OMG...for the past month my house is horrible once dh gets home. My ds is now 24months and all day he is so helpful...he cleans with me and snuggles me and helps make lunch and he is quiet and thoughtful. The VERY SECOND my dh enters the house it is a horrible instant transformation. He immdeiately starts acting up and screaming...throwing tantrums and wont help clean up even his own mess. This started about a month ago. My dh and him used to play cars and color and roll around acting silly together but now ds is only happy if dh will stand up in one place and just hold him and do nothing else. And of course who wants to stand in the middle of a room for hours holding a 2 year old! We have no idea why this started and my dh feels like a monster cuz he wont hold him all day. But who would? I dont know how to fix this and have never seen this before! We dont give in so basically once dh is home its screaming until he falls asleep every night and i am not sure how much longer my nerves can hold up especially at 30 weeks pregnant! In the mornings when ds wakes it is the same thing and i tell you its amazing..the VERY SECOND again that dh leaves for work ds comes to me on the couch lays down and watches tv quietly until its time to get up and start the day. Any suggestions or BTDT that can help.

By Vicki on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 08:20 am:

My opinion, for what it is worth is that he wants Daddys attention! What does he do if dh comes home and holds him for a few minutes and then suggests a activity (like playing cars) that they do together? What does dh do while he is screaming? Does he tell him that he won't hold him, but he would like to color with him? I guess what I am wondering is what do you guys do while he is screaming all night? That would get on anyones last nerve!!

By Fionadeassis on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:18 am:

OMG!!!! That sounds horrible! I hate when stuff like that is happening because it seems like you can't figure out a solution when you are in the moment(like with colic).....

I am sure the whole thing has to do with attention and possibly you being pregnant. Maybe Dh is treating you differently and Ds can sense that something is going on(possibly something to him that is going to change how he is treated)....

I can't think of any really good solutions...only maybe when Dh comes home he could immediately take Ds out somewhere(maybe out to some cheap place to eat)...maybe Ds needs some total alone time with his Daddy until he has gotten used to the changes that ae happening...

Also-something that really helped us with my 3 year old when I was pregnant and we moved and Dh went to Brasil for a month...

Bach Rescue Remedy....it is homeopathic..so it is completely safe and is good for any kind of stress(I would never be without it in the house)....I use it for tantrums for any stress for all of us...

Don't know if you believe in homeopathy...but I find it works wonders..

You can usually find Rescue Remedy in most health food stores..

fiona

By Emily7 on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:36 am:

(((Kenna)))
I haven't had this happen, so no advice.

By Ladypeacek on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 11:46 am:

My dh tries everything with him to get him to play or color or anything but he just throws the stuff down. I dont see why it would be for attention cuz dh has always come home and spent the evening playing with him so that i could cook and dd could do her homework..it was a routine..but he just stopped one day and turned into a monster and now thats the rountine!!!!!

By Tink on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 12:06 pm:

JMHO, but I would plunk his bottom in a chair and tell him that when he wanted to act like a big boy, Daddy would love to play with him and then try to go about my normal routine. This is super hard to do because it usually leads to a "behavior spike" where the problem gets worse but it has worked in similar situations for us. I tend to be a bit more of a tough love parent and I would figure that he is getting more attention by throwing a fit. We started time-outs with my dks when they were about 18 months old. I can just imagine how frustrating this must be for the whole family. Similar to an infant with colic, but you expect a 2yo to be able to express himself a bit more. Lots of hugs and hope that it gets better.

By Amecmom on Friday, October 29, 2004 - 03:09 pm:

Oh, Kenna, I'm sorry he's doing this. It sounds to me, to echo the others, that he craves attention. It could even be that when Daddy comes home it disrupts the time that you and your son spend together and he does not like sharing his mommy.
I wish I had some suggestions for you. This is such a hard age, their language is so limited and they throw tantrums when they can't express their needs. Just be patient with him.
Ame