My 7 month old sleeps with me and my husband at night and takes naps in her swing. Ever since she was a newborn she would not sleep in the basinet. Every time I put her in there she would wake up within 10-15 minutes. When she was a newborn I really needed some sleep so a let her sleep with us. She slept so much better that it became a habit. Well, now she is still sleeping with me and I want to get some advice on how to break this. I have tried putting her in her crib after I get her to sleep but as soon as she hits the matress she is up. I am still breast feeding her so I can't just give her a bottle to fall back asleep and she does not take a pacifier. I have also tried to wait to put her in there until she is in that deep sleep but she still wakes up. What should I do?

By Eight_Kids on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 01:27 am:

Been there and done that. I used to have to put my daughter in one of those front carriers just to get ready for work because she'd do the same thing once i put her in her bed. It was exhausting. I'm not sure I have any advice cuz if I remember correctly she just outgrew it eventually. I think we tried the let her cry for 5 minutes, then go in and get her. Then put her back down and let her cry for 10 minutes....this is a hard thing to do....she's 7 now and occasionally will still come get in bed with us. Hugs to you. I know it's frustrating but I promise they do eventually outgrow it!!

By Children03 on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 06:00 am:

I never got in the habit of letting my girls sleep with us, but I think you will probably just have to nurse her and lay her in her crib and just let her cry it out for a while. I know it is hard, but she will eventually fall asleep and then she will learn how to fall asleep on her own. I have always let my girls cry it out and it was hard hearing them cry at first, but then they shortly learned to just fall asleep without all of the crying. Good luck.

By Kate on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 07:51 am:

Warm up the crib with a heating pad or hot water bottle so the transition shock isn't so bad.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 08:21 am:

Ditto Kate...my little brother needed the sheets to be warmed up. And, you might have to just let her cry it out a bit. I've had my ds in the crib since 3 months...he loved to be swaddled. He's fine without swaddling now, but I also have a comfort blanket helps my ds. He likes to hold it against his cheek. I remove it once he's asleep...it had holes in it (it's knitted by hand) so it's not a major suffocation hazard. If you start a security blanket, make sure you have 2 or 3 of the same ones so you can wash them! LOL!
Hope this helps!

By Kaye on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 08:43 am:

No advice here, mine all slept with me till about 2. NO matter what you decide they will eventually grow out of sleeping in your bed. I have heard of little contaptions that connect to your bed that are like a crib, maybe you could use one of those and slowly transistion her.

By Tanja on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 09:17 am:

My first two slept on their own before 2 months then came along....#3.....not the same story. I too let him sleep with us for fear of NEVER getting a good night sleep. He's 5 now, and we still do NOT get a good night sleep. He's better but not as good as I would like. I know you're tired and it's so easy to take them with you but call in some troops to help you out. It should take less than a week. Make a plan and stick to it! Do you give the baby water bottles at all? I gave one of mine a water bottle at night because I didn't like her having milk for fear of rotting teeth and that really worked well but I know some women don't (and some Dr's do not) suggest water. My Mother suggested it and it worked. It's hard to find that one thing that works for you and your baby because they're all different but there's some good suggestions here and maybe if you pool them together you can come up with something that works for you. Good luck and be sure to let us know how it turns out!

By My2cuties on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 09:28 am:

Good suggestions here, and if you do not have a way to heat the bed up, I always used a fleece blanket to lay them on and it worked just as good. also you could try wrapping her tight so she thinks you are holding her.

Hope all works out, I had my 1st dd sleep with me because she was my first...then I realized it wasn't that good of an idea once she started putting her legs all over me and kicking me while she slept. She sleeps in her toddler bed now and we all get a better night's sleep.

By Heaventree on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 10:30 am:

Your little one might be a bit old now for swaddling, however, you might want to try a half swaddle. Wrap as you usually would but start under the arms so that her arms are free, she might be waking herself up by moving, and this will keep her on her back (if you are worried about that). Warming her bed is a good suggestion as well, we have a bean bag that you place in the microwave and then place in the crib just before you put them down. My ds is 10 months old and still takes his naps in his swing and comes into to bed with us around 4:30 a.m. Once they get a little order they are hard to sleep with, if you can get her to sleep on her own now you will get a much better sleep. Mine is very restless now and we get kicked a lot and we now have to consider putting the mattress on the floor as he is on the move. If you manage to break the swing habit let me know as my ds is getting too big for his and I'm sure we are in for trouble if we don't figure out an alternate idea. Good luck.

By Kayleesmommy on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 01:53 pm:

I think I will have to try and raise the matress up higher because right now it is in the middle position and I think it is the falling feeling that wakes her up. I will try this and the heating pad and see if that works. My husband keeps making little comments on getting her to the crib so I think he may be getting annoyed with her sleeping with us still. Not only that but it is hard to be intimant with each other.

By Kaleighsmommy on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 04:55 pm:

I made the same mistake and am still paying for it. Kaleigh is 2 and still sleeps with us for the most part. It's getting better. Now, I will put her in her own bed and she will wake up around 4 in the morning and get in bed with us. I've tried letting her cry it out, but I just need to sleep too bad. I think she will out grow it.

