Ds has been in school for a month. He is at a small catholic school. They added a 1st grade class this year and he got the new teacher. She has done some things that I have not been thrilled about, but I am trying to be understanding about her being new. However, today she sent home some makeup work for ds (he was out sick one day this week) and she had our last name spelled wrong on all of them. This just really rubbed me the wrong way. I went through them after my ds completed the work and crossed out the incorrect spelling and wrote it the right way. It is not a hard last name or a common one that is spelled differently. I guess it just makes me feel like she is not making much of an effort to really get to know my child. I know there are a lot of teachers/former teachers on this board. What do you think of this. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude about her(dh didn't like her from the start) but this isn't helping.

By Kate on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:34 pm:

That would definitely bother me, but is it possible your name is wrong on her attendance list from the office? Perhaps the OFFICE made the mistake and not HER? I'd go in and ask to see the roll sheet or whatever, telling her you just want to double check that it's correct so the report cards and such are right.

By Debbie on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:39 pm:

No Kate, the office has it right. All the paperwork I get from them is right. Also, she did send paperwork at the beginning of the year and it was right.

By Kate on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:54 pm:

Then it would bother me. On its own it might not be THAT big a deal, but if she's done other things that concern you I can see why it's more of an issue than on its own. I'm sure a new teacher is overwhelmed and her confidence might be low, but this seems both a simple thing to get right, as well as a simple mistake to make....keep your ears and eyes open. Is she good with the kids? That would be my main concern.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 07:00 am:

My first thought was the same as Kate's. It could be something as simple as a typo on the original class list from the office. Actually, this happened to me when I was teaching! LOL! The student pointed it out, and I felt awful. Definitely mention it to her.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 07:47 am:

Ditto Kate!

By Kaye on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 07:48 am:

If it all happened in one day, I think I would try to not let it bother me. I know that I have a neice who's name is unusally spelt, so when I see that name normal I notice and most times get it right, but when I am in a hurry and start to write it, I just miss, kind of a brain lapse. I think one of the hardest things about sending your kids to school are those times when you just don't feel like they love your child like he deserves! It happens way too often.

By Debbie on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 08:19 am:

I guess it really bothers me because of the other things that have happened. One major incident happened last week. Ds fell out of his chair in class and hit his face on the desk. When he got home the whole side of his face was noticably swollen and starting to bruise. I was upset that no one called me. I asked him if the nurse had put ice on it and checked his teeth. He said no, he didn't get sent to the nurse. He said that his teacher just asked him if he was okay. He said "yes". Well, he is not one to complain, so he didn't say anything(which I know he has to work on) But, how did she not notice the swelling and bruising?? He sits right in the front. It was the first thing I noticed when he walked out of school. When I called her to talk about it, she got really defensive and said "he said he was okay" and that if it was swollen she would have sent him to the nurse??? Well, it was extremely swollen and turing purple along his cheekbone. She then went on about how the kids always lean back in their chairs and she is always telling them to stop. She said Jordan does this all the time. I tried to explain to her that I was not upset about the accident, just how it was handled. It happened early in the day, so it makes me wonder if she really looked at him all day. He still has a bruise a week later. There have been other things too. I guess that is why it bothers me so much.

By Hdelfuego on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 08:39 am:

I taught high school so there are too big of differences to give any advice. I know when I taught I had around 140 students and within a few weeks I knew almost all if not all their names. If a teenager would have fallen out of his seat, well...I would know they would tell me if something was wrong. But, there's also a huge chance that he was really embarrased about falling and getting hurt that he just didn't want to draw anymore attention. If something like that would have happened to one of my students they would probably never live it down with the other students and if it was girl, she'd probably cry. I know I would.

By Kate on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 09:48 am:

Okay the chair incident is troubling. I would think a new teacher would be OVERLY cautious about things like that. She should NOT have gotten defensive when you called as you seem to have been calm and non accusatory. He's only what, six years old? She definitely needs to be more in tune with little ones and they sure are accident prone. I'm sure they DO lean back in their chairs all the time and I'm sure she DOES tell them to stop, but she needs to be realistic, too. Your son fell and maybe she thought it was a good lesson for him. I certainly don't agree with witholding 'treatment' for him just to teach him a lesson!! He should have seen the nurse when he started to swell and you should have been called. My first grader came home one day with a huge bruise on her back. She had fallen against these absurd 'stumps' they have of varying heights the kids jump (get hurt) on. Her teacher (also brand new) helped her, but apparently didn't feel comfortable lifting her shirt to check her back. Both my teacher and your teacher need to learn what authority they have and what boundaries they can cross, etc. Probably your teacher felt she didn't want to go overboard by sending him to the nurse, and my teacher didn't want to get too personal by lifting her shirt. Hopefully they'll both learn. BUT, if your son was swollen it was OBVIOUS he should have been seen. I'd keep a log of all these incidents and have a conference. If she gets defensive again, I'd take it to the principal, telling him you've tried working with the teacher in a calm manner, but she won't work with YOU or accept any responsiblity. Good luck.

