My ds is almost 4 1/2 and still isn't night potty trained. He has been completely day trained for over a year now. Until about a month and a half ago he wore pull-ups at night, but he decided that he wanted to be a "big boy" and not wear them to bed any longer. So we let him wear underware to bed now, but about 5-6 out of every 7 nights he wets the bed. We have been encouraging and we have not scolded him for having accidents, we simply change the sheets. I have to admit that I am getting really tired of changing his bed and washing sheets almost every day! I suggested a few days ago that he start wearing pull-ups to bed again, but he didn't want anything to do with them because they are "baby". He is a very sound sleeper and I suspect that he is just sleeping so deeply that he isn't waking up when he has to go. We have tried limiting his drinks at night and that didn't help. Anyone BTDT? I'd like to at least know that I'm not the only one who has gone through this. None of my friends has had this problem with their dks so they really don't have any ideas other than limiting liquid intake. My poor little guy! He wants to be a big boy so bad.

By Amy~moderator on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:22 am:

I have BTDT. My ds at age 4 1/2 was wetting the bed about 3-4 nights a week. Now at age 5 1/2 he wets the bed about once every 3 weeks. I would give it some time honestly. I have talked to a couple of pediatricians about it, and they say wetting the bed is normal until age 6 or so. I would *definitely* limit liquids. The last drink my ds has is at dinner. Then about two hours later he goes to bed. It has really helped a lot, as well as his getting older I'm sure.

By Amy~moderator on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:23 am:

Oh, and I always keep a water proof pad under his sheets to protect the mattress. I also have him take off his bedding when he has accidents. Not as a punishment, but because he is a "big boy" and it is the responsible thing to do. I'm not really sure what has helped, but it is waning. I hth!

By Marcia on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:24 am:

One of my kids wet the bed until last year, and still has the occasional accident, and she's 9. She wore good nights, because I don't have the time or desire to do that much laundry. They made her feel better, too, because she didn't want a stinky room or bed.
I wet the bed until I was 12. Finally my mom realized I wasn't just a sound sleeper or lazy, and took me to a uroglogist. He just did a tiny procedure, and I never wet the bed again.
One thing I always do is take my kids to the washroom just before I go to bed. They always go, so I'm sure we'd have many more wet beds if I didn't.
Hang in there!!

By Melanie on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:43 am:

My ds just turned 7 and still has accidents pretty frequently. At his last visit the doctor ran some tests and they came up normal. She wasn't concerned, especially when I told her my dad had told me he had accidents until he was around 8. She told me if it's an issue that he won't go on sleepovers or anything like that there is medication she can prescribe, but neither of us were really interested in going that route unless necessary. So for now we are just waiting for him to outgrow it.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 11:22 am:

My DS wet the bed nightly until 7. We tried everything but to no avail. Our ped. wasn't concerned and said he doesn't treat bedwetting until 8 or 9. DS wore Good Nights, which are like Pull Ups but designed for bigger kids. Much easier and less stressful for everyone involved.

By Tunnia on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 02:07 pm:

Thanks for the responses! It is always nice to know that I'm not the only one going through things like this.

I do have a waterproof mattress pad for the bed, thank goodness or I'd have to scrub the mattress too. I'm glad to hear that those of you who have asked your ped have been told it's normal. I guess that I'll just try to wait it out although I'll mention it to his ped at his next appointment. Gosh I hope it doesn't take him another 4-5 years to quit wetting the bed! It wouldn't bother me at all if he would wear the pull-ups, but he has some hang-up about them being for babies and refuses to wear them any longer.

By Bellajoe on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 02:31 pm:

My ds who is almost four has been day potty trained for about a year but still wet the bed. I had him in pull-ups but recently he decided he doesn't want to wear pull ups because "they are diapers and diapers are for babies". So i told him that was great, but he can't pee in the bed. I wasn't sure if it was a lazy thing or if he was that sound of a sleeper. So I made up a "dry bed " chart for him. Every morning he wakes up dry and makes it to the bathroom, he gets a sticker on his chart. Once he fills up his chart he gets a treat..i havn't decided what it is though. It may be that he gets to stay up later and watch a movie with mommy and daddy, or maybe an Ice cream cone or a trip to the park or something like that. It's actually been working. We've had this chart for a week and a half now and only once did he have an accident in the bed.

