Hi

I am new here, I have a 3month old son and his name is Joshua.

How old were your kids first time you left them with a sitter? I don't want to yet. Also what do you look for in a babysitter e.g age,qualifications etc and what rules do you set her.

Liz

By Karen~moderator on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 07:31 am:

Welcome to Momsview, Liz. When mine were that young, I only left them with family, but my DD had sleep apnea, and I couldn't leave her with anyone else.

Some things I would look for in a babysitter are:

Age
Maturity
Are they responsible
Have they taken any Red Cross or other certifited babysitting classes
Do they know infant CPR
Experience
References
Interaction with YOUR child

And one thing you always need to trust is your mommy instinct. If you ever get bad vibes about someone, do not leave your child in their care.

If you have friends who have used sitters in the past, talk to them about the ones they have used and if they seem worthwhile, check them out.

Word of mouth usually finds the best sitters, in my experience.

And you have the right to lay down any and all rules that YOU feel are appropriate. Hanging on the phone would be forbidden, IMO, as well as having any visitors while babysitting. It's up to you if you allow your babysitter to take your child out of your house. If your babysitter is of driving age, you need to be completely sure of her before you let her take your child in a car, and IF you let her, she MUST have an approved car seat for your child.

Other moms can probably thing of more things, that's it for me, for now!

By Lauram on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 09:02 am:

Well, my kids are 7 and 2 and we only used a sitter once (when my oldest was 2 1/2). We have used family for help and my kids have been in daycare/ homecare/ aupair care. Because I work, I can never "justify" leaving my kids when I don't have to be at work. THe thought of a teenager watching them makes me very nervous! I think it's about your own comfort level. Our whole lives changed when we had our first- now our social life revolves around FAMILY things that everyone can attend. It was a big adjustment, but it works for us. We are going on vacation next week for 4 days. THis is HUGE for us. We have never left them that long! We are going to San Franscisco - for our anniversary (we live in CT). They are staying with my in-laws. Who knows, maybe soon I'll be ready for a real sitter!

By Kaye on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 09:19 am:

We did not live near family until just recently, so we did use a babysitter. WE did leave my daughter for the first time when was 2 months, we left her with a teenager, at her house, with her mom home. We used this girl, in this situation about once a month. In general, the younger the baby the older the sitter, unless you can work out a mommy plan ( my sitter was a very mature 12). Also I have always chosen a sitter that lived very close any time I had ones in diapers, they could ALWAYS call their mom. Questions to ask, are you CPR trained, have you taken the red cross babysitting class, will your mom be home, have you babysat before, do you have references, do you have siblings? I always found sitters through reccomendations, so that answers a lot of questions. I would never give a recommendation of a babysitter without well she is really good at this or that, or she is fine as long as you don't mind ever snack eaten in the house..LOL. My favorite babysitter ALWAYS ate so much and made a pretty big mess in the kitchen, she would come up with all sorts of creation snacks for the kids, if she weren't so good with the kids I couldn't of handled it! But she also always did a craft, read a book, did a play, etc, she would bring over her own bag of stuff for entertainment (she was 13 btw). Anyway good luck. There are lots of people who don't use sitters, we don't go overboard, but if your choice is to never go out or get a sitter, go for the sitter. Keeping your relationship on track is an important gift to give to your child too!

By Rayanne on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 09:25 am:

The only thing that I can think of is to make sure that they are CPR certified and that they have taken Babysitting classes through the Red Cross. I did this when I wanted to start babysitting.
If you do find someone, have them come over before you decide definately and see how they interact with your child.

By Joshuasmom on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:09 am:

Hi

Thanks for all the advice, for the moment my mom or sister in law will mind joshua if i need to go out. I am still so tired!Being a new mom, I think in another couple of months I will try to find a babysitter, using your advice

thankyou

By Trina~moderator on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 10:33 am:

I think everyone has different comfort levels concerning baby-sitters. My kids (6 & 8) have rarely been left with a sitter and then only with trusted family members or my very best friend. I don't even ask my own parents to baby-sit. I've yet to meet a teenager who I feel is mature or reponsible enough to watch my kids. Yes, I admit I'm being paranoid, but my DS has asthma and both kids have severe food allergies that are life threatening. We have to be very cautious.

