I am looking for some ideas for dealing with my 18 month old DD. Now that she can climb onto everything we are having a very hard time with getting her not to stand on the furniture. She knows that she is misbehaving because when I tell her no and come toward her to take her down she immediately sits down and giggles. I try counting to three, redirection, time out. I praise her when she sits correctly on the furniture. She is constantly testing the limits and I hate the way I sound saying no all of the time. Does anyone have any suggestions?

By Amyk on Sunday, August 15, 2004 - 09:12 pm:

From Dr. Phil's site:

Age-Appropriate Discipline Techniques

The disciplining techniques parents use should be based on age-appropriate expectations. For example, explaining to a 13-month-old why she is being punished for hitting her sibling isn't going to get you very far if she can't yet understand reasoning. Using guidelines outlined by the American Academy of Family Physicians, Dr. Phil suggests the following discipline techniques and when they are effective to use.


Positive Reinforcement
Focusing on good behavior instead of bad behavior. Parental attention is one of the most powerful forms of positive reinforcement.


Redirecting
This technique literally involves the simple act of redirecting your child to appropriate behavior.


Verbal Instruction/Explanation
Going over what you want your child to do and why can help him/her develop good judgment.


Time-outs
Time-outs involve physically removing your child from a problem situation. Sending your child to a neutral and "boring" area, such as the corner of a room with no toys or television, and ignoring him/her until he/she is calm and quiet. Time-outs should not last longer than five minutes. One minute of time-out per year of life is a good rule of thumb.


Establishing Rules
Explain your rules and be prepared to repeat them until your child learns to follow them on his/her own.


Grounding
A technique effective with school-age children and teenagers, it involves restricting your child to a certain place, usually home or his/her room, as punishment. For example, "grounding" your child on a Saturday night as punishment for breaking curfew on Friday night.


Withholding Privileges
Children should learn that privileges come with responsibility and they need to be earned. In order to be effective, this technique should be used infrequently. A privilege that is valued by the child, such as watching television or playing with friends, should be removed.

Birth to 18 Months

Effective:

Positive Reinforcement

Redirecting

Ineffective:

Verbal Instruction/Explanation

Time-outs

Establishing Rules

Grounding

Withholding Privileges

18 Months to 3 Years

Effective:

Positive Reinforcement

Redirecting

Verbal Instruction/Explanation

Time-outs

Ineffective:

Establishment of Rules

Grounding

Withholding Privileges


HTH -

Amy

By Coopaveryben on Sunday, August 15, 2004 - 09:21 pm:

I can't remember who it was on this site, I believe Eve, but she suggested love and logic parenting. This worked great with my 18 month old. When they do something they are not supposed to do you just say, "uh oh" and take them to their crib. They have a web site that explains this in more detail. I'm sure Eve or someone else who is more familiar can give you more detail too.

By Coopaveryben on Sunday, August 15, 2004 - 09:22 pm:

http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Here is the link

By Marcia on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 12:27 am:

>>


This is the best thing you can do, but it has to be done properly. The idea is to remove the child from the activity without giving any eye contact or verbal direction. Simply take her by the hand and walk her to something that she should be doing. When she's doing it, give lots of positive reinforcement for doing the accepted behaviour. Kids love attention, and negative attention is still attention. If they don't get any positive or negative attention for a behaviour, it will stop.

I've also tried some love and logic stuff, but didn't know about it until a year ago. I've used some of it with my hormonally crazy 11 year old, and it's worked well. I would still focus on redirection and positive reinforcement with a toddler, because toddlers don't always know what the accepted behaviour is yet. Receptive language and attention span aren't up to any sort of long explanation at that age.

As for the climbing, we bought a small Little Tikes climber and put it in the living room, because my first dd was a real climber. Worked like a charm!

By Marcia on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 12:28 am:

That's odd. I was quoting something from Amyk's reply, and it didn't show up. I was quoting the section on redirection.