Hey. I am posting this anonymously because you can find these posts with search engines and I don't want some bad person to search this and read it with the wrong motives knowing who it is from...I know it can still be found on search but I want the anonymous feature to at least protect who this is from...it will all make sense in a moment.

I have two beautiful little girls. They are eight years old and five years old. And they LOVE to take baths together. Here is my dilemma:

One side of my brain: Let them take baths together. It is totally innocent, the door is open, you "pop" in and out, there is no sexual play. They can "see" each other's body and know they are developing normally. More than that, this is a positive experience in "body" acceptance and knowing their bodies look like each other, etc. and that is so important for little girls in our society these days. They often take bubble baths with bath toys, today they played with bubbles and bubble wands and they had SO MUCH FUN together and besides when you speak of separating them, they cry and beg you to let them stay together....if you separate them they may think they are doing something wrong and it could really mess them up later. P.S. they both take showers after the bubble bath to avoid soapy private area and they have never had UTI's.

The other side of my brain: These girls are five and eight years old. They need healthy boundaries. They need to learn to take baths separately, if they cry at first, just tell them that they are too old to be together at bath time and let it go at that. They can still play with bath toys and have bubbles but they need to be separated. They are getting too old for this and they need their private "space!" Just because they have not asked for their space yet doesn't mean they should be taking baths together. They can do other things together but they need to take baths apart at this age/stage of their lives.

And, then, I peek into the tub and see them laughing in their bubble bath and blowing bubbles and having fun and they are so cute and the debate in my head starts all over again.....

DH is like me, he doesn't know either....

What do ya'll think? Should I just let them enjoy their innocence and not worry about it or should I tell them they are "big girls" and separate
them?

By Hlgmom on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 02:05 pm:

They are fine!!! What better way to spend time than laughing and exploring with a sibling! My nieces still bathe together- 6-8-10. It is a blast! When we visit all 4 of them go in together! I don't think innocence is in question at that age! Let them enjoy! They sound adorable!!

By Agreen on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 02:49 pm:

When I was little, my Mom had my sister and my brother in the bath with me! It was always innocent and we had fun! Then one day my older sister decided she wanted her own space. So we took our own baths from then on. I guess I'm saying that your own children will decide when they are ready for their privacy. Let them lead the way. Hope this helps

By Palmbchprincess on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 04:08 pm:

I didn't have siblings when I was young, but my Aunt and Uncle had boy, girl, girl, boy from 1 year younger than me down, all just about 16 months apart. The boys bathed together, and the girls bathed together, me included when I was there, until we were pre-pubescent (say age 9 or so for me) Never thought twice about it. If your kids were opposite sex it might be different, though my kids are almost 3 and bathe together for the time being. They know that Shane's parts are different than Madison's, no big deal. I agree with Angela, they'll let you know when they need more privacy.

By Rayanne on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 04:27 pm:

I say to let them bathe together. I took baths with my sister all the time. It was always so much fun. I eventually got to the age, where I wanted me OWN bath, and we stopped.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 04:29 pm:

I think they're fine! THEY will let you know when it's time for them to bathe separately.

By Debbie on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 05:55 pm:

My two boys, who are 7 and 4, still bathe together. I agree, they will let you know when they are uncomfortable bathing together.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 06:32 pm:

They are the same gender. When they get uncomfortable, they'll let you know. I am a very strong believer in teaching children to keep their bodies private, but in this instance I think it is just fine. I remember when I was in high school we still had gym and still had large shower rooms where all the girls showered together. I always though those girls who were embarassed by being naked in front of other girls were a bit silly. If you go to the Y or other places with public swimming pools, don't people of the same gender generally use public (i.e., open to view of persons of the same gender) showers?

Now, if it was a boy and a girl, I'd feel very differently. But not when they are both the same gender.

By My2cuties on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 06:45 pm:

I say they are fine too. My girls don't take a bath together but that is only because Katelyn takes showers and Hailey takes baths, but I have stuck Hailey in the shower with Katelyn before, no big deal. I think my mom used to put my sisters and me in the tub together and we all turned out okay..

By Anonymous on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 07:02 pm:

****Whew!****sigh of relief.

Thanks everyone.

I really didn't want to separate them and have to deal with the tears.

Thanks again.

By Luvn29 on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 08:12 pm:

Even though you already have your answer, just thought I'd add my two cents.

My sister is eight years older than me, and I some of my best memories are of us taking baths together. We still talk about those baths. And for me to remember, and her to be eight years older, she was at least 12 and older when we did this.

I think it is a wonderful bonding experience, and to be honest, just a whole lot of fun and opportunity for great memories.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, March 5, 2005 - 09:02 pm:

Agree with all of the above! My sister and brother took baths with us when we were little. It was a blast!

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, March 6, 2005 - 12:44 am:

I don't even remember when my girls started taking separate baths. I know it happened eventually. I almost think it was based on one getting too big for them to both fit comfortably in the tub, or else, Sarah realizing that showers were better than a bath. It all just sort of happened.

By Missmudd on Monday, March 7, 2005 - 10:16 am:

Dont sweat it, they will seperate at bath time when they are ready. I agree w/ all the above.

By Imamommyx4 on Monday, March 7, 2005 - 09:39 pm:

My boys took baths together, I think, until the oldest was a little past 9. They played, squirted water at each other, etc. I never thought it was a big deal. Then one day the oldest announced he was too big to take a bath with his little brothers. He had decided not too long before that that I was no longer allowed to see him in the tub. Anyway, that was the end of their baths together. He set his own boundaries and the middle one followed suit. And when each made his decision, I respected it.

By Andyjoy on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 12:24 am:

I agree with everyone else. My sis and I took baths together until we got too big for the tub, but then we moved to a house with a double shower. We thought that was great fun and enjoyed singing in the shower together. We showered together until I was 11 and she was 9, when I decided I wanted my own private time.