My ds #2 (he'll be 3 at the end of Feb) is trained. He is not independent though about using the potty. If someone reminds him, he'll go and he rarely has accidents (pee). If noone reminds him though, he tends to have accidents. Bms are different- they seem to be more willful. He makes a choice whether or not he will use the potty. We do stickers/candy. Sometimes that motivates him. Any suggestions about getting him more independent? My other son just "did" it himself....

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 03:51 pm:

This is sort of how my DS is, he LOVES to poo, will go at any given chance, but needs to be reminded from time to time to pee. He's had a few accidents this week just for attention, (Like he'll have an accident, I'll change him, and 5 minutes later he'll have peed a bit more in his pants) but I think it's just a trial and error thing. ry telling DS "Mommy isn't going to remind you to go pee, you need to go on your own if you have to." and make him change his own pants if he has an accident. We hand my DS a pair of undies and tell him to get changed, and he's gotten better about not needing someone to remind him to go. Good Luck!

By Tink on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 04:40 pm:

Can you set a digital timer for a certain amount of time, like 60 minutes and when it goes off, he needs to go try? Then make the time longer and longer so that he has to start making the decision on his own? I'm a big fan of timers and using them as a reminder for the kids or myself.

By Unschoolmom on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 07:55 pm:

I wonder if he gets used to being reminded and counts on that to signal his visit to the potty rather then knowing his own body signals?

My only experience with boys (my almost 3 yr old boy doesn't seem ready yet!) is my just-turned-four nephew I look after. Soon after I stopped reminding him about needing to pee he started going moe on his own.

By Vicki on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 08:11 pm:

Well, the only thing you can do is let him go and do it on his own. You can't teach what it feels like to have to go to the bathroom, that is something they have to learn the lesson of themselves. Really, in my opinion, he isn't trained...you are!! Chances are if you are always telling him to go to the bathroom, he is only doing it because he is told to and most likely isn't having the feeling of having to go, so when he isn't told to do it and that feeling of having to go comes, he isn't able to know what that is. Does that make sense?? I think the only thing you can do is put the ball in his court and let him do it on his own. After a day or so, I bet that he will learn that feeling of having to go and all will be worked out. You might have many accidents those first few days though, but that is the only way for him to start feeling and learing what the urge is.

By Lauram on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 11:05 am:

Hmmm. I "bribed" him yesterday at daycare about making sure he went and he managed to have no accidents. I don't think it's about him not knowing the cues. I think it's more willful- or "lazy." I don't like that word with kids- but I think in this case it applies. He does change his own pants BTW. We've been doing that for awhile. I thought of the timer thing- but I thought he would be dependent on that too... This is a tough one....

By Kittycat_26 on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 08:05 am:

Crystal, I have to let you know that Timmy is having great success at daycare with standing to pee. After you suggested it, I handed it off to daycare and he just loves it. They've said that even his aim is relatively good as well. BMs are another story as well as going himself. He is such a regiment at daycare that I think the telling us will be a while.

By Kaye on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 08:19 am:

Honestly I feel like if he is still having accidents when you don't remind him, then try to remind him. It may be you trained, but if you are trained enough to not change diapers and have no accidents that is wonderful! They all eventually figure it out. I would try to figure out how long he usually goes between potty breaks, so lets see it is normally a hour. Then I would keep a timer running to remind myself. Or you could even put one in the bathroom and give him control. If he goes other than that, then reset the timer.

By Lauram on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 08:55 am:

I'm thinking it might be a "Do I want to be a big boy or a baby" thing with him. I remember learning about this in child development. He keeps fluctuating between, "Mommy, I'm a big boy!" and "Mommy, I'm a baby." Maybe he just needs to figure this out on his own. I offered to by him a treat at the vending machine at the YMCA tonight (while his brother swims) as incentive for staying clean all day. The incentive thing seems to be helping him too.... He has a tough personality. Very strong/independent spirit. Wants everything HIS way. Refuses help of any sort. Maybe I just need to let him figure this out on his own.... (BTW- this morning he peed right in front of me in his pull up while standing in front of the toilet. That was a choice! Then he told me he wanted to be a baby today.)

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 10:07 pm:

Amanda, that's great! Shane loves to poop, so that's not an issue for him, but I wasn't sure we'd ever get him to aim until Nate figured out the lean forward trick. My brother is so young that I had no idea what to do for a boy, and asked Nate's mom how she trained him. Outside... he learned to pee on a tree. (an advantage of growing up in the country I guess) Hey, whatever gets them to do it!!

By Cutemom2002 on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 08:20 am:

Please help! I have a 2 1/2 year old who will not potty! I can get him to go in the potty 1 time a week. How do you do it?

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 04:01 pm:

Jessica, I noticed you said you have a son. What worked for me, and for Amanda, whose son is a couple days younger than my kids, was having them stand up at the potty. Dad showed him how big boys do it, and he was SOLD! We have him lean forward and hold on to the top of the toilet, so he doesn't have to aim. Seriously, it made the difference between barely using the potty, and being fullt trained in almost no time. Good Luck!!

By Cutemom2002 on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 04:10 pm:

Thank you Crystal! I will try that tonight. Good Idea. I am a single mom, so it is a little hard, but I will try it. I have a fiancee, so maybe he can help me?

By Lauram on Tuesday, January 11, 2005 - 06:44 pm:

Amazingly, he has turned the corner overnight! It's almost like he knew I was posting this! I bought some gummy life savers (2 per poop) and M and M's (3 per independent pee) and he hasn't had an accident since- not even at daycare where he's not getting the reward constantly. Interesting....