Ok, so I watched Oprah the other day and the super Nanny. She mentioned that if we rocked our toddlers to sleep we were doing them a "great diservice" as children need to learn to fall asleep on their own. Just a little background. I have a 10 month old baby and another on the way in September. I'm still nursing my ds will not drink formula (went to the doctor the other day said I could start ds on cow's milk - a bit of a relief as I'm still nursing up to 5 times a day and pregnant, therefore very tired). So ds goes to sleep a 8 p.m., I used to nurse him to sleep, now I only rock him. Last night he awoke at 11:00 p.m. and I did not rock him back to sleep, each time he stood up in the crib I gently laid him back down and sat down beside the crib. It took about 40 mins. but he did eventually fall asleep and did not wake up until 5:30 a.m. I felt so bad though as each time I laid him down he cried and cried.

Tonight he woke up at 9:15, I went upstairs and only had to lay him back down again twice before he went back to sleep on his own. So it appears to be working. I guess the next step will be to stop rocking and just get him to sleep on his own. I really feel the need to establish a routine now before the next angel arrives. So I will try to cut down on the nursing and hopefully have him on a bottle before September and have him sleeping on his own.

I feel like a bit of a mean mommy and I'm a bit sad to see my baby growing up already, soon to have another little baby in the house. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

By Pamt on Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 10:51 pm:

I always rocked my babies and read books as part of our bedtime routine, but I never rocked them all the way to sleep (unless they were sick) past about 5 months. We rocked until drowsy and they feel asleep in their own beds. I never have regretted it and they have always been great sleepers! I wouldn't get your 10 month old on a bottle though. As you wean him from nursing just go to a sippy cup. There is no need to bring in another thing that you will need to wean him from. I introduced the sippy with juice and water at about 4 months and my boys were pretty proficient with it by about 7-8 months. They each nursed until one year of age and by then they were taking all liquids from a sippy cup.

Yes, it is sad to see our babies grow, but that is our job.

By Tink on Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 11:03 pm:

Wow! I can basically ditto exactly what Pam said. A sippy cup is so much easier than a bottle. I went straight to that with my youngest and wished I'd done that with all three. None of my kids really enjoyed being rocked to sleep. They needed a few minutes on their own to settle into sleep.

I really liked the way Supernanny handled the sleeping issue. It seemed like a good mix of letting them cry it out and being right by their side everytime they fall asleep. I think it would even work with toddlers and preschoolers that won't sleep in their own beds.

It's so hard to let them cry now but you'll be so glad that you did it now, instead of after your new little one shows up. {{{Heaventree}}}

By Heaventree on Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 11:07 pm:

Pam, thanks for responding, great advice, one question about the nursing. My ds will drink from a sippy and I wanted to replace two nursing sessions per day, late morning and early afternoon, just before nap time. Should I give him milk in a sippy? Warm or cold? Or just drop those two sessions altogether? It's so hard to know how much milk they should be getting especially when nursing.

By Tink on Sunday, January 23, 2005 - 11:39 pm:

You can definitely give milk in a sippy cup, as long as he doesn't take it to bed with him. Warm or cold? Let him decide. Most babies seem to like it warm but all three of mine took cow's milk cold. I just didn't act like it was replacing breastmilk. They drink juice cold, why not cow's milk? I would offer the cup at his usual nursing sessions so that some things are still the same, even though you aren't nursing anymore. Continue to hold him, sit in your usual spot, sing or hum, whatever you used to do, just with a sippy cup instead of the breast. Good luck!

By Pamt on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 12:38 am:

Well, now I can ditto Tink! One thing I would add though is to check with your pediatrician first. Most peds recommend waiting until 12 months before introducing cow's milk due to the possibility of allergies. My oldest was 12 months when he first had cow's milk and my youngest was about 9-10 months (with the pediatrician's approval) and my youngest ended up with a milk allergy, which he has since outgrown. I gave milk cold in a sippy...about 4 ounces or so. By one year they were drinking 1 glass of juice (diluted 50/50 with breakfast), milk with lunch and supper and maybe one other cup of glass during the day. We also drank a lot of water. Also just drop one nursing session at a time to give him and your body time to adjust. Most people say that the nursing at bedtime is the last to go, but for both of my boys it was the first one in the morning. That nursing session was their way to wake up...kind of like a first cup of coffee. I really miss those warm snuggling nursing times in the rocking chair first thing in the morning.

By Heaventree on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 08:18 am:

Thanks you two, we will try your suggestions. Pam - the doc gave the ok for cow's milk and we tried some over the past few days, so far so good. Thanks again, I feel so much better.

