My 2 1/2 year old son walks on me. I know this sounds crazy, but he hardley listens. I can tell him no and he will do it anyway. I can scold him and he will scold me back. I will put him in time out, but he will just keep getting up. I can tap his diaper and he will tap me back. He yells at me and tells me not to talk to him. Now It is not all the time, but it is still kind of bad. What should I do? Nothing is working

By Cat on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 08:39 am:

What a tough age! I have a 2 1/2 yo daycare child that really pushes my limits (and buttons!). Just stay as consistant as possible. There are a couple Love and Logic parents here that can tell you about that. There's also a program called 1-2-3-Magic that's pretty good and works pretty well if you keep at it. He is still at the age where you can still redirect him, too. Distraction is a wonderful tool! Good luck. The terrible twos don't last forever (although, sometimes they seem like it! lol).

By Lauram on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 08:47 am:

At that age, I always had to "hold" my kids in time out. If they get up and do it again, I put them right back. I also taught them both at this age to say sorry and "show" sorry (give a hug). Consistency is key. Try not to get emotional. It only makes it worse. (BTW- both of my kids ar REALLY tough!)

By Angellew on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 09:03 am:

It's definitely the age! My DD will be 3 at the end of March and does the same this your DS does. If I say she can't do something, she'll take her little finger and point it at me and say "No, not! I say!" And, as you said, it's not all the time. More so, when she's tired and frustrated anyway. I also think that they are getting older and more independent and are trying to use that independence and test the boundaries.

Cat is right. I try to stay as consistant as possible. Don't cave! Stick to your guns! He'll start to realize that you're not going to give in and that you're the boss!!!

I try to follow my own advise all the time and it's not as easy as it sounds, I know.

Good luck!

By Cutemom2002 on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 09:58 am:

Thanks all! I will try. When I am tired or beyond frustrated I always cave in so to speak! You are right though, I need to be consistant! I will try the holding in time out thing too. Thank you

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 03:58 pm:

My twins are the same age, and doing the same thing!! The listen to their dad, but not me, so when he's at work it is a pain! No advice, I'm still trying to figure this one out myself, but I'm sure our group will have great suggestions!

By Unschoolmom on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 06:04 pm:

We did a time out thing but not to punish. If my daughter was acting up she'd get led to her room with me gently explaining that (if she was angry, tantrum, etc.) she needed time to cool down. If she was just causing a ton of mischief, pushing buttons, same thing except, "You're having a hard time controlling yourself, come on out when you feel calmer." I really like that approach because I didn't lose anything if she decided to come out the next second saying she was calm because I'd take her right back (gently and talking kindly) in if she proved she wasn't. I didn't lose anything if she played because it wasn't punishment, just time to cool down and pull herself together and play is great for that. And now at 6 she uses that strategy herself when she's upset or frustrated - goes to her room to cool herself down.
I'd reccommend you give Barbara Colorsoso's book, "Kid's are Worth It' a read too. It's got great advice on positive discipline, an approach I really like because no one's the bad guy and kids can learn some coping skills they can carry with them.

By Dana on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 07:37 pm:

For me, time out for a 2 yr old was a waste of effort. My only help was to interupt the behavior, say NO and then redirect to behavior that was exceptable.

Also, I allowed my DD a choice of "do you want a hug or a spanking" She always chose a hug and stopped the bad behavior. I think she chose not to follow directions just once (perhaps twice, but I only remember 1). Be ready to stop what you are doing and get up for hugs ALL THE TIME! As much as you are saying NO, you will be handing out hugs instead.

I hated those days when NO was a good reason to make fun of mommy and laugh at me as I got madder and madder. The more upset I got the more she thought it was funny. EEERRRRGG.

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 10:47 pm:

Dana,
That's how I feel!! I say "No!" and they just shrug, or laugh, or say "no" right back. I find myself quickly getting stressed out and yelling, and it makes me feel horrible. I just want them to respect and listen to me without screaming. If I send them to the corner (works for Nate) they will not stand, they kick, hit, and scream. I literally have to hold them there for a couple minutes until they stop, or put them in their room so I can go outside and calm down. (I can only take so many whacks to the face before I start boiling and have to walk away for a minute!) There are good days and bad days, but the good discipline days are few and far between for me.

By Hlgmom on Thursday, January 13, 2005 - 08:56 pm:

Try the askdrsears.com website- he has some great discipline ideas! Lots of positive ideas!