By Cat on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 11:21 am:

The name thing alone probably wouldn't bother me. I'd just think she was having a brain fart or something (pardon the phrase! lol). The falling incident would bother me. When one of the kids in my care gets hurt, I check them to see if they're okay and then decide 1. is this something serious that needs medical attention (I've never had this happen, thankfully), 2. is this something that mom and dad should know about before they come get their child or 3. is this something that I can just tell them about when they get picked up. I've called parents several times to say, "Hey, your ds/dd fell this morning and is going to have a bruise" or whatever. I always appreciate a call if one of my kids gets hurt at school, but no, it doesn't always happen. Randy got pushed last year and scraped his leg pretty bad. He DID go to the nurse and she put a big bandage on it (like a 4" square) but no one called me. I was a bit upset about that. On the flip side, when Robin was in 1st grade someone threw a rock (about golf ball size) and it hit him in the head. He had a little bump, no bleeding or anything or complaining, and the school called me and made me come pick him up because it was "a head injury." I think that was a little over cautious, but I guess you can't be too careful. So I guess it's each person's judgement call, and it sounds like your ds's teacher needs to re-examine her judgement. Have you had conferences yet? Ours are next week. I'd keep a list of concerns you have to bring up to her. AND like Kate mentioned, keep a list of all these things that have happened for your own records just in case you ever have to use it. Good luck and {{{{{Debbie and Ds}}}}}. Let us know what happens.

By Mommmie on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 01:30 pm:

I am not troubled by the name thing. My son came home yesterday with a note with our last name spelled wrong (it can be spelled with an "i" or a "y") and it's a lifetime thing to have to deal with and I'm just used to it. (Even though I pay $15,000/yr for this school, I don't think it's a big deal.)

I am concerned about your gut instinct that something is not right. Does this teacher have a teaching certificate? Classroom experience? An education degree? Has she taught this grade before? Was she selected bec she has a child in the school?

I withdrew my son from a private religious school bec my gut instinct said something was wrong. Turns out the teacher had no certificate, education degree or experience and was going through a divorce and was given this position bec her sister had kids at the school and she would be able to place her son there for free. She was simply HORRIBLE and her teaching career was very short. (I withdrew my son after 2 months, but I heard from others she was eventually moved to the office the next year.)

That's the risk of private schools, esp low paying religious ones. Have you checked out her resume?

By Debbie on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 01:51 pm:

Laura, yes she does have a teaching certificate and classroom experience. I love the school and all of the teachers there. In fact, my other ds has a wonderful teacher. I also have a very good relationship with the principal and I really like her. I know that she would not hire a teacher that she felt was not qualified. This school has a wonderful reputation that is why we choose it. This teacher taught previously in the public school system and then stayed home several years while her children were young. Her children are now in school full time and she is returning to work.

One thing that has crossed my mind is that this is a very strict school. The principal is strict and so are all the teachers. However, everyone also is very friendly, compassionate and willing to go out of their way. I don't know if she is having a problem with being strict. That she is not realizing that you can be strict, but also compasionate and feeling. I don't know. My ds says that she is not one of his favorite teachers, but she is okay. I guess she just doesn't seem to be "really into" the kids. That is my concern. She doesn't seem to be lacking in her teaching skills. My ds is learning and loves school, so she is not effecting that. I just don't like how she handles certain things. She comes off as very unfeeling sometimes.

By Eve on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 02:15 pm:

I have absolutely no experience in this area, but yes it would bother me! Can you set up a meeting with the principle and the teacher and voice your concerns? I'd give it a bit longer and see if it gets any better. Can he move classrooms? I really hope it gets better!

By Mommmie on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 04:47 pm:

Well, this may sound tacky. My son has been in both public and private and your child's comment that she's not really into the kids, I think, comes from the public school background and is very perceptive. This was my experience with all of my son's teachers in public. There was an "arms length distance" (figuratively and emotionally and literally) between the public school teachers and the students that has not been there in my son's current private school. The public teachers my son had didn't small talk with the kids, didn't say, I love you to the kids, didn't touch the kids or put their arms around their shoulders when they walked down the hall, didn't really like or respect the kids - which is not the way it is in this current private school (yet is the strictest school in town). Maybe that's it. I don't know, I'm just guessing. I'm glad she's not a real problem yet. Maybe she'll warm up. Maybe she's overwhelmed from getting her curriculum set up.