By Kittycat_26 on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 09:43 am:

I watched this as well, but the thing that I liked about it was that the SuperNanny was so very realistic. When she went in and sat beside that mom who was having a hard time letting her son cry it out in his crib, it was just great. It gave her a heart instead of this person that was marching in to "fix" all of the problems.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 03:33 pm:

I tried to rock my oldest one to sleep, when she was a baby. It never worked, though. She would be restless and moving her head from side-to-side. So, I finally stopped doing it and just layed her down. She would babble for a while and then fall asleep on her own. She always was a good sleeper, once she hit 2 months old, so maybe it's a good thing she never got into the habit of rocking to sleep, but I felt a little hurt, since I wanted to do it! Oh well. She just didn't like it, though.

My second child didn't get rocked that much either. She liked laying on a pillow across my lap and thats what I did when she was fussy in the evening.

By Unschoolmom on Monday, January 24, 2005 - 05:55 pm:

She mentioned that if we rocked our toddlers to sleep we were doing them a "great diservice" as children need to learn to fall asleep on their own.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay, IMO, bull. Kids, toddlers esp. know what they need and if that's to be rocked, then feel free to do it. I think sometimes people, 'experts' in the childcare field esp. have an honest, if ridiculous fear, that kids will be 16 and not know how to put themselves to sleep. There's so much time for kids to learn these things and if left to their own devices, and if they're secure in the knowledge that the rocking service is availible upon request, they'll learn them. They WANT to get big after all. Man, I hear so much about how our kids grow up to fast these days. Well, sheesh, could it be because we push them too?

Heaventree - do what feels best to you. There's no one who has the one right way to raise a kid, plenty of experts who would disagree with that nanny (try Dr. Sears) and it always pays to be suspicious of anyone who claims to know best (Mothers and MILs especially, LOL).

Okay. Rant ended.

By Amyk on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 07:11 am:

Check out the Baby Whisperer's site - she has a great message board about sleep issues and has (I think) a balanced approach to helping your little one learn independent sleep.

www.babywhisperer.com

Amy

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 03:33 pm:

Okay I'm a very bad mommy. I am probably doing the greatest disservice to dd. I have always and still do hold her to go to sleep. (She never liked rocking, would fuss and kcik until i I stopped). DD just turned 4. Our bedtime routine is bath, small bedtime snack, and 8:30, we can read or watch a short video as long as she's quiet. Then light's out and if she wants to snuggle and be held in the bed, that is exactly what happens 99% of the time. I lay down in her bed, and she snuggles in to the crook of my arm and falls asleep in usually less than 15 minutes. She's smart,confident, outgoing, not clingy in the daytime, friendly and happy, and for the most part, well behaved (we all have our moments). She goes right back to sleep in the middle of the night when she wakes up.

I just can't see that there is anything wrong with cuddling and holding your babies.

By Kaye on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 04:29 pm:

I think each family needs to decide what will work fo rthem. What worked for me is to rock all my babies to sleep. I probably did so unti they were easily two. It wasn't vital to them, sometimes I rocked for a minutes, sometimes longer. Evenutally they all go to sleep on their own. my almost 7 year old will still ask me to rock him now, expecially when he isn't feel well.

By Nicki on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 04:34 pm:

Imamommy, I do almost the same ritual, except Lara likes me to rock her to sleep, and she is 27 months. In fact, she will come to me with her favorite blanky and say "rock" when she is tired. I truly love this time with her. She does wake about once a night, and I also rock her back to sleep. Being up at 2 or 3 in the A.M. is startling at first, but when I have her sleepy, warm body next to mine and we are rocking in her night lit room, well those are some of my special times with her. I know she is able to go back to sleep on her own, because I hear her wake briefly and return to deep sleep without my help throughout the night. If she wakes to the point she needs me, there is usually a good reason and she needs my help.(Too warm, cold, wet bed, etc.) I know all to soon she will no longer want to be rocked. My husband and I have never let her cry it out, and like your little one, Lara seems happy and confident. (Well most of the time...we are dealing with some serious "I'm two" issues at present!) So I guess I am confused by the Nanny's feeling that this is a diservice. Did she elaborate on this point? Just curious. I did not see this particular Oprah, so I'm kind of in the dark here. I guess we all do what we think is best, and I really feel a mom's intuition is what wins out in the end. There is so much advice out there. Sometimes I wonder if it only serves to confuse me more! (lol)
Nicki