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Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2004: Taking a shower
hello my name is cam, and i am desperatly seeking some help!i am a mother of 3 grown chidren also a grandmother of 4 ages 6,4,2,and two months of them belong to my oldest daughter.my two year old grandson came back from a visit with his paternal grandmother,and announced to my daughter they , her and her boyfreind, she is 38 he is 46. well we will call him b went to take a shower and k&b decided to put the 2 year old in the shower with her boyfreind! need less to say we are all furious with their actions my grandson is not ever seen a grown man naked let alone his own mother! i would very much like some feed back from everyone on this subect please.
now my grandson refuses his bath screaming and yelling no mama! we are going to call cps in the am. but thereis so much more to this story this is only one thing that has happen while he has been in her care,this child loved his baths!!!! no more.
I personally wouldn't see anything wrong with a 2 year old taking a bath with his/her Grandmother. However, I would be furious if he took a shower with her and her boyfriend. I would think most men would feel very strange about having a kid in the shower with them. I would also not want my child to know that "grandma and her boyfriend" are taking showers together....Well Goodness this is wrong on a lot of different levels. I think you have a right to be upset.
You posted the second part while I was typing my first reply....Wow! that is a whole different issue yes you need to call CPS and if he just came back today I think I would call his Pediatrician and ask for some advice, perhaps he would suggest you take him to the ER to check for signs of abuse?
I think that is just wrong on every level. I don't take either of my children in the shower with me, at 2 years old I just don't think it's appropriate. The will occasionally see me semi-dressed, but neither of them see Nate undressed. Just not appropriate!!! I agree with your caution and concern, especially with the child's reaction. Please keep us updated!! (((hugs)))
I can't believe my eyes that is so horrible. I can see the concern. Hope all goes well, I really don't know what to say but I will be thinking of you and hoping the situation gets better and soon!
And another thing even if my own mom and dad wanted to take a shower with my girls I would think that something were wrong with them. I have taken baths with my girls but if I had a boy I can guaruntee I would not do the same. They also do not see their daddy and his "manparts". sorry just had to add, after reading it again.
Well i can see why showering with her boyfriend would be bad if it made him uncomfortable....was he with the both of them in the shower or just the boyfriend? At 2 if he isn't that close with the boyfriend that could alot of damage especially if had never taken a shower with a man. And if they were BOTH in the shower...well thats just icky!
Did the boy friend and the wife take the shower together or the boyfriend and the grandmother?
Cam just emailed me. It was the grandmother and the grandmothers boyfriend.
hello moms, i am sorry to confuse all of you .It was the paternal grandmothers boyfreind in the shower, she k tried to put my grandson in the shower with him.this has just sent my poor granbabie in to a tail spin,we have my daughter and i live together i help with the raising and supporting of my grandbabies.we have been fighting all of this in the courts because of the inviorment this family lives in for two years.there is voilence, not just between the p.grandmother and boyfreind , but between her son... my grandsons father and his girlfreind, drugs, drinking etc,they are not happy unless they are making our lives miserable,the father called here and p. grandmother threating my daughters life , mine and the children.the courts are not listening to my daughter or myself.my daughter has been held in contemtp 4 times due to the fact she ddoes not want her son there.the p. grandmother writes the judge on a dailey bases and makes up stuff to try and get my daughter thrown in jail . the father could care less!i live in the state of indiana there are no grandparent rights here.what this really boils down to is the p.grandmother is very jealous of my realasonship with my grandchildren.i am sorry moms i went and read all of your messages and i did not mean to dampen this web site with all of this. we are just at our whits end the stress is horriable!i really needed some outside input on this.thanks to all the moms who expressed how they felt! it means so much.thanks again grammie
Sounds like the grandmother tried to put the grandson in the grandmothers boyfriends shower. Looks like grandson objected.
we have reported everything , my daughter has been to court numerous times, we have had to lawyers that have taken the money and ran. we have vido tapes of the visits tape recordings of the cusssing threats etc . but so far they have not aloud us to use them, this family is very strange they lie so much they truley belive in what they are saying and they have the judge fooled!my daughters rights as a mother are not being herd she is the sole custodial parent he gets visits period.a three hour visit at that!i thought the courts were here to protect my daughter from the verbal abuse and my grandson health saftey and well being? putting him in a drug invested home with volinece and god only knows what else? is this in the best interest of my grandson?
I would request that the visits be supervised by a friend of the court. Keep reporting what happens to the Department of Family Services. If she is battered, go to a shelter they should put you in contact with lawyers that will help free of charge. Also request that your Grandson has a lawyer of his own, it should be appointed by the court & cost you nothing. They will decide what is best for him & make suggestions to the judge. Good luck
It sounds like there are lots of issues going on, besides the showing incident.
OK...never mind about my question. I just reread your post and saw that your grandson explained it to you.
oh no it was not my granson, the boyfreind told my daughter when he drop the baby off. then my dqaughter called the paternal grandmother and got the whole thing on tape.the judge on this case better stand up and take notice, because we have been fighting this for 2 years to have the child protected and is not listening maybe with cps stepping in something will happen. i pray to god it will
I see nothing wrong with kids taking showers with parents my son showers with his dad all of the time. Nightly almost. I probably won't ever shower with Jade only because I am nto comfortable with it. And that is my only alone time ever!!!
I take bathes with my DD all the time (well, most of the time). DH has maybe once or twice but he doesn't anymore because it just seems wrong once they hit a certain age. I think its definitely wrong for anyone besides same sex parents to take bathes/showers with the kids and even that should end as they get older and start understanding body parts and such.
Just for information, I don't think you can use a "recording" in court unless the opposite party knows that the conversation is being taped. Maybe it's different in these circumstances....but be sure to check into it first. I think I read somewhere that it isn't legal to record conversations without both parties involved being aware of it.
It differs from state to state and on the type of "crime" committed on whether it can be submitted or not. But generally in this type of case if the person is not aware they are being recorded it can not be submitted in front of the judge. Although, CPS might listen to it, as grounds for an investigation. I think in cases like this it is often better if the children are represented by a guardian at litem, which is an outside party that looks at the best interest of the child. Family members can get to personally involved and the guardian doesn't have family ties or personal interest and are there just for the best interest of the child. If there are major concerns contacting CPS is the best place to start with getting help. They will ask for a home and personal evaluation of the people involved and they will present their findings to the judge.
well dear mom's here are the results of all of this.we spoke to cps in the county we live in, they took the report but since it happen in a different county they then took it over. my daughter called to ask questions, this is what she got we are not going to invesagate this there is nothing wrong with it!!!!!!!!!!!we have now wrote 3 majoir news papers and have gotten in touch with two news channels, waiting to hear back, it is so strange you cannot put soap in your childs mouth for curssing biting spitting because that is abuse and you can go to jail.but a grandparent can let her boyfriend take a shower with a two year old child and no one see the trama it has cause and nothing wrong with it????? makes no sense to me.
Cam, I just want you to know that I understand how insane the court system can be. I have had a horrible time in my own divorce, and it seems no one in the courts cares what my children and I go through. Tell your DD to keep her chin up and keep at the lawyers. (((Cam)))
Oh and about the recording, in TX, as long as one party (the party who was recording) consents it is admissable.
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