My oldest ds, who is 6, is so afraid to try new things. For example, he started basketball camp this week. It is for 3 hours every morning. He just loves basketball and this camp was highly recommended by all my neighbors. I knew he would love it. Ds was upset all weekend about going. He gets so aprehensive(sp?) when he is about to do anything for the first time. Dh and I explained what they would do and how the camp works. I also told him that several of the neighbor kids and kids from his class would be there. He was just "off" all weekend. Then, we get there yesterday and he sees several boys he knows. He didn't even say goodbye to me after we registered him. He just took off and joined right in. He loved it!!!!

So, any advice on how to make it easier for him to try new things?? He is like this with anything new. Dh and I try and prepare him the best we can, but I still feel he is missing out on stuff because he is afraid to try things.

By Amyj on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 09:48 am:

Debbie, my 6 year old son is the same way. I have found several things that help, but with each new thing we still have that "off" problem the day before and the morning of. We have gone to the library and found books on some of the activities(soccer, tennis, Cub Scouts...), I have found friends with children who have done the same things and had them talk to ds (this really helped with kindergarten last year and soccer), we have gone and watched activities (soccer games before joining),and probably what has worked best is just doing a lot of things. The more we do the more he becomes excepting of the new. He is learning to trust me and his ability to do something he hasn't done before. He did a week long, 3 hrs each morning soccer camp this summer. I was so pleased with his confidence in himself when it was over. I accept that he may always feel a litttle "off" before something new. Many of us feel nervous or anxious when we don't know what to expect, I know I do. I am trying to teach him that that is okay, it's how we handle that feeling that we are working on. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job preparing him. I think the positive experience will make next time easier.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, July 20, 2004 - 07:23 pm:

Hey, he's only 6. New, different, is strange and automatically scary. I think you are handling it fine, working at reassuring him, picking things he is likely to enjoy, and being with him. Each time a new thing is successful you will be able to remind him of that when the next new thing comes along.

I also think Amy has a very good idea in trying to find someone he knows who is either already doing it or will be joining when he does that he can talk to in advance.

Now, when he gets into adolescence and his teens and wants to try the new, strange, different and scary - you will be trying to slow him down. BTDT at both ends.

Oh the joys of parenting.

By Melanie on Saturday, July 24, 2004 - 02:23 am:

My first thought was exactly what Amy and Ginny said-with each success his confidence will build. He was nervous about basketball. When it came down to it he was glad he did it. Last year our 6 year old ds was interested in roller hockey. I brought him to the first practice and he didn't want to do it. No problem. I brought him down for the second practice. He tentatively went out on the floor. And fell in love with it. He's been doing it ever since. Each success will bring about more confidence. I think you are handling it just fine.

By Kym on Monday, July 26, 2004 - 07:07 pm:

My dd is very similar, she gets very excited about something only to get very nervous and love it in the end. This has taught us to not "over explain" things, kids dont' really need to know each detail from OUR perspective, so maybe take a lighter approach and only tell him a short while in advance. I see a lot of parents trying to prepare kids for what to expect etc, and we use language and examples from our experience, I have found that its better to tell them, hey we signed you up for basketball camp isn't that great, than only answer their questions!