By Unschoolmom on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 05:43 pm:

I don't think it's a mistake (not in my case anyway). My three year old still crawls in bed with me early in the morning and went to bed with us until he was about 2 or so. I sleep much better when I don't have to get up to put him back in bed, nurse or whatever and when he's beside me he doesn't wake up (and so his diaper stays dry) like he does in his own bed. I tend to think that if they want to sleep with you, they have a need to be close to you so I just go with it.

I am quite confident he won't be still crawling into bed with me when he's 17 so I'll take the cuddles now and build some memories to cherish for my empty nest days.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 06:50 pm:

My kids both went to sleep in their own beds, but here and there, they found the need to crawl in bed with us in the early morning hours. Now, they are big and no one does that anymore. I kind of miss it. It wasn't ever so much that it was enough to drive us crazy and happened more at the beginning of school years and during thunderstorms!

By Alberobello on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 03:56 pm:

My son who is now 6 also had problems sleeping and i think it's down to the fact that i am such a disorganised person. I read a book called "Good habits, bad habits" I only read the bit on sleeping because that's all i was interested in. It said, and i did so i know it works, that first a routine needs to be introduced and you need to stick to it. It takes three nights only, believe me i've done it several times (and it works, it is just when we go on holiday that i can't keep up with the routine and my son goes back to the bad habit).
Anyway, it says that first you have to tell your child all day long for a couple of days what your going to do (and stick to the deadline). Then do your normal (uninterrupted) bedtime routine, talking to her about it while you do it. Once it's time to put her in her bed, very lovingly tell her that she has to sleep kiss her goodnight and LEAVE the room (if you are brave enough, turn off lights, i wish i had done sooner). Of course she's gonna cry, but then you go back and without making eye contact you tell her always the same words (it's night time so go back to bed, or whatever you want, as long as its short and it sends the message) go back as many times as necessary (waiting as long as you can, if you can before going in). But do not pick her up. Even more, do not go near her bed.

I know it sounds cruel, but really it works, i've tried it and it worked better when he was little although i just tried it after the Christmas holidays and it worked again. It can work forever if you are consistent and organised (which i am trying to be...). Honestly it only takes three nights for babies to adapt to sleeping on their own (that's what it's taken me when i've done it, and i started when he was 9 months).

I would love my son to sleep with me (specially as my dh works nights) but i think it does them good to learn how to sleep on their own and i appreciate it too.

Maria

By Hlgmom on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 10:43 pm:

I am an advocate of co-sleeping and would have loved to still be co sleeping with my dd- however my husband did not enjoy it. So we compromised and put her in her own bed around 11 months. There is a great book out called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It has some great ideas and techniques for those of us uncomfortable with the cry it out methods! Best of luck! The best advice I can give is try not to make any sllep decisions when you are sleep deprived yourself- they tend to be the ones you do not stick with!

By Brandy on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 08:14 am:

On a show i watch they put the child in the crib sat there on the floor with there face down looking at the floor and then when the child got up not looking them in the eye but putting them back into their crib.Keep repeating this and moving further away until the baby is asleep and then slowly go out of the room = ) i hope i explained this good enough the show is Super Nanny = )

By Kayleesmommy on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 02:09 pm:

When is the Super Nanny show on? I have been looking for it but can't ever catch when it is on?
Heather- Thanks for the title of that book. I am going to go down to Waldenbooks to see if they have it today.

By Tink on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 02:58 pm:

Supernanny is on ABC at 10:00pm PST, Mondays. I don't know if that is when it is on everywhere. I can't ever keep up with Central having a different schedule.

By Kayleesmommy on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 04:07 pm:

WOO HOO! Kaylee just took a 40 minute nap in her crib!!!!!!!!!!!

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 08:17 pm:

YEAH! Did you do anything different?

By Kayleesmommy on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 08:49 pm:

I just got her really tired and breast fed her. Right when she fell asleep I put her in the crib and rubbed her belly and talked softly to her and she went right to sleep. I also raised the matress up a notch so I am not sure if that helped as well. I used to wait until she stopped breast feeding but I think by the time she would stop it was about 20-25 minutes so when she woke up from me putting her in the crib she wasn't as tired because she got kind of a nap but if I put her in there right when she falls asleep she is still tired. Now I just have to break myself of her sleeping with me. When my husband is out to sea I get scared at night so I always think if someone broke into the house I would wnat her right next to me.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 12:16 pm:

Tink, I live in WI, which is central time, so something on at 10pm on the east coast is on at 9pm for me!

Kayleesmommy, that is great that your daughter slept in her crib!

By Kayleesmommy on Sunday, February 6, 2005 - 11:09 pm:

Heather- I bought that book and it is so informational. I haven't gotten very far into it but just the beginning is wonderful. Thanks for telling me about it.

By Hlgmom on Sunday, February 6, 2005 - 11:21 pm:

I am so glad you liked it!@ Ithink it has some great info and it really helps to make the transition easier on you both, especially if you do not want to let them cry it out! It definetley helped me! The "pantley pull-off" was a great suggestion! Best of luck to you! I also found that a pretty structured bedtime routine was very helpful! If it is any encouragement- she is 15 months now and bedtime is pretty great! I say it's time for night night and she runs into her room and picks out her books that we will read, we read them, then nurse and rock- but Iam able to put her down fully awake and she is sleeping from 8-7! This from the kid who was up 5-8 times a night and up for good by 5 am!!! It is great and it was worth taking the time and not just going straight for the cry it out methods!! Hope all goes well for your dd! I am sure it will!