We also have a chart for staying in bed at bedtime. he used to get right out of bed and come downstairs at bedtime. he did the "i have to tell you something" thing and the "i need a drink of water" and "i need another kiss" thing. Just stalling. Now that we started the chart he hasn't gotten out of bed once...unless he needed to use the bathroom!

Of course charts don't work for all kids. I'm actually surprised it worked for him, but it did!

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 12:10 am:

I wet the bed myself till I was 7 or so I think. I had to take some little orange pill every night or I would wet the bed. If I took the med, I wouldn't. It was probably a DDAVP, now that I look back, but I don't really know.

I did go to the dr. for this, and we found it was a problem with my bladder.

Please, please, please be patient and understanding. Trust me, your child would do anything possible not to wet the bed. It kills me when I see parents punish the child or humiliate them for this problem. Do they not understand it is punishment enough having to go through the embarrassment and humiliation of wetting the bed and then having to change clothing and bedding in the middle of the night?

It is a very normal thing, but if it lasts too long, I would get it checked out.

I am very fortunate, because often when a parent is a bedwetter because of medical reasons, their children will be, too. But neither of my children have ever had a problem with it.

Good luck!!!

By Feona on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 06:46 am:

I heard it is just the size of the bladder that causes bed wetting.

No ideas but pull ups.

By Feona on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 06:48 am:

My friends child bed wets. She puts a towel under him before bed.

By Tunnia on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 08:33 am:

Thanks again for all the encouragement! Bellajoe, your ds sounds a lot like mine. He gets up repeatedly at bed time and it usually takes a full hour before he will settle down and he thinks that pull-ups are "baby diapers" and is refusing to wear them. I think the reward chart is a good idea and I think I'll give it a try.

We never punish, humiliate, or yell at him for wetting the bed. He has been a sound sleeper from the day he was born and we are certain that he isn't wetting the bed on purpose. He just isn't waking up for the "gotta go" signals. I think Amy's idea of having him help me change the sheets is a good idea. I think it would help foster a feeling of "I'm a big boy and I can take control of this" even if the only thing he can take control of right now is helping change the bedding.

BTW, I'm not changing the sheets today. He woke up dry this morning!

By Colette on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 09:19 am:

It also might help to double make the bed - waterproof pad, sheets, waterproof pad, sheets and blankets. It's easier if you are taking the blankets off in the middle of the night, you don't have to remake the bed.


of course if he's sleeping all night and not waking up when he has an accident then this would be pointless. Good luck! I am glad he woke up dry today.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 10:44 am:

The problem may be stress of any sort. I wet the bed untill I was 16 due to stress of my parents fighting. I went through all the counseling you could imagine and was told I was a heavy sleeper. When my house burned down the insurance company put my family in a hotel room, all seperated in different rooms and I stopped wetting the bed, when we moved back in the house ater it was rebuilt I started wetting the bed. When my father finally left my mother and I went with him at age 16 it stopped. My younger sister also had the same problem untill my parents seperated. So maybe the problem is some sort of undesirable stress.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 11:05 am:

I was going to suggest double making the bed but Colette beat me to it.

I would try Good Nights. Tell him they're made for big kids. Lots of info at their web site:

GoodNights.com

By Tunnia on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 01:03 pm:

Double making the bed is a good idea, but I don't think it would help much because he generally sleeps right through wetting.

Unfortunately, it looks like the Good Nights are too big for him since he's only 34lbs. He wears a size 3t-4t pull-up. Thanks for the link, Trina! I'm going to go back there and do a little reading.

