I have 2yr old twin girls and a 4 yr old boy. One
of the twins has a very bad temper and bites the
other children when she bascially doen't get her
way. I know this is probably a phase however, it
seems so unfair that the other kids have to suffer
due to her imaturity. I have received some adivise
from friends: let the kids defend themselves and
have them bite her back, then she won't bite again (sounds like I would have havic in about 2 days) I know that is not the answer, however I am
looking for some advise as to how her brother and
sister can cope with this crulty.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 12:19 pm:

Seems like you have a bit of a problem here but I wouldn't use the word immature since she IS only 2 years old. Shes probably just seeing how far she can get with it. I have no experience with this since my DD is only 14 months old but I think I would do time out in the room. (((HUGS))) I hope you figure something out, maybe someone more experienced can give you better advice.

By Kittycat_26 on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 12:54 pm:

My Timmy was and still can be a biter. The poor kids he was in daycare with got bit an awful lot. At two, I dont' know if she would connect being bitten with her biting. I never thought so, so I never went that approach. Prevention and time out worked for me and for daycare. Anytime Timmy so much as opened his mouth and moved toward another child or me, he was reminded "no bite." If he did bite, then he had to sit beside an adult for a minute or two. Usually he cried and this upset him terribly.

Time will help this some. My belief is that as they learn to talk and express themselves that it will get better. Some days are better than others for us and Timmy just turned 2 last month.

Hang in there.

By Amecmom on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

My son attempted this a few times with me, when he was around 18 months old. Every time he tried, I said, "No biting, biting hurts.", and put him in a play yard or a place by himself. I ignored him for a few minutes and then let him out.

I found he tried biting when he was tired, frustrated, or looking for attention, so I was on the look out for it before he could bite. I constantly reinforced that only food was for biting - this was helpful when he was going through the teething/mouthing stage, also.

He stopped after a week or two of a combination of consistent reinforcement, redirection, and ignoring/isolation.

I'm sorry she's trying to assert herself this way with your other children. Just keep saying, "I know you want - but biting is not the way to get it" Then show her how to get what she wants in a more acceptable way.
She's young yet, but it's never too early to try.

Ame

By Emily7 on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 05:59 pm:

Give her something that she can bite when she tries to bite them.

By Lauram on Thursday, July 8, 2004 - 09:47 pm:

Don't know, but my son bites me! And he's been bitten at daycare many times. He's only bitten back once though. My son's bites are more "love bites." That's what I call them at least. He bites me when he gets overexcited or overemotional. I have NO idea what to do about it either- except tell him "No" which he really doesn't seem to understand. This has been going on for several months....

By Kittycat_26 on Friday, July 9, 2004 - 08:39 am:

You could also try really making a fuss if it is you that you daughter is biting. Timmy used to get me in some of the oddest places like my stomach and the inside of my thighs. Of course it did hurt and I did yell "ouch". I found that this stopped him cold. So I did this all the time.

By Babysitbarb on Friday, July 9, 2004 - 10:14 am:

Both my DD's only bit a couple times and it was me they bit and it was on the shoulder each time. Usually it was because I was holding them and they wanted down and it was because they needed to be held at the time. Anyways, natural instint for me was to lightly smack them on the mouth and make them realize that was a no no. They never did it again.
With being in the daycare business, I have had to deal with this often. Usually with these kids we did time outs and I would just tell them that's not nice or that's a no no or something on the idea of that. I have had parents in the past tell me to smack their mouths which I don't like to do to other peoples kids. I had one boy that even this didn't help. I talked to my doctor about it one time and have gotten lots of info off the computer and they say it is lots of kids way of communicating when they can't talk. Different things work for different kids.

By Bellajoe on Friday, July 9, 2004 - 04:23 pm:

When my Joey was biting I would put him in the pack n' play which was in our living room. It was his time-out spot. Everytime he would bite or was about to bite his sister, or anyone, i would pick him up, tap his mouth gently but firmly and say "NO BITE!" firmly. Then i set him in the pack n' play. He eventually learned that he was not allowed to bite anyone.