Hi all. Wondering if any of you can offer advice on this. I feel funny asking this, but I'm not sure what to do. It has to do with my oldest daughter who's about to turn 9 and she's been asking about wearing pantyhose. Personally, I think it's too young even though she is mature for her age. When I was a girl, mom didn't allow me in nylons until I was 12. Emily's telling me her little friends get to wear hose and why shouldn't she be allowed to? I do like her and my 2 youngest to wear dresses but don't know if I'm ready for her in hose. She sees mommy most days in her nylons for work which I'm sure fuels her interest too. What do you think? Am I old fashioned here? How old have your girls been when you let them wear pantyhose? Thanks for any input you can give. Sharon

By Tink on Thursday, July 15, 2004 - 11:50 pm:

I wore my first pair of nylons at 10 and that was 17 years ago. I would probably let my daughter if it was an occassional treat. If she was going to make a regular habit of it, I would probably give her a certain number of pairs per month and when those were ruined, it would have to come out of her allowance or she could do without. JMO

By Kate on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 12:06 am:

I think I had to be 14. But oh how I still remember longing to wear them!!! They looked so much more grown up than tights. Can you get away with her wearing nothing on her legs? That's the current trend anyway, bare legs, even for dressy occasions.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 01:31 am:

I think with somethings you have to stand firm... Meaning if you give on things that you see are important than she will try to take things further. Next will be make up and hair spray. LOL You make your choice. It is your battle and you will have to live with it.

And I didn't wear hose until I was in the 7th grade. Got a pair for a concert we where doing. I thought I was so big and it was well worth the wait. Now I hate them and only wear them when I have to..

By Dawnk777 on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 08:25 am:

My kids got to wear pantyhose in 6th grade when they had to get dressed up for their winter concerts. They would have both been 11. No one asked for pantyhose at 9, so it wasn't an issue.

Now, my kids are almost 15 and 12 and no one has asked about makeup. LAst year, Sarah wore some to the homecoming dance, but she doesn't wear it on a daily basis.

By Babysitbarb on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 09:30 am:

I think my girls probably wore hose like that age. It was probably because I wore them and they thought it was fun. I personally hate them.It was hard to find them small enough to fit.
I didn't think it was a big deal and they wore them with their dresses when we dressed up to go some were. They wouldn't be caught dead with them now at 15 and 12.
Dawn, I feel lucky in the makeup area also so far. My oldest started wearing powder foundation probably like a year ago when she got some for her birthday but, that's it. I see some of these teenagers who look like a makeup counter and I wonder what they are thinking.

By Rayanne on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 10:08 am:

I honestly don't see a problem with letting her wear them. I personallly hate them because my mom always made me wear them when I was little. I think that I was in 2nd grade when I wore my first pair. It was for my First Communion.

By Kaye on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 10:16 am:

My 10 year old daughter has worn them for a while. I never thought about it being grown up. She wore tights most of the time, then cute little socks until she was 6 or 7. She mostly goes bare legged, but if it is a dressy dress that the shoes don't look right with out them, she wears hose. Honestly my daughter has boobs and those cute socks just don't look right..LOL. There are also comfort issues in wearing shoes barefoot.

By Emily7 on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 10:32 am:

I don't see a problem with the hose. We were allowed to wear them at that age.

By Luvn29 on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 11:11 am:

To me, wearing hose at the age doesn't seem like a big deal. I already know I'm going to be dealing with much bigger issues with my dd. She turns 8 on sunday, and thinks she is soooo grown up. We go round and round about some things. She doesn't understand why I won't let her do some things. She's 7 going on 17. UGH!!!

So the hose thing, I could definitely deal with. hehe! But I would definitely follow the above advice and limit how many pairs I would buy for her in an allotted time or you could go broke!!!

By Bellajoe on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 11:46 am:

I don't know what the problem with wearing hose is.

I don't remember when i first wore hose, it wasn't that big of a deal to my mom or me i guess.

I hate to wear hose and only put them on if t I am wearing a dress that doesnt look right with out hose.

By Eve on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 12:09 pm:

I don't remember pantyhose being an issue in my house. I think when I was in Jr. High and had to dress up for Chorus concerts and such, I just got them or my Mom bought them. It wouldn't bother me if my DD wanted to wear hose at a young age. I would be more concerned with the length of the skirt or if she wanted fish nets or something.

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 01:31 pm:

I'm kind of shocked at this. I never thought twice about hose, I've worn them since I was little. I guess my mom and grandmother didn't so much worry about the hose, as the length of the skirt. And I wore them in the winter to keep from getting a chill. I'm with Eve and Patti on this one... just never seemed like an issue with my family!

By Kay on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 03:00 pm:

It's never really been an issue for us, either. I started putting them in the opaque hose when they were babies. As my older dd grew up in the late 80's , colored hose were a big thing. I think she first wore flesh colored hose at about 5th grade. I believe I did, too, but back then (late 60's) we thought it was cool because we got to wear garter belts. (Oh, gee I feel old!)

Neither one of my dd's now would be caught dead wearing pantyhose, even with nice dresses. The styles have really changed over the decades, as have the 'rules'.

By Kay on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 03:01 pm:

One thing I forgot to add is that this is definitely one of those times to sit back and consider choosing your battles. At least she's not asking for a belly button ring.

By Bellajoe on Friday, July 16, 2004 - 08:44 pm:

I totally agree Kay!! "Choose your battles" is my motto!!

