Help explaining...
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how babies are born. I didn't expect to have to think about this for a few more years as the boys are 4 and 2, but apparently I need to start figuring out how to do it. My sons know that mommy carries babies in her tummy, but now they want to know how the baby comes out. I don't want to lie to them, and I also don't want to get into detail. I just need a nice, little, short, 4 year old understandable explanation. KWIM?
How did you explain it? And out of curiosity, how old were dks?
First I asked them exactly what they wanted to know (about age 4 and 5 they all asked). One very specifically wanted to know how it came out of my belly. I explained that mommys were made with a special place called a birthing canal where the baby comes out. Just like we have a hole to pee and poop out of, there was one just for babies. When the baby gets big enough, this opens up and the doctor helps it out.
No one had any other questions, mine are almost 14,12 and 10, no one has asked how it gets in there. Although with my two oldest they know sex causes it, but I never explained exactly what sex is.
lol - when my oldest was 5, I became pregnant with #3, I tried to explain it to her with all the correct terms. She told her kindergarten class, during show and tell, that babies grow in a "cuterus" and that is why they are so cute.
I am friends with her kindergarten teacher, and dd is now almost 17, and her K teacher still remembers this.
Colette, that's funny! LOL!
I don't have any real advice just another funny. Ds was 4 when I was pregnant with dd and he was very interested yet never asked how she got out. I guess he figured he knew because one day near the end of the pregnancy he said "Mama your belly is so big. It sure is gonna hurt when you gotta throw up that baby!"
I think Kaye's response about the birth canal is a great answer.
I always explained with correct terms. Addison was not pleased with my description. He wanted to know every last detail. There was a show on the Discovery channel about the miracle of birth. I let him watch it and he sat there through it all (his sister walked out). He was pleased that he had all his answers and that was it.
You have to determine how much information they are ready for. Addison can handle ALL the info. Jessica, at that time, could not.
My kids asked about 4 and 5 too. And again at probably 6 and 7.
For a while they thought that the baby got cut out, like a C-Section, and I just went with that because. Well, that IS one way it happens. But once they were older we told them pretty much what Kaye said. That mommy's have a special hole for the baby to come out of, just like the pee and poop hole. They grossed out and said "that must HURT!" I told them, " not if you get the epidural!  "
When they asked how the baby got in there, i felt they were way to young to know exactly how it happened, so I told them that THAT is up to GOD, GOD decides when it is time for you to have a baby. Or something like that. But they know that you have to love each other, and be married before you have a baby.
Thank GOD they don't watch Nickelodeon and have no idea who Jamie Lynn Spears is That would throw them off.
I like Kaye's remark about the birthing canal, and I totally ditto Yvonne. I did much the same thing she did. When Jen was 5, she became very curious about sex/how babies were made and how they got here, and our pediatrician gave me a book to read to the kids that explained it in the most basic terms, leaving out a lot of details they would not understand, and certainly didn't need to know at that age.
It's natural for kids to be curious, but keep in mind, when you're having these conversations with them, you only need to tell them simple, basic things, because they will only absorb/comprehend as much as their young minds will allow.
I am a VERY FIRM believer in sex education for kids. I think they are much better off knowing the proper names of body parts, knowing what happens, etc., and getting the facts and information from HOME is much better, IMO, than finding out from their friends, etc.
I believe you should *constantly* be talking to your kids about this stuff - you start when THEY start asking these questions, and you continue throughout their childhood/teenage years, telling them as much as they can process at a particular age.
At some point, they really need to know all the facts and all the details for their own health and protection! And by details, I mean the sexual act, birth control, diseases, and especially teaching them the importance of WAITING to begin a sexual relationship.
Don't kid yourselves, there are kids in elementary school experimenting with sex these days. I find that just heartbreaking. They are KIDS. But it's happening. Very common in middle school, and I'd be willing to bet that most of those kids have NO CLUE about the consequences or risks of having sex at that age.
I used to tell mine that their virginity was a gift, it made them special, and they should save that gift to give to the right person. Preferably when they got married, but I am realistic, and I knew there was the chance that wasn't going to happen.
So, given that, I talked to them about the consequences of sexual relationships. How it wasn't just a physical thing, particularly for girls. How you can't *undo* it once it's done. How you are truly sleeping with everyone the other person has slept with and everyone their partners have slept with. The risk of diseases - the ones that you have for life, or the ones that can kill you. The risk of becoming infertile due to those diseases. The risk of pregnancy. The emotional consequences of having sex. The fact that an unwanted pregnancy will change your life forever, even if you choose to give the baby up. The fact that casual sex really isn't all that casual, and is quite unhealthy, emotionally and physically.
You have to teach them how to not give in to the peer pressure they will inevitably face, how not to give in to a boyfriend or girlfriend who is pressuring them to have sex. How having sex just ONE time can expose them to an STD, or an unwanted pregnancy. All these things will affect the rest of their lives, and affect their emotional well being.
I realize this thread started off being about YOUNG kids asking about how babies are born. But the fact is, once they start asking, you need to talk to them honestly, giving the minimal amount of information necessary to satisfy their curiosity, and continue to educate them as they grow. And you should remember that as they get older, they might not come to YOU to ask these questions. Some kids are embarrassed to ask. And sadly, some parents are not comfortable talking to their kids about this stuff. But you HAVE to do it, for their own education and protection. It's part of your job, as a parent.
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