My baby ds who will be 5 soon just started preschool this fall. Prior to that he's been at home w/my parents. Lots of love.. lots of spoiling. As a result, he's behind socially and not as mature as the others. He's also by nature gentle & isn't really into boy things such as sports and doesn't like rough-housing. He prefers board games, reading, drawing etc. Well the boys in his class are really rough and hyper! Lots of physical contact. His teacher said this was the roughest grp of boys she's ever had in over 10 years. As a result, my ds is left out. None of the boys play with him. Ds has only one friend, a little girl.Over the weekend I took him to a birthday party & only the boys were invited. Ds was completely left out. Though he's shy he did attempt to fit in but couldn't. He said to me he has no friends in his class. I felt so sad for him. There is one other class his age where he's friends with a couple of the boys who share a simliar temperament to my ds. Would you consider having your ds switched to a different group? He's starting kindergarten in the fall & I want to build his self-esteem & I'm not sure by staying in his current group whether that can happen. I thought about inviting some of the boys for a playdate but have mixed feelings about it because they are so rough - pushing, tackling etc. I don't want him to learn these behaviors. Thanks for listening.

By Kate on Monday, January 28, 2008 - 02:11 pm:

I would switch him immediately, while you still have several months for him to enjoy his preschool experience. I don't see any point in keeping him where he is...he'll only pick up bad habits and start to feel like he isn't a normal boy because he doesn't act like the other boys. I sure wish your son and nice boys like him were in MY two dds' classes!! So glad to know there are decent boys out there.

By Tklinreston on Monday, January 28, 2008 - 02:29 pm:

His teacher mentioned to me that he doesn't mingle with "the boys" that much because his temperament is so different but that he is still doing well. She says he plays with a little girl and sometimes this one boy off and on. But when I witnessed the birthday party 1st hand, I saw to what degree ds was left out. I will speak to his teacher tomorrow and get her feedback.

By Tarable on Monday, January 28, 2008 - 03:53 pm:

I would move him.. I went through something similar with my youngest when she was in pre school. At 3 she was really tall for her age and all the other 3 yr old girls were very small so they wouldn't have anything to do with her so they moved her into the pre-k room and she did pre-k 2 years and loved every second of it. After the switch she actually wanted to go to "school" on weekends too.

By Reds9298 on Monday, January 28, 2008 - 07:26 pm:

I would also switch. I haven't experienced this, but we had to make a preschool switch this year after about 2 months. I was worried and scared about it, but it has been such a great change for my dd. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

By Kaye on Monday, January 28, 2008 - 09:06 pm:

I can just attest to the fact, if you are thinking about it, the answer is yes. Kids are so sensitive at this young age, you don't want them in a bad fit for them. he is much better off at home than in an unhappy environment.

By Tklinreston on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 - 12:59 pm:

I agree with all of you. I asked my ds yesterday about possibly switching to the other group and he said "no". He has adapted to going every morning and doesn't put up a fight anymore. I know he doesn't want to move because he's used to his group. I don't want to upset him but I know the move will be bettr for him in the long run.

By Tonya on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 - 02:00 pm:

Maybe see if the school and your DS are willing to give him a few days trial run in the other class room. Maybe after DS is in it he will see he is having more fun with kids that are more like him. Good luck.

By Beth on Wednesday, January 30, 2008 - 12:45 pm:

The only thing I can see where this might be a problem is if this other class has already paired off. I mean he is coming into the year pretty late. Kids that age do pair off and unfortunately not always willing to let others in. If this were the case, he might feel worse to feel "rejected" by yet another class. That is a really tough call. Maybe you could have one boy at a time for a playdate. It wouldn't be as bad as a couple of boys. Also he might try more of the stuff your son likes to do. Or meet a parent at McDonald's or something. Sorry for your son. That has to be painful.