My son who is in kindergarten this year is very smart but always doubts himself, according to the teacher. Today, I broght him into class and gave him a kiss, as I was walking out I heard the teacher say go to the reading corner and get a book or take a paper and write a letter. Well, my son came running behind me crying. I asked what was wrong and he proceeded to tell me that he didn't know how to write a sentence. So, I take him back in, we clean away his tears and I sit down to show him. In the meantime the teacher comes up and states that she doesn't know why he doubts himself, she says that he knows how to do it. She says she doesn't know why he cries alot etc, that all of the other children have gotten it. Well, hello if your child is crying in class isn't the teacher suppose to say something? At the parent teacher confrence she kept refering to my child as a perfectionist, that he will work on it until its right etc. He doesn't behave this way at home, but I have realized that he is becoming alot more whiney (sp)lately. I didn't like the fact that the teacher seems kind of annoyed with him while she was speaking, she also said that I need to quit helping him???? I am upset, and would really like to know how to build a childs confidence in a classroom where the teacher is talking about his downfalls in front of him. Thanks for listening..

By Emily7 on Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 02:34 pm:

Get a different teacher is the only suggestion I have. She sounds like a real piece of work & maybe the reason that he is doubting himself. If she will talk this way to you in front of the child what is she saying to him when you are not around?

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 06:43 pm:

I really see no problem with a child wanting to do something right...unless he is really missing the point of the project. (ie- painting something fun and just painting over and over until he thinks it's right.)
If you have a problem with the teacher, I would have a meeting with not only the teacher but the principal and a counselor. It's OBVIOUSLY a problem when your child is crying in class and maybe, and i don't want to seem too harsh/assuming here, but maybe if she's critical in front of him maybe that's why he's trying to be such a perfectionist?
Sometimes these things pass... my brother was the same way and now it's better. Maturity takes place later in boys.
What did she say that you are helping too much with? The best thing a parent can do is guide the child and ask the right questions and let the child come up with the answers. If his answer seems wrong, answer in a positive way, but just keep asking questions until he comes up with the best answer. I assume you're already doing that at home, so I'm not sure what she is talking about?

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 06:49 pm:

I absolutely agree - a different teacher. If the early school experience is negative, a child will never feel good about school and probably never do well in school. This souonds awful.

Also, as every teacher should know, boys mature more slowly than girls in many ways, including social skills. That he is very smart has nothing to do with (a) social maturity and (b) his ability to understand instructions - especially if they are not given very well and given by a teacher who clearly has little sympathy for her students.

My poor Scott had a kindergarten teacher who didn't like kids, and when it came to first grade was going to get a first grade teacher who was also not particularly sympathetic. I pulled every string I had (as a SAHM who was volunteering like crazy at the school) to get him into the other first grade with a teacher who was wonderful, and kind.

By Beth on Thursday, January 13, 2005 - 10:53 am:

I don't really have in more advice. Just wanted to say I am going through the same thing with my son's teacher. I think she is finally seeing some of it herself though and trying to correct the problem. I really think there is a way you have to handle certain kids and the teacher has to be able to adjust to all types of personalities. I think talking to her one on one would help. Good Luck!