I am driving my son home from school today (I was a little late picking him up) and he says why weren't you there, I thought he meant why was I late. I explained I had to stop for gas and I got held up in line at the store and I was sorry. He started crying, not like my son at all, He says, "I didn't eat lunch today because I was waiting for you to come eat with me".......I wrote the date of his Thanksgiving lunch down as THURSDAY and it was TODAY!!!! I have never fealt so badly in all my life. I am so stressed, I just started working part time but it is a very demanding job, my two youngest go to Parents day out now 2 days a week and I AM HAVING A HARD TIME KEEPING UP WITH THE SCHELDULES. I just feel horrible, I started just crying in the car and I told him I was sorry, he said it's no big deal Mom it's really okay. I don't remember when I ever fealt so badly as I do right now. I can't stop crying and I never cry. My DH said it's okay I don't remember my mom coming to eat with me....THAT'S BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS SHOWED UP! I'm exhausted and frustrated because I can't organize everything, I have so many events I am working on at work and the kids have so many at school....AAARRGG!

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 04:17 pm:

Chrissy, if that's the worst thing you ever do as a Mom you will be luckier than any other mom I know. I know that's not much help, but HUGS to you, dear - and HUGS to your dear son for reacting to your tears by trying to comfort you instead of dwelling on his disappointment.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 04:53 pm:

Ditto Ginny. Don't be so hard on yourself. {{{HUGS}}} It can be overwhelming to keep up with everything that's going on! I have a calendar with large boxes. I check my DK's backpacks daily and write everything down on the calendar asap. Then I check the calendar every night before going to bed and again in the morning to keep on top of things. That has been the biggest help for me.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 05:23 pm:

I have missed things, too, and yeah, you feel bad, but really the kids aren't damaged for life. My mom and dad were supposed to come for a grandparent's event when Emily was in first grade. She ended up getting sick and having to stay home that day (bad cough!) So, things don't always work out. Emily and my parents got to all go to the event she had in 2nd grade, so it all worked out in the end.

How is it that I miss stuff that I DID write down on the calendar, though? Drives me nuts, too.

By Coopaveryben on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 07:48 pm:

Thank you, I am feeling better. I am going to go get him lunch from his favorite restaurant tomm. and take it to school and eat lunch with him. You guys made me feel better. I am going to buy a big calendar tommorrow like Trina suggested. Thanks again!

By Vicki on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 08:15 pm:

If it were not for my HUGE desk pad calendar I would be lost. EVERYTHING gets written on that and I check it several times a day!! I think that will help you out a great deal. I am sorry for both of you that you missed his lunch. I know that you both had to feel bad!! Have a great lunch tomorrow. Who knows, it might even be more special since not so many parents will be there!!

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 08:17 pm:

Awwww...I bet he is the best boy and forgave you the second you realized what happened...God bless that kind of relationship! They're so resilient, no? Have fun tomorrow!!!!!

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 09:04 pm:

Use the big calendar, use the reminder/alarm system on your computer (at work as well as at home, if your work allows), a little book in your purse, and relax.

I want to repeat what I said earlier. Kudos to you for raising a little boy who understands that his mother is upset and thinks comforting his mom is more important than feeling sorry for himself. In my book, that makes you a successful mother.

By Kay on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 09:53 pm:

Oh, you poor thing - who among us has not slipped at least once and felt utterly horrible? You obviously have done a very good job in raising a great little boy who loves you NOT for what you do or don't do for him, but for who you are -- a great mom!

By Children03 on Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 10:09 pm:

Awww, I'm sorry, I know how you must have felt. Just remember all of the things that you have done for your son and I'm sure he remembers too. One slip up is okay. You are just trying to balance everything and you are a great mother.

By Lauram on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 03:06 pm:

It happens. Sounds like you have a great kid! With working, you really have to pick and choose the events you attend. I generally have my oldest son help me make the decision. Sometimes I give him a choice of two events that one of us can go to and let him pick.

Anyhow, it's hard getting everything in order, but you'll get the hang of it. I agree with the calendar- a must have!

Here's a story I thought you would enjoy: My son has ADHD. His Spanish teacher was talking to him and told him that she has ADD. He asked if she had the "H" and she said no and then explained what that meant. He then told her, "I think my mom might have that, because she's always forgetting things!" I told her, "No, his mom is just STRESSED!"

By Rayanne on Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 05:20 pm:

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}

By Jelygu on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 12:04 pm:

I know you feel bad! {{{HUGS}}} for you! You just have so much going on! You are a wonderful mother and forgetting every once in awhile wont change that. Your great parenting is shown by how your son starting comforting you when he saw how upset you were.

By Trisa on Friday, November 19, 2004 - 01:43 pm:

Awww you poor thing! Your son is such a sweet kid for not getting all upset and telling you it
was ok. You are not bad just stressed with alot on your mind. Big hugs to you!!

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 10:00 am:

Everyone makes me feel so much better. When I was upset I came down here to vent, it was so nice to have a group of people who are understanding. Thank you!

We did have lunch Thursday, I brought him some Burger King (a rare treat and he was wanting the sponge bob watch...it's amazing what guilt will make you do) he was thrilled and we enjoyed lunch. This year he has a teacher with a very closed door policy and it was nice to finally see some of the kids in his class and talk with them too.

Thanks AGain!

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 10:01 am:

Oh and on a side note when I was at the office signing in and I was talking to them, they did send home a flyer with the wrong date for the Thanksgiving Lunch and that is the date I put in my planner.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 01:29 pm:

Oh wow, after all that guilt, it wasn't your fault!! Be sure to show that note to your son, and the date noted in your planner.

By Jlpaints on Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 11:06 pm:

You actually did the very best thing you could have done for your child under these circumstances by ADMITTING YOU GOOFED UP! So many parents cannot admit to their children that they were wrong, but it is what children need to have modeled to them to understand how to take responsibility for themselves. When we make mistakes and ask our children for forgivness, it helps them see that we are human too and that they don't have to be perfect because WE are not perfect. Just today, my son donned a tone with me that sent the hair on the back of my neck into a "ten-hut" and my knee-jerk reaction was to double the intensity in his tone right back at him at double the volume to say "DON'T YOU USE THAT TONE WITH ME SON!!" The look on his face is one I hope I never see again. I immediately got down on his level (he's almost 9, so that isn't so low anymore *sniff*) and said "I am so sorry I yelled at you...that was wrong of me and I hope you'll forgive me" Of course he did, and without being prompted he apologized to me for his tone as well.

So congratulations on actually being a very GOOD parent by sharing your imperfection with your son!