My son's best friend informed us tonight that tomorrow night he and ds were going to a sleepover. After many, many questions it turns out that the sleepover party is at a girl's house and the party is co-ed. Sound like a good idea to any of you? It didn't to me. I don't really care if "her parents are going to be there. And they are just going to watch movies. And nothing will happen." Co-ed party is ok. Sleepover definitely not ok. Especially since ds is the only adult (19) and the rest are still in hs.

By Mommmie on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 09:42 pm:

My cousins went to co-ed sleepovers as 11th and 12th graders and they are from a very conservative overprotective family. They knew every one of the kids and parents and they were a good group of kids. None were ever in any kind of trouble. There was no drinking, drugs, sex. None of these kids did any of that. They were all band nerds. They are both in their mid 20s now, both college graduates and professional people and just good nice people and still close friends with that group of kids.

By Colette on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 10:08 pm:

Absolutely not.

By Tink on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 10:30 pm:

There is no way! I don't have to worry about this yet, but I wouldn't let my sister and my parents wouldn't have let me. I would give the option of staying until midnight, or whatever you think is appropriate, and maybe even meeting them in the morning for breakfast. That is really all I would be comfortable with.

By Imamommyx4 on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 10:43 pm:

DH and I told them to pick a time to be at our house. Since the best friend is < 18, Tenn law says he can't be on the road after MN without a parent. So MN is when they chose to be home with our blessings.

Mommie--I can vaguely envision the scenario you deescibe. But we don't know the folks of this young lady at all. The first time I ever heard the name was tonight. DS has never given any trouble. To the best of my knowledge and nose, he doesn't drink, do drugs and pretty shy of girls anyway.

I just don't think it's a good idea. DS said he just felt hugely untrusted. That's not the issue. I actually trust him. Good kid. I asked him how many times I have ever called his friend's to check up on him. The only time I call is when he's late getting home after he's given us a time that he'd be home. Remember he is 19 now. Mostly with him I worry about car trouble or accidents.

It's just the whole scenario. If this were my best friends and their kids that my son had grown up with and I knew the parent's values agreed with mine and the kids were all minors.... maybe.

By Mommmie on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:08 pm:

Yea, it's hard for me to imagine, too, I just wanted to pass on what I know about it. I stopped letting my son go to single sex sleepovers when he was 9. I don't like the idea at all. He can have kids over until 10 on non-school nights, but sleepovers? Hate everything about them.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:11 pm:

I'd never heard of co-ed sleepovers until a few years ago. I'm against it. There are *always* opportunities for things to happen that you would rather NOT happen. I'd say NO to the sleepover.

By Cat on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:21 pm:

Yeah, right. I don't think so.

By Lauram on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 08:23 am:

No way- unless I was a chaperone. I don't even know if I'd trust dh with that responsibility.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 10:05 am:

NO WAY!

By Palmbchprincess on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 10:07 am:

When I was in High School this started becoming really popular. My parents would NEVER have let me gone... it's just asking for trouble. As a matter of fact, with boy/girl twins I worry about the day when they want to have sleepovers, and how we will arrange it. I think you made a good decision by telling him to be home at midnight. Also, since he is 19, *if* anything happened, he would be in trouble as the "adult" there.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 10:41 am:

Crystal, that's *funny* you said that about have boy/girl twins, and worrying about sleepovers.

When Jeff and Jen were younger, Jen had a friend whose mom wouldn't let her sleep over because of a boy/brother living in the house. I remember at first being very offended and Jen's feelings were so hurt.

Then I calmed down and thought about it logically, and I realized she was just protecting her DD. However, I knew that nothing would have happened to her DD at my house in the first place, so I was still a little put out.

Through the years I've had 4 kids living in the house - 2 boys/2 girls. We've had countless sleepovers and there have been no problems, because they were well supervised (by me! LOL). HOWEVER - we have NOT had co-ed sleepovers and I never would have allowed that.

And usually, boys don't want to be around when girls have a sleepover because of all the shrieking, giggling, squeeling, and chatter going on. Anyone who has ever had 6 or 8 excited little girls in their house all night KNOWS what I mean! I used to joke and say it was a fate worse than death. LOL If Jeff was home and had a friend over mostly all they did was tease the girls and make them mad. I remember Jen doing the same thing when Jeff had kids sleep over. Jeff or Jason would usually end up making plans to sleep at a friend's house when Jules or Jen had a sleepover.

Of course, all that was when they were *young*. However, once they all reach puberty the rules and the worries change. The only time we had an issue was when Jen was best friends with Jeff's first *real* girlfriend - the girls were 14 and Jeff was 15. THAT gave me cause for concern because I couldn't stay up all night and monitor them. I sat down with the 3 of them and had *the talk* and told them that if I even *thought* something was going on behind my back in my house, that would be the very last time she slept over. They got the message pretty quickly and Jeff usually stayed at his friend's house if the girl slept over.

By Rayanne on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:19 am:

My mom would have never let me go to one, but my 16 year old brother went to one about 4 months ago. They knew the parents and stuff, but I still didn't like the idea of him being there.

By Missmudd on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:55 am:

Not a chance, no way, no how, dont care if I am the biggest meanest stricktess mom on the whole planet.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 12:28 pm:

I know my parents would have never allowed me to host one or attend one! I have two daughters who are friends with two sisters. So, if Katie came here, then my Emily went there! Even they didn't want to be in the same house at a sleepover! Unfortunately, that family is moving next summer, since dad wants to go to seminary. I'm glad for him to have the opportunity, but I'm sad that the friends are leaving!

By Bellajoe on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 12:40 pm:

NO way would my mom have let me attned or host one. I know what would have happened if I did attned one of those type of parties in high school....somehow there would have been lots of drinking and everyone "hooking up". Even if it was just making out, people would have paired off.

I dated a guy who had a twin sister. His sister and I were good friends. But when me and the girl wanted to have a sleep over, it was very difficult for my mom to decide whether she wanted to let me sleep over there or not. But i think she felt bad saying no, because her brother was my boyfriend. When i went over to visit her, my boyfriend (Jeff) would keep his distance and let us have our girl time.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 10:31 pm:

No way. In my house. If one of my older two has a sleep over the other one makes plans to sleep away. I have issues with the friends crushing on the other child though. DS is two years younger than DD and I still have to keep an eye on her friends. So, Crys that is how we handle sleep overs.

By Palmbchprincess on Sunday, October 31, 2004 - 09:19 pm:

Ugh... I still don't want to think about it. Let's just hope I can do what some of you have done, and send the other twin to a friend's house for the sleepover night. I didn't have to worry about such things, my closest sibling is 12 years younger than me!