Up until a few months ago DS (8) and DD (6) were like oil and water together. They would play together nicely at times but didn't mix well for the most part. Lately they've been getting along and playing together often with only occasional rough spots. Of course DH and I are thrilled! However, now we're dealing with a new issue that I have mixed feelings about. A few weeks ago I was checking on the kids before going to bed and found DD sleeping on the floor in DS's room. I didn't want to wake her up so I left her there. The next morning DS told me that DD came into his room claiming she was scared and he told her it was OK to sleep in his room. What a sweet big brother! Well, now DD wants to sleep in his room every night. I didn't mind over vacation but last night we tucked her into HER bed in HER room because it was a school night. Guess where I found her when I checked on them last night... On the floor in DS's room. LOL! At first they stayed up late talking but have seemed to settle down. I'm concerned DD may not be sleeping well on the floor. DH's suggestion was to set up the air mattress in DS's room. Although I'm very happy they're bonding I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with her camping out in his room on a semi permanent basis. If we set up the air mattress we're encouraging it. If we tuck her into her bed at night she's going to sneak into DS's room. Instinct tells me to not make a big deal of it and things will work out. They are obviously bonding and enjoying each other's company. That's a GOOD thing, so why is this bothering me?! LOL! I hate to admit it, but if they were the same gender it probably wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, if that were the case I would consider having them share a room. What are your thoughts, feelings and experiences? TIA

By Lauram on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 10:18 am:

I think I would just let it work itself out. I would definitely not set up that air matress though. She'll get ucomfortable after awhile. I would also continue to put her in her own bed at least to start. I'm sure it's just a novelty. I wouldn't worry about them being different sexes. They are only 6 and 8. Your fears made me think of that racey book I read as a kid- with those kids in the attic. What was that called?! Those were teenagers though. I wouldn't worry about it. I think I'd just savor the peace for a bit! (my kids have been pushing each other's buttons all vacation!)

By Debbie on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 11:05 am:

Trina, I would do as Laura suggested and just put her in her bed at night and not make a big deal about it. However, I would not encourage it either by setting up an air mattress for her. My two boys got into sleeping in the same room for awhile. My youngest has a trundle bed and my oldest would go in there and sleep. It lasted for about 2-3 weeks and now they have both decided to sleep in their own beds again. I think it is just the novelty of it. I really can't comment on the gender difference because I don't have that issue. I wouldn't worry to much about it though since they are still pretty young.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 11:07 am:

Trina, my coworker's kids are DS 12 and DD 9 this month. A couple years ago she had the same problem. DD got *scared* at night, and would go into DS's room to sleep. It went on for a few months, she allowed it and didn't seem concerned about it. I questioned her and tried to talk to her about alternatives at the time, thinking it wasn't exactly a *healthy* thing to do. But she didn't make a big deal of it and it resolved itself within several months.

Laura, you are thinking of the V.C. Andrews series, Flowers in the Attic! I read all those books. You are right, those kids were older and things were less that normal with their lives.
However, to be perfectly honest, that was the first thing I thought of when my coworker talked to me about her kids.

Back to Trina - I would continue to put DD to bed in her own room, and encourage her to stay there. But, I would be careful handling this, not to make them feel like they are doing something *bad*, and I honestly wouldn't make too much of it at this point.

By Colette on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 11:25 am:

I think it's cute. I'd tell them not on school nights but if they want to "camp out" in each others rooms on the weekends it's fine. Kids love camping out, indoors or out, all 3 of my dks love to camp out in the living room or in my bedroom. Occasionally they do it in each other's bedrooms but it usually ends up in a fight. If your son become uncomfortable with it you'll know.

By Melanie on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 01:10 pm:

I agree not to worry about it. Like the others said, go ahead and tuck her into her own bed and don't worry about it if she goes into his room. She won't do it forever. I know you said you wouldn't worry about it if they were the same gender, but I'll throw in my story anyway. LOL. My boys often end up in the same bed together. They are snuggle bugs. Your kids are young and are bonding. Go with it. It's very sweet!

By Afox2004 on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 02:27 pm:

My oldest two 16 and 9 have never gotten along. they have learned to avoid each other. The oldest one gets a little mouthy, so he has to be talked to constantly, but otherwise, there's not much else you can do. You can't force it. I've just encouraged them to be civial. It's hard watching your children not getting along.

By Eve on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 04:12 pm:

I think it's a wonderful thing for siblings to rely on each other! I don't know what I would do without mine. I would be thankful for the bonding time and not worry. I still hang all over my sister.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, January 3, 2005 - 11:59 pm:

When we first moved to Sheboygan, my girls shared a room. That was for three years. We moved here 8 years ago when Emily was 4 and Sarah was 7. We have a Cape Cod house, so Sarah's room is upstairs and Emily's is on the first floor. The first few nights we were in this house, Sarah slept with Emily in her bed. They were so used to being together at night, that they needed a night or two to acclimate to their new house. Then Sarah started sleeping upstairs and they have been good since.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it and I bet it stops eventually. I probably wouldn't encourage it with an air mattress.

By Hillsmum on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 - 01:32 am:

Well Trina, I agree with the other posts. I think it may be a "give it time" thing. It's nice to here youre kids are close enough to put up with each other in the same room. My girls' share a room with bunk beds, some times I'm afraid to go in there, as the arguing sounds scarey just through the wall. I wish I could get them to get along, I know deep down they really do love each other though.

By Beth on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 - 09:06 am:

I think I would take my clues from your son also. He may get tired of it after awhile and want his privacy again. But until then I wouldn't worry about it. My dk's are soon to be four and six opposite sex and they have to share a room for now. They have bunk beds. I tell my son to go in his room and get dressed when his sister is in the living room.

By Lauram on Tuesday, January 4, 2005 - 09:18 am:

LOL! It was totally Flowers in the Attic! I knew if was something with a "V"! ROFL!

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 11:51 am:

Thanks, everyone! I'm going to listen to my instincts and not make a big deal out of it. They're bonding!! I chatted with an older mom who works at my DK's school. She smiled when I told her about this and said her kids did the same thing and she let them be. She said they're now BEST friends and call each other daily. Her son is a Jr. in college and her DD is a Jr. in high school.