My ds is 8months. He seems quite content and happy to play when dh or other ds's are around and I am not in the room. When I walk into the room ds starts to cry the minute he sees me! I feel like I have to hide away from him to get any peace and quiet. I can't remember when this all began but it must have been awhile ago. Any ideas why? I know this will pass but I'm wondering if there is something I can do to help the situation. When he does cry I usually (mabey always) go to him and pick him up, but what else am I supposed to do! Ugh!!

By Rayanne on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 10:04 pm:

I have the same problem. I'm am looking forward to seeing some suggestions. (((((HUGS)))))

By Tink on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 10:50 pm:

Although it is an irritating stage, you ds is still too young to really spoil. I think you should try to pay attention to him without picking him up. Lay on the floor next to him with a book, grab a toy to share, etc. so that he starts to realize that he doesn't need to be held to be happy with you around. He will outgrow this and it usually led right into stranger anxiety for my dks. Try to get some time to yourself each day but this is normal.

By Amecmom on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 09:56 am:

Like anyone, babies get used to patterns of behavior. We can't change our patterns overnight and neither can they. You have to establish a new pattern slowly. Put the baby down and do some other task within his vision, when others are not amusing him. Go out of his line of sight for a minute at a time, then slowly lengthen the time. When he starts to cry assure him that you are nearby, but use your voice only.
Eventually he'll learn that out of sight is not out of existence (which is what most babies think at this stage).
When he is playing with someone else, walk through the room, but don't stop. Even if he cries. He'll soon be distracted again.
These are things that worked with my son, I wish you luck.
Even if it doesn't work, take comfort in knowing it's just a stage and he'll outgrow it.
Ame

By Vicki on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 10:00 am:

While I agree that at 8 months old they may still be too young to spoil, I do also believe that babies learn habits VERY quick!! He can put together really quick the cry and response routine!! I think the suggestion to not pick him up but talk to him or lay next to him is excellent! If you leave the room with out picking him up, does he settle back down or not? Maybe leave the room and have dh or the other kids try distracting him. Good luck!!

By Amyk on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 11:01 am:

My son does the same thing - happy with DH until I show up. My theory is that if he is tired or hungry or cranky - I show up and remind him of food (nursing), sleep, etc. and then he gets upset. When he is busy playing with DH - it is not on his mind.

My 2 cents.

Amy

By Momaroze on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

Thanks all.

I thought about that feeding connection thing too. Excellent advice all. You know when you are "in" the situation sometimes you can't see things as clear! Good luck Rayanne.