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, July 17, 2004 - 11:11 am:

Ditto *choose your battles*. I personally don't think wearing hose is that big a deal, and the novelty will probably wear off soon anyway. She might actually end up hating them - I certainly did! LOL

By Ginny~moderator on Sunday, July 18, 2004 - 07:48 am:

I'm betwixt and between Bobbie and and those who have no problem with it. I agree with Kay, definitely, choose your battles. But, if you have really strong gut feelings about it, then this may be a battle you have to choose.

Think long and hard about it and try to figure out why you don't want her to wear pantyhose. Is it because it is a sign that she is growing up? If so, you will have to live with her growing up and might as well start now. Is it because she thinks it will make her look sexy? That's a battle that may be worth fighting. Is it because "all the girls" wear them - if so, who are the girls who are wearing them and are these girls you want her to imitate and try to get in with?

However, even in the battles you choose, try to have a fallback, compromise position you can be argued into by your child, one that you can feel comfortable with.

Certainly limiting the number of pantihose you buy is one fallback position - they are expensive. (I get mine from the Hanes catalog, which is usually much cheaper, and only got two bad pair out of well over 250 pair purchased, and they honored their warranty on those two and paid the postage.)

Another fallback is limiting the times and places she wears them. For example, not school, but church, special events. You know where she wants to wear them so you can figure this out in advance.

By Marcia on Sunday, July 18, 2004 - 03:39 pm:

I don't see what the issue is, either.

By Annie2 on Monday, July 19, 2004 - 10:42 pm:

Let her wear the uncomfortable "hose".

My girls wear pink tights, stripes tights, colored tyed-dyed tights, etc.
If they want to wear natural colored "hose" I would say "WHY?" Your legs are naturally colored tan. LOL

Let this one go. Maybe buy her a smaller size so she feels uncomfortable in them. ;)

By Workingmom39 on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 09:46 pm:

Thank you for all the advice and viewpoints. I am processing all of this now. I hadn't really thought of the "choose my battles" angle but those who voiced that are right. I have to say that yes this is a big deal--to Emily, to me and I also know whatever I decide with her my other younger girls are going to hold me to. I just personally feel uncomfortable with the idea of a 9 year old in pantyhose. The idea raised by Ginny and Tink of limiting when and where she wears them seems reasonable. She just wants to feel grown up and like I said she emulates me and sees me in nylons. Of course I need to find where I can get hose to fit a girl her age first!!

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 11:09 pm:

Try OneHanesPlace http://www.onehanesplace.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce/ExecMacro/Storefront.d2w/report

I have been buying pantyhose and knee highs from the Hanes catalog for years, and always found them inexpensive, reliable, and backing up their warranty.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, July 22, 2004 - 11:13 pm:

P.S. The idea was Tink's, I just seconded (or thirded, I can't remember). But I repeat - if it is a gut issue for you, then in the end, go with your gut. I did that on earrings for my boys, and simply told them it is a gut issue, no matter how logical and sensible their arguments were.

Still, if you can find a compromise, I recommend it. My experience is that your children are more likely to try to find compromises you can live with if you demonstrate that you are open to thinking about compromise. Maybe start with church, important family/holiday occasions. And if she finds that pantyhose are uncomfortable and just not worth it - for heaven's sake don't gloat until you close your bedroom door!

By Mommyathome on Monday, July 26, 2004 - 05:34 pm:

I won't let my DD's wear pantyhose at the age of nine. I will hold out until age 12.

By Workingmom39 on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 10:14 pm:

I'm curious about that. Are they asking yet? How would you handle it if they did? I've got a lot of good advice here but you are the first one who seems to feel like I that 9 is too young. All this talk of choosing your battles has really got me thinking (as well as the compromise advice too).

By Workingmom39 on Tuesday, July 27, 2004 - 10:35 pm:

I'm curious about that. Are they asking yet? How would you handle it if they did? I've got a lot of good advice here but you are the first one who seems to feel like I that 9 is too young. All this talk of choosing your battles has really got me thinking (as well as the compromise advice too).

By Mommyathome on Wednesday, July 28, 2004 - 10:49 am:

My oldest is only 6. She has asked one time. She was fine with my response that she is too young. But, I'm sure that when she is older (probably 9 or 10!) that she won't be so fine with that same response.
I'll come back here and ask you how you handled it! LOL
If it becomes a problem, it will just become a rule. "No Pantyhose Until You Are 12". Just like some moms don't let their kids get ears pierced, or hair highlighted......and some don't get to wear pantyhose until a certain age.
I just think that 9 is a littly young for pantyhose. It's kind of a "woman thing" IMO.
I guess I didn't really answer your question. Since I haven't BTDT yet, it's kind of hard to know how it will go! But, I am stuck on the idea that 9 is just too young.

By Irene on Thursday, July 29, 2004 - 04:38 pm:

I think it's good for every parent to draw some lines, even if they're not limiting an obviously bad thing...just more of a personal preference. I know some parents who say No pierced ears until 'X' age, No spikey hair (on boys), and things like that, and it actually seems like the kids kind of like it when their parents make rules like that. I hear kids say stuff like, "My dad won't let me (whatever)" and they almost seem proud of it. I know that sounds weird. Anyway, my point is a)I kind of agree that while pantyhose won't hurt anyone, I see them as too grown up for an almost 9 year old, and b)you should go ahead and set some of these limits that you feel comfortable with, because in the long run, it's a good thing. You don't want to go berserk, but a few rules like this are good. She won't need therapy later over this, not being able to wear pantyhose. There's PLENTY of time for all of those grown up things.