All week my dh and I have been trying to put drops in dd's ear to coax this big ball of wax out. Tonight we decided to try to get it out ourselves. Big mistake. It took some time to convince her to be still, but when dh started to get the wax out she jumped. Blood came out of her ear like a nosebleed. It stopped soon after and we called a doc; he said since the bleeding stopped right away she's ok but we should get her checked out tomorrow. I have been all over the internet tonight reading about the horrors of puncturing an eardrum and how one should NEVER insert anything into the ear canal. Even tiny shreds of a cotton swab can cause damage and further impaction of wax, which if left alone will eventually work its way out.

I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. I feel like I'm not fit to be a mother. I knew better, but I was just convinced that wax had to be removed. It took sooo much coaxing and promising my sweet dd that we wouldn't do anything to hurt her, and that's just what we did. Now I don't think she'll trust us again and I couldn't blame her. I am so upset and fearful of what the doc will tell us. Not to mention I feel even more guilty for worrying about the cost. We don't have insurance right now and were just in the ER two weeks ago with 21 month old ds for what turned out to be a minor bout of constipation that was causing serious stomach pain.

By Cat on Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 11:31 pm:

Oh, Honey, don't beat yourself up! We've all btdt. Like I've said before, if you want "Worst Mother of the Year" award, you've got a long line ahead of you. I'm sure your dd will be fine, she WILL forgive you, and you'll learn from your mistake and move on. {{{{{Andrea}}}}}

By Kate on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 12:27 am:

Yep, been there done that, only with forcing liquid Tylenol into my toddler, who, in hindsight, clearly didn't need it if she was able to fight it off with such energy... She choked and coughed and sputtered severely and my fear of her having aspirated it into her lungs kept me up all night long. So I'll take that worst mother award, thank you. I've earned it on many occasion!

I hope you feel better soon....and your little girl, too.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 05:32 am:

Oh, I'm older than most of you and I've earned that award several times over. Yes, it is sad, and yes, it will be a while before your daughter trusts you, but remember, she wants to trust you.

Your lack of insurance makes it really difficult. Do you qualify for the federally supported program for health insurance for children? It would be worth checking to that. I'm sure if it hadn't been for the lack of insurance you'd have taken her to the doctor for the ear wax situation.

BTW, I have major problems with ear wax accumulation and one time had my right ear go completely "dead" - I couldn't hear anything in that ear and went straight to the doctor, and it was ear wax. It was a very frightening experience until I found out what it was, and very disconcerning, as we need to hear in stereo to keep ourselves oriented. So I think you were right to be concerned and want to get it out.

The trick with using the ear wax removal stuff is that after you have used it a couple of days, you put yourself or the child over a basin or sink with that ear down and use a nose syringe to squirt water into the ear. The water washes the clump of wax out without putting anything into the ear that could damage it. But one only learns that from experience and having it done at the doctor's office.

Oh, and if you did pierce the ear drum, it will heal with a very, very small scar. Truly.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 07:34 am:

Ditto Cat! Give yourself a break, it's not like you intentionally set out to hurt her, you were trying to help her. If this is the worst mistake you make as a mom, pat yourself on the back!!!!!

Eardrums burst in young kids from infection all the time, and it will heal, if that's what happened.

And, just as we all do when we make a mistake, consider it a lesson learned.

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

By Andream on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 11:40 am:

Thanks, everyone! DH just got back from doc with dd. She's fine, thank the Lord! There's only a scratch in the ear canal. I never would've guessed it from all the blood. We just have to put special drops in her ear to clean and heal it.

As far as the insurance goes, DH just got a new job. He starts in less than 2 weeks, and after 90 days we'll have ins! It's been a real struggle since I came home full-time two years ago, but worth every moment with my sweet babies!DH is a professional musician and songwriter and it's been either feast or famine. I had a great job but emotionally couldn't keep going after I had my dd b/c I longed to be home. Anyway, DH still has musical irons in the fire, but is more concerned with providing for our family and got a normal job (if there is such a thing). I am sooo proud of him!

Thanks, again!

By My2cuties on Monday, November 22, 2004 - 10:09 pm:

glad to hear everything is fine.