Frustrated
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2004:
Frustrated
Ds is 31 months old & I am trying to potty train him. We introduced him to the potty at a year, just leaving in the room & explaining what it does.
He has gone to the bathroom in it a number of times but prefers the big toilet. I don't like giving him access to the bathroom though.
For the last few days he has been going potty in his diaper, taking it off, putting his pants back on, & then going on the floor. I ask him several times a day if he needs to go but he refuses.
Any suggestions?
Maybe he's just not ready yet? Does he seem to like the idea of potty training?
I know there are lots of moms here that have had experience with this!
Emily,
I never used the potty seat with my son. He preferred the real toilet,also. Your son is still quite young, so don't stress yourself out over it. Some children take longer than others.
When I got fed up with diapers and my children showed a great deal of interest in training we had a 3 day sit home..lol
Basically,
I kept my children in the house for three full days, no diapers or anything tha covered that area..LOL and if they had an accident we went straight to the toilet. I always used some type of reward system, and both of my kids were trained by the 3rd day. Goodluck
I just keep hearing from family that he should be trained by now. That boys are the easiest to train. It just gets me down because I feel like I am doing something wrong. I don't yell at him for having an accident, I just tell him that he need to use the toilet instead of the floor.
He does act interested in the toilet on certain days Robin. In fact he went pee & poop on the toilet 3 times yesterday.
I think I will try the 3 day thing you mentioned Stori.
I watched the Dr. Phil evening special & he had a 1 1/2 year old trained in a day...maybe I should send Joe to Dr. Phil.
If he isn't completely ready am I doing harm trying it now?
We never used the potty seat, my boys did better sitting backward on the big potty. I also let my boys run around the house for a few days naked and that helped them go to the potty.
You are not doing anything wrong Em. Just keep doing what you are doing. Repetition is key. He will get a hang of things soon enough. Don't listen to your family. Every kid is different. The 3 day thing stori mentioned might work. Good luck, and let us know how things go. If it works for you, I might try it on Rylee when she gets older.
I think boys are easier to potty train but they potty train, on average, 9 months later than girls so I think he is still a little younger than the average boy. My son also preferred the toilet and we let him use it as long as he asked us first. We also did a sit home training session with all of mine and they were *most* of the way trained by the end of it. I used a timer set for 30 minutes and no matter what, we tried when the timer went off. The first day they were rewarded if they tried without fussing about leaving the activity they were in the middle of. Next 2 days they were only rewarded if there was some *evidence* at the end of the attempt.
I don't think you are doing any damage by trying to train him now. If you were the type of parent that was duct taping him to the potty chair (it's been done!) or spanking him for the accidents, it would be a whole different story. BUT I know from your posts that you have a good head on your shoulders and that what you are doing is fine. Keep trying! I don't know too many kids that graduate from high school in Pampers (and plenty of parents weren't sure when they were in the middle of training.)
BTW, I think I saw that Dr. Phil episode and the issue with that little boy was that he COULD, he just WOULDN'T. Big difference.
PLEASE ignore your family members that are saying he *should be trained already* and *boys are easier to train*... Each *child* is different. Listen to *your* ds and let him guide the process. Provide him with the tools and information, as you have already done. When he is fully ready he will just *do it* and it wont be stressful for you at all. I learned this by the 3rd boy. LOL Wish I had known when I was training the 1st one (however, he(oldest ds) was pretty easy and he did learn fairly early-- but in retrospect it was because *he* just happen to be ready).
I had one that only used the big toilet--we put a step stool in front of it if he wanted to stand (like Dad) other times he sat on it. The other two started with a potty chair in the bathroom and then moved on to the big toilet as they felt ready.
We always trained in warm weather months so the kids could run around naked or with no underwear on under their shorts.
My middle ds was very hard to train when it came to going #2 on the potty. He had a terrible fear of the poo. He would go hide in the corner and go in his diaper instead of going on the potty. If we caught him in time and tried to help him poo on the potty he would literally burst into a crying fit--like he was losing an arm or something!! LOL I read that some toddlers really can have a fear of the poo leaving there body. I was really glad when he was finally trained. lol
My last ds I barely did anything. About a week before his 3rd bday we put a potty chair in the bathroom and casually told him if he wanted to use it he could. After he turned 3 I would walk in the bathroom and find him going #1 on his own. When he would go #2 in his diaper I would casually say if you want to, you can go #2 on the potty also. One day he said he wanted to go poo on the potty and he did. He is 4-1/2 now and has been trained since the 1st month he turned 3 yrs. He wanted me to wipe him until he turned 4--then he decided he was ready to learn to wipe himself. He still wears a pull up at night. However, I was a bedwetter and so far 2 of my ds have been bedwetters. They say its hereditary. Ds chooses to sleep in pull ups so I let him. He is having more and more nights where he wakes up in a *dry* pull up now. So I think it wont be long he will be choosing to try and sleep without the pull-ups.
You are doing a great job!! Just keep doing what you are doing and dont compare your ds progress to anyone elses (and ignore your family when they try to do this--because thats just not fair to your ds!) Good luck. It wont be long and you will be thru this phase and on to the next one's. LOL!
I have a ds that has recently informed me he is going to *die* if he doesnt get a cell phone. I think that will be just tragic. I wasnt aware of the medical conditions not having a cell phone could cause a kid? hmmmmm I told him I was going to DIE if he didnt keep his room cleaner. He just rolled his eyes at me and mumbled something????
Both of my boys were trained to sit and pee at first. This seemed easier for them. They always used the big potty. I too would let them run around naked and would tell them every 10-15 min. that we were going to go try to potty. I would sit him down and if nothing happened for a few min. I would let him back up and try again 10 min. later. When the trip to the potty finally produced pee I would clap, sing, jump up and down, really make quite the fool out of myself and make him laugh and want to do it again. This made him realize that it was a big deal to be a big boy! A few days of this and some prizes for him when he did it and he was trained. Of course at night and on long car trips I would still us pull ups. Try to make it fun, make him want to go potty. If this does'nt work don't worry. He will do it eventually. I remember getting real frustrated and someone told me..."Can you think of any big kid that is'nt toilet trained?" All kids will finally do it, they just do it when they are ready.
Good luck!
Mara
Thank you guys. You have made me feel so much better. I think toilet training has been the hardest challenge, but I know bigger ones are to come.
Just let it go in my book Timmy was almost 4 when he was fully trained as long as they are not going to preschool in diapers then don't worry about it they will learn.
And I have never heard that boys are easier. Good luck and don't stress it will happen.
Just for the record...my DS was harder to train than my 2 DD's were!
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