By Debbie on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 05:46 pm:

We only used family and close friends to babysit until my boys were 3 and 5. We then started using a babysitter until recently when we moved. She is the daughter of friends that we have known for years. She is a very mature 13. My boys love her and she was great with them. She started babysitting for us during the summer, so in the beginning, I only had her watch the boys during the day. As she got more comfortable, we started using her at night too. I did have set rules. She did not take them out of the house. She was not to talk on the phone or have friends over. I liked the fact that her parents had her take a babysitting class and child CPR before she started babysitting. My boys loved her so much, that they started asking us every week to go out. Ohhhhhh, I really miss her. Now that we have moved, I would like to find a new sitter. Two of my neighbors have recommended a girl who lives down the street. I just haven't gotten around to calling and meeting her yet.

By Pamt on Monday, August 9, 2004 - 09:29 pm:

I used a babysitter for the first time when my boys were a couple of months old. Due to responsibilities we have sometimes with my DH's job there are some places we have to be that are not a good environment to bring children into and/or it's a place where children have to be shushed (i.e., a funeral) and I don't want to put my kids in that situation. I also think it is VERY important to have dates with your spouse and I think couples who don't make that a priority will regret it when the kids leave home and they have forgotten how to be alone together. I also think as your DS gets a little older that it's impt for kids to see mom and dad excited about getting dressed up for each other and going out together. Okay...off my soapbox for now and on to your question.

For an infant I would try to use a sitter 15 y/o or older, preferable one with younger siblings as she would be more comfortable with changing diapers, feeding a baby, etc. My DH is a youth minister so we have an endless supply of potential babysitters whom we know very well. Qualifications would be things like being comfortable with kids, knowledge of basic baby care skills, pose a few scenarios like "what would you do if...?baby had a fever, baby cried and you couldn't console him, etc." While I do think knowing CPR is a plus, I wouldn't rule out a babysitter simply b/c she didn't. I know CPR, but my DH doesn't but he was alone with the kids plenty of times. Certainly maturity comes into play. One of our faithful and favorite babysitters (17 y/o) has recently gotten involved with a bad news guy and is sneaking around behind her mother's back. We aren't using her to babysit anymore b/c we don't want excessive phone calls or sneaking around to potential occur at our house. Having parents at home that the babysitter can call is a good idea too.

When my boys were infants and toddlers I always left an extensive list of what snacks they could have and when, their bedtime routine and when to start it, how they liked to be rocked or put to bed, what to do if they misbehaved, etc. I also left a list of appropriate TV shows and or videos that they could watch, if any. I always leave several contact numbers for them, inc. poison control, and our address and phone number in case they had to call 911. My oldest has asthma and my youngest has reflux for which they both take medication, but we usually gave meds before the babysitter got there, but did review what to do in case of an asthma attack. When my boys were younger I always had them fed and bathed before the babysitter got there. Up until about 3rd grade, bedtime was 7:30 so the babysitter actually had very little awake time with them. She'd usually pretty much get them to bed and literally "sit." I never put them to bed before the babysitter got there because if they woke up I didn't want them to panic because a stranger was in the house and think that mom and dad had "disappeared."

I think having a sitter teaches kids that it's okay to trust other people besides mom and dad. My kids are like Debbie's in that sometimes that ask for a sitter and beg us to go out just because it's a change in routine and sitters are FUN, FUN, FUN! They never have to do boring stuff like pay bills or wash dished. Instead they are up for building forts, playing board games, and going to the park the whole time they are here.

All of this talk reminds me...I need to call a sitter b/c DH and I have a hot date on Friday to celebrate our anniversary