Anon, I am so sorry to hear that you grew up under so much stress. What a sad story. I have thought about it and I can't think of anything that might be a cause of major stress for my ds. The only thing I could think of is he is going back to school in a month, but he loves school and knows his teacher and is excited about going back and since this started a while back I don't really think that would cause it.

By Cat on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 01:16 pm:

It's totally normal for kids to wet the bed. I did until I was about 7 or 8, so did my brother. Go figure we both ended up with bedwetters. His son is now 13 1/2 and just stopped wetting the bed a couple years ago. Robin wet the bed 5 out of 7 nights until he was about 9. The best thing, I think, would be to try and determine why your ds's wetting. Is he just too sound a sleeper? Small bladder? Those are things he can't control and will just have to outgrow. Some kids are lazy and some do it for attention (we think my nephew did). Those issues along with possible stress need to be delt with differently than uncontrolable things like I mention earlier. We double made the bed (two sets of sheets and two waterproof matress pads) for easy changing during the night. It really is a pain, but you're child won't be wetting the bed forever. I think it's just one of those parenting phases we have to get through (as frustrating as it is). Good luck.

By Vicki on Tuesday, August 10, 2004 - 07:16 pm:

My dd is also a VERY sound sleeper. Until she was about 5ish, we did the same thing as Marcia in taking her to the bathroom before we went to bed at night. She usually went to bed between 8:30 and 9 and we go about 11 to 11:30. One of us would just go get her and take her to the bathroom and put her back to bed. I swear most nights she didn't even wake up all the way. LOL She didn't have any accidents though, so it was worth it.

By Lisairene on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 10:23 am:

hi, I'm new to this site, how do I find out what all these abbreviations mean? Ds? I have a 6 year old who still wets the bed. You can imagine after being in kindergarten she doesn't want to wear pull ups. So like the moderator, I keep the rubber pad under the sheets, limit the water before bed and my Pediatrician precribed: DDAVP. I crush the pill and put it in some applesauce and she likes it fine. It also comes in a nose spray, but she didn't like it. I'm very, very cautious with any medicine I give my children, so I read up on it. It's not a steroidal hormone or anything...

DDAVP Tablets contain as active substance, desmopressin acetate, a synthetic analogue of the natural hormone arginine vasopressin.
The use of DDAVP Tablets in patients with an established diagnosis will result in a reduction in urinary output with an accompanying increase in urine osmolality. These effects usually will allow resumption of a more normal life style, with a decrease in urinary frequency and nocturia.
In plain language, my doctor says that it's just a natural hormone (although synthetically made) which slows urine production through the night.
I'm not prescribing this, just sharing that it works very well, and no side effects. Lisa

By Katherine on Wednesday, August 11, 2004 - 07:46 pm:

My ds wet the bed until he was seven.

The doctor said that he could have a small bladder and that he was sleeping through wetting the bed. She suggested that we purchase an item called a"potty pager". It looks exactly like a pager, but it hooks to the front of the underwear. It is so sensitive, it starts to vibrate at the first drop of moisture. It would wake him up and he would have to go to the bathroom. No wet underwear though!

The only problem was after about a week, the potty pager disappeared, never to be found again! LOL!!! I can't imagine where he stashed that little sucker.

That was when he was about 6. He wet all the way up until his 7th birthday. This was the first and last time I ever said anything about his bed wetting. I told him he was getting so big, couldn't he try really hard not to wet the bed that night. He never wet the bed again.

If you are interested, you can find potty pagers online at http://www.pottypager.com/.

By Tunnia on Friday, August 13, 2004 - 10:25 am:

Thanks! I will check out the potty pagers. It sounds interesting.

By Kernkate on Saturday, August 14, 2004 - 06:46 pm:

DD will be 4 the end of Sept and she still wears pull ups to bed. I have tried letting her go to bed with her panties but she always wets! She is great all day with the potty until she is asleep. I am hoping she will grow out of it. I have tried everything. The potty pager sounds like a neat idea, I will have to check it out.
You think you are the only one going thru this until we bring it up here...thanks for letting me know I am not alone

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