I saw this article in our local paper and thought it might help those of you who are in the middle of, or thinking of starting toilet training.

Taking on toilet-training
By Rx for Health
Dr. Mark Su


A child's toilet training period can be seemingly effortless for some families, but for other parents, it can be a time filled with multiple frustrations and questions.

Some of these questions include: When should I start talking about toilet training with my child's doctor? What are some clues that my child is ready to toilet train? Should I use a potty chair, or just have my child train on the bathroom toilet? What about those pull-ups or underpants? And, my child seems old to still be wetting the bed at night...? Below are some solutions to these and other questions.

If your doctor does not initiate the discussion on toilet training by the time your child is 2 years old, consider bringing it up yourself. For most children, their readiness and desire to toilet train converge around 2 1/2 years old. However, it is not uncommon for children to receive a potty chair as a gift some time before then, even at his or her first birthday. If this occurs, put the chair away until your child regularly signals in some way that he or she is about to go in the diaper.

Other signs and steps toward readiness for toilet training include developed communication skills (to express the desire to use the toilet), a developed sense of anticipation, the ability to hold urine for several hours, the ability to undress and get onto a toilet or potty chair, and an eagerness to please. If your child learns to use the toilet at an early age, for example between 15 and 18 months, he or she may later regress because it is no longer a novelty. This is another reason to not train too early. But if they do learn and revert, put them back in diapers with no sense of disappointment — your child will signal when he or she is again ready for good.

When it comes time to toilet train, three general guidelines can be suggested. First, have boys sit down for both toilet functions until they master going in the potty chair. Second, use a potty chair: Toilets are too big, and falling in or off of one may cause psychological trauma. Third, withhold the use of underpants with enticing designs until your child has been dry for at least a week; once there's a soiling accident in the underpants, the excitement is gone.

A few additional pointers are worth mentioning:

n Be aware that initiating toilet training during a child's rebellious, oppositional stage can fuel power struggles. Additionally, if a child has oppositional issues in other or all areas of life but seems ready for toilet training, work on those other areas first. However, if toileting is the only problem, take a no-nonsense approach over several days. The project ends when all poops are in the potty for several days.

n If your child pees in the potty chair but poops in hiding, and then demands an instant diaper change, don't rush to fulfill the demand — this affirms his or her action.

n If he or she has a hard stool, your child may try to avoid defecating. Such a child may appear to be trying to defecate, when actually he or she is trying to hold it in. Use a stool-softening agent to break the physical and psychological avoidance cycle, aiming for two soft stools per day until no memory of the pain is apparent.

n Around the third year of age, boys especially may become seemingly possessive or attached to their stools as they explore their body parts and gender. They may then act this out in the issue of toileting — they may not like to see the stools be flushed away. Assure them repeatedly, recognizing this as a potential issue.

n A child who knows how to use the potty but seems to make no time for it needs to have timed toileting (for example, sitting on the toilet every 1 to 1 1/2 hours). Use a reward system if needed.

I mentioned above that children can have traumatic experiences while toilet training. Desensitize such learners with exposures or pictures, then retry training by beginning with sitting on the toilet fully clothed, then naked later, progressing toward using the toilet for its actual purposes.

By Angellew on Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 02:48 pm:

Thanks Collette!!! I'm just starting to introduce my DD to the potty, and this is a big help! Right now, she likes to sit on it and ask for a "tissue" and simulates wiping, but the minute I try to take her diaper off, she runs... so, obviously, I have a ways to go. But, every bit of info helps!