I took my aunt, a public school teacher, up to my son's school to open house and she said she could never work there because it would be too much work to do what they do. The private school kids call their teachers at home and the public ones keep unlisted phone numbers so no one can call them or figure out where they live. It's very different and one of the reasons I took my son out (besides the fact they couldn't teach him how to read and write).

I don't know, just brainstorming with you...

By Luvn29 on Friday, October 1, 2004 - 10:11 pm:

From my experience with other kids and with my own... teachers are overwhelmed with kids having accidents and needing to go to the nurse. The nurse is overwhelmed with those students that make daily visits to her office. So the teacher tries to very careful in who she sends.

This may have been an issue brought up to the teacher when she first started, to not get used to sending students to the nurse for every little thing. Maybe it's been difficult for her to figure out when she needs to.

However, this said, I would still be upset, especially because of the bruising and swelling. Could your son have maybe kept his head down on his desk, thus, keeping her from seeing it? Could it have maybe worsened suddenly? With an accident like that, I do believe a child should be sent to the nurse regardless.

Now, here's my story. My little girl went on a field trip to the park at the end of last year. She was sitting on playground equipment with her legs outstreched and a little boy fell over them. She said she cried and she couldn't get up at first, and someone had to go get her teacher.

After a while, she said she was able to play again, but it still hurt. School was out the next week, but her leg continued hurting, even though she was still running around playing.

Finally, two weeks later, I took her to the dr., he did an x-ray, "just to be safe", and sure enough, the smaller bone was broken, not fractured, but broken in two.

I went to the principal that summer, and found out an accident report had not even been filed when she came back from the trip, even though it is school regulation that anytime there is any type of accident like that, the teacher is required to.

The teacher was reprimanded and "reminded" of the rules, and the school's insurance is paying for the hospital bills.

It really sucks that our kids can't get the one on one attention they deserve in the place they spend more awake time than home. But what can we do, other than be very observant, and be the "squeaky wheel" in circumstances that need attention.

I hope your son is feeling better and that you get things straightened out with this teacher.

By Pamt on Saturday, October 2, 2004 - 10:16 am:

We weren't too thrilled with my youngest son's teacher at all last year either, so I know where you are coming from. And, like you, it wasn't any one big thing and she certainly was teaching---it was just her attitude and interaction. (Last year was her first year at our school and she left and went to another school this year). I don't know if the name thing would bother me or not since our last name gets misprounounced and misspelled all of the time. However, the fall with no subsequent call or report would definitely bother me. My 2nd grader fell into the stairs last week and hit the side of his head really hard. He was immediately taken to the school nurse and then they got my DH (who works at the church where the school is) to come look at it. Noah had a huge goose-egg and a head ache, but was okay. However, I would have been very concerned if they had not contacted us.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, October 4, 2004 - 01:12 am:

I have similar stories to tell. Ds goes to a public school that is within walking distance (he takes a school bus). I haven't been thrilled with either of his first two teachers at this school building. (The first year he attended an early kindergarten program held in another elementary school building and we had great results and I know that this is a good district.)

His K teacher was brand new- he was her second K class ever, so she was young and perky and unskilled. Nonetheless, he got through just fine.

Last year was first grade, and his teacher had 29 years experience, so at first I had no worries. But then, at the middle mark of the year, everything went on a downhill spiral. He was constantly being held in for recess because he didn't do his work and he got sent home twice because, well, he was just being difficult. The more I talked with the teacher, the more I could see she was EXTREMELY frustrated. Not just with my ds, but with 4 or 5 other troublemakers in the class as well. One boy had frequent outbursts of anger, and the others simply didn't listen and follow directions. She became judgemental and impatient and in need of a BREAK. One time I called her she went on and on about how she had such a horrible time with the kids and had a notion of taking the rest of the year off with her accumulated vacation time. When I suggested that sounded good, she suddenly decided that the class simply couldn't get along without her, as if they relied on her for every little thing and simply no one could fill her shoes. I thought of saying that maybe it's the KIDS who needed a break from HER, but I knew that would tick her off.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the adult's mood and manner sets the tone for the children, whether it is in a home or in a school. If the teacher if overwhelmed and frustrated, she will not be productive. Kids need bonding and positive reinforcement, and if you don't feel that your ds is getting that at this point, it behooves you to do something. Maybe the teacher needs more help getting into the groove. Offer to help in any way you can so that it doesn't look like you are just being critical. Pour on a little honey with the vinegar and you may get a better response. Take care of it now, or else it will fester all year until the entire class, teacher included, just can't wait for the year to be over with.