschoolers in general bring the idea of formal education home and teach their children while unschoolers let their child lead and subscribe to an idea of natural learning.
So math I won't handle. I imagine that if my kids have an interest in higher math (I can see this in my 6yr old daughter now) then we'll find a way for them to get there (my DH is better at math, correspondence or online courses, books from the library, etc.). If I were teaching, I'd just learn alongside my child. A lot of the time the best guides through a subject are fellow learners, not teachers.
Keep asking though, that's the best research you can do!
I'm sorry to butt into this this way but I just had to tell you, Dawn, that I love to hear you talk about your unschooling ideas. I had wanted to homeschool my children but I don't think we would have been a good match together all day long and my son needs the structure and socialization that school provides. That said, I find your way of doing things so interesting! It wouldn't be a good fit for me (I love structure and routines) but differences are what make people so interesting. Thanks for being so willing to talk about it with those of us that are clueless.
I don't mind the "butting" I am open to any homeschoolers opinions or interest from others! Dawn was just an obvious choice from her screen name!!!
It is interesting and I am excited to learn more- I think at this point for me I would need a more scheduled curriculum- but who knows what I will think after reading up on it! I am all for alternatives that help our children grow into the best people they can be! I definetely think our current educational system can be stifling to a childs creativity and individuality.
Tink - Thanks! I think even if your kids are going to school though, there are elements of unschooling you can bring into your life. I know my parents did. They kept our house full of books and toys, left our free time to us, always had time to answer questions and play with us and didn't place to much emphasis on school as a place of learning. It was understood that learning happened all the time and school was important, but not the be all, end all of our life. They even dropped half a school year completely a couple of years in a row so we could travel.
One end result was that my brothers were free to drop out of school. Sounds bad,eh? But school had always been a stressful fit for them and since they didn't have any grand idea of school's importance and were very confident in their own intelligence and ability they simply worked a couple of years at small jobs then went ahead and got their GED's, went to college and now are both very successful in the aircraft industry. One (at 27!) is head engineer at a helicopter company here and the other is in BC doing metal work for aircraft, rebuilding his 80's Camaro and spending free time reading about philosophy.
I never realized until just now how much my parents are to blame for my thinking on education!
Anyhow, anyone who's got an interest in unschooling (regardless of whether they want to do it themselves) or in child led learning can pick up any and all books by John Holt. He was a school teacher in the 60's who
had some radical ideas. It was from him that unschooling originated. It's really funny how many teachers (John Taylor Gatto, who won awards in NY for his teaching is another one) write about or practice homeschooling.
Hlgmom - When it comes to unschooling, most people get there after homeschooling in a more conventional manner for a few years so watch out! It may get you yet!
I've been homeschooling for 7 years now. The oldest is in 6th grade, the next is in 3rd, & we have a 3yr. old. Most years (all but one) we've been members of some type of homeschool group. This year we joined a new one that I'm really enjoying. We have PE once a week & almost every week there is some other type of activity on Friday. There's an enrichment class once a month, art once a month, & bowling once a month. They also have several 4-H groups. Next week we're going to Outback Steakhouse for a field trip! All activities are optional, so if we can't make it to PE or something that's okay.
We also have church & my boys best friends in our neighborhood are also homeschooled. There are SO many homeschoolers here in Florida that it's not hard to find group activities to join into!
I completely agree. Once I started looking I was amazed how much there is. Brownies and Scouts, 4-H, Municipal programs, local museums and zoos, sports, library...it goes on. I don't know how school kids have any time for all the stuff!
What part of Florida are you in? We are in Jax!
I am also butting in...I hope no one minds! Unschoolmom, I have been reading your posts with great interest. My daughter is only two, but my husband and I are thinking about homeschooling.
Just wondering if you have had to deal with, well, negative feelings from others in regards to your decision. We had a family get together last month, and at the dinner table Lara's uncle asked where we thought we'd be sending her to school in a few years. When we shared our thoughts of homeschooling, we were overwhelmed with some well meaning, but very negative input. I understand their concern, as I have concerns of my own. Yet, neither my husband or I have change our feelings. Just wondering if you have faced this challenge with family or friends.
We have a sweet ten year old neighbor girl who comes by daily to see my daughter. She came home sullen and depressed yesterday from school. She is usually bubbly and happy so I asked how her day went. She said many of the kids teased her throughout the day because she had a cold sore on her lip. So not only was she in pain and uncomfortable all day, she also had her feelings hurt due to the teasing. She said even some of the girls got together and made fun. Girls she thought liked her. Now I know in life we have to learn to deal with such pain. Yet the thought of Lara coming home in tears...well some kids, especially when they get in a "group" can be rather cruel. I'm sorry to go on so...just upset me as we are all quite fond of our little neighbor girl. She's sensitive much like my daughter. I guess I want to protect Lara from this pain. I'm thinking if she was homeschooled, we may be able to be more selective with friends with whom she socializes, and the situations she must face? I don't want to shelter her from the world. There are of course many other reasons homeschooling appeals to us, this topic is just really on my mind this morning!
Thank you for listening. You seem like a wonderful parent and teacher to your children.
Thank you again,
Nikki
Thanks Nikki.
On my side of the family everybody seemed to think homeschooling was great though unschooling seemed weird. Now that they've seen us do it they think it's great.
On my DH's side however they were very worried. They didn't even think it was legal! And I haven't ever really explained unschooling to his mom and dad because I don't think they'd get it at all. But, and I love my MIL for this, though she was worried about it she asked her questions and then dropped it. As she said, she may not agree but it wasn't her decision to make. Should she ever get really concerned I'll offer her some material to read.
If I had a relative who was quite opposed I might offer them information, book titles and websites. I might say that I'd done a lot of research and was satisfied with my decision and if they wanted to debate it with me then I would hope they'd inform themselves first. I don't think a parent has to justify a perfectly legal choice to homeschool to doubting relatives. If they are truly concerned then they should have the onus of researching homeschooling. Then I'd refuse to talk about it. This is my plan for resistence but my MIL is the most resistant of the lot and she is determined to respect our choice so I haven't had to put it in action.
Then there's my husband who likes HSing but isn't convinced about unschooling but he's said that though he may not trust unschooling, he does trust me, and that's enough for him. What a guy.
Thank you for the reply! Good advice, and makes me feel better. I am hoping my husband's family will indeed research the topic if they choose to bring it up again. I was thinking this has a lot to do with their opposition. Lack of information. I have learned so much by research, and of course postings I have read here at Momsview. I still have a lot to learn, but I am feeling more confident about the direction we are taking on her education.
I'm so glad you have the support of family, and your husband does sound great. What a great family!
Thanks again,
Nicki
|
Members
