I am at wit's end. Over the past few weeks my 8 y/o has started having BMs in his pants. At first I thought he wasn't just wiping well, but it is definitely more than that. DH and I have each talked to him about and he swears that he feels the urge to go, but he's usually out playing football, riding bikes, playing a video game, etc. and doesn't want to stop and take the time to go. This would be very much in keeping with his personality. However, everything I read on the net says to get him to a doctor and that it is probably the result of constipation. I really don't think he is constipated and he drinks TONS of water each day. I've had him wash his own laundry (what we can salvage--most has to be thrown away), buy his own underwear to replace the ones we've had to throw away, etc. We thought the problem had been taken care of but he did it again today. He said he didn't want to come in from playing football to go.

I really don't know what to do. I left it where we will be checking his underwear each night before bath and if he goes in his pants within the week we will be making an appt with the ped. He is VERY modest, so he really doesn't want to go to the doctor. BUT he says it doesn't embarrass him at all that he's gone in his pants--he even got sent home early from the after school program and it doesn't faze him. We have no unusual family, school, friend, or other stress going on that I am aware of.

Has anyone else had this problem?

By Kate on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 07:40 pm:

http://www.momsview.com/discus/messages/23/13601.html

Pam, read my posts from that thread and email me if you like. My DD isn't constipated either, at this point, but the messy underwear is still an issue.

By Debbie on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 09:59 pm:

Pam, my oldest ds had this. He was 4 when he was diagnosed by his ped. He started withholding as a result of getting constipated while on vacation(he didn't want to go away from home) Thus, he started a cycle of holding it. For him it was also a control thing, plus he didn't want to take the time to go. Encopresis can start by your ds just holding it because he is too busy to go. This can defnitely lead to constipation and a cycle of withholding. I didn't think my ds was constipated either, and I was shocked to see the results of the xray they took. He had severe blockage and he was having accidents because small amounts of bm's were leaking out around it. Pam, my ds is now 7 and he is finally overcoming this. We have dealt with this for 3 years. I don't want to scare you, but he really should see a doctor, especially if it has gone on for awhile. With my ds, he was having problems for several months before I took him to his ped. By that time he had lost all sensation of having to go and it took a long time for him to regain it. I was fortunate to have a great ped. that was very knowledgable about this. Email me if you want jjsoliz @comcast.net (without space) I will try and answer any questions you have.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 10:00 pm:

We went through this with Jason when he was young. The honest truth in his situation was that he didn't want to come in from playing. It lasted a few months and as suddenly as it began, it stopped. It *was* pretty gross, he got the lectures, etc. I guess he got tired of wearing stained underwear, etc.

With Jules, it was truly a question of anal retention. She did it to have control over some part of her life.

I don't really have any advice for you though... sorry!

By Debbie on Sunday, January 30, 2005 - 10:15 pm:

Also, Pam I wanted to add that my ds also told me that he knew when he had to go. The problem is that once they start withholding, they always have the senstation to go. It gets very hard for them to know when they "really" have to go. I would be happy to share the things that we did to help my ds through this. But, he was also put on medication for it, so that is why I suggested that your ds see a doctor about it. Also, no matter what your ds says, I am sure it does bother him. Kids are very good about being in denial about this. I know it is frustrating. Believe me, I got frustrated with ds more then once. I just tried to always remember that no child would want to go in his pants on purpose. It has to be embarrassing for then, no matter what they say.

By Newmommy2 on Monday, January 31, 2005 - 10:03 pm:

I don't have any older children but I remember my younger brother was having accidents when he was young. My siblings would see him trying to go in his pants all the time so my parents thought he was just having too much fun and didn't want to take the time to go to the bathroom. They finaly took him to the MD and found out is was very constapated.

By Pamt on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 10:51 pm:

My friend Kate emailed me for an update and I realized I never posted one. No problems since I posted, but I am beginning to think that he really may be constipated. Since we told him we wouldn't go to the doctor unless he had another accident, we are giving him another week or so. But...he most likely will be going to the doctor in 1-2 weeks, if he has another accident, or if I determine that he really is constipated (by doing a daily "poop report" ), whichever comes first. Thanks for your stories and advice. I'll let you know more when we know more.

By Debbie on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 10:37 am:

Pam, I really hope that it turns out to be nothing. It is good that you are monitoring him. My ds calls me the poop patrol because I still monitor him to make sure he is going enough. For a while, he was going everyday, but not completely, and he got constipated. It sounds like you are really on top of it. Hopefully, if it is encopresis, you will have caught it early enough that it won't be a big deal for him to get over.