My poor baby 
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004:
My poor baby
Boy this starting preschool/daycare has been rough for Brendan. Last Wednesday was his first day, Chuck and I both took him. He cried but not for to long, he was SO happy to see me when I picked him up. Friday he still cried and had a death grip around my neck and wouldn't join in the water fun they had for the kids.
Yesterday was just horrible, I left crying... He literally screamed and I had to pry him off of my me. When I picked him up he cried with joy and kept telling me he wanted to go home in Mommy's car. I had to take him and Chuck home and then go to school so yesterday I hardly saw him at all. He must have felt it too because when I got home from school he woke up saying "mommy snuggle" we snuggled in my bed for about an hour then he went back to bed.
This morning we are at home and he's been very clingy and didn't even want to leave the house to go play outside or go visit a friend. His teacher said he won't eat, really doesn't play with the other kids and just sits on a wooden bench with his blankie looking out the window. THAT just breaks my heart...
Any ideas on how to make this easier for all of us OR how long this lasts? He's only three but he's been with me, my mom, or Chuck literally every day of his life so I know this is a HUGE adjustment, I just wish it weren't so hard.
Does he go everyday all day long? Or just a couple of days a week?
It breaks my heart just reading your post about the poor kid. Sorry...
If he is going full time is there a way to just send him part time for awhile until he is adjusted to his new school and then work him in full time?
My little guy went Tue/Thurs for part of last yr while he was 3 and I pulled him out because he was just so insistant that he stay with me. I wasnt working and going to school, so it was an option for us. I just feel so sad for your little guy and you, because I know exactly how you feel.
You may have to just wait it out and be strong and confident when you take him in to drop off.
Tell him he is such a big boy now and he can do this! After awhile he will make a friend and start to play, etc... IS it better when dh drops him off? Maybe dh needs to take him to school? That would be another suggestion. My ds teacher knew ds was clingy and we would make the drop off as quick as possible somedays. Then on other days I would just stay for a bit and then sneak out of the room when ds got interested in class. He never even looked for me the teacher said.
My ds always gets a piece of gum or candy from me when he goes to sunday school like a big boy (meaning go into your class and dont cling to mommy) it works very well for him. After months of this he has finally asked me to STOP walking him to class. lol (that was hard for mommy to hear )
I doubt I helped much--mostly just wanted you to know I am sorry you are having to go thru this. Hope it all gets better soon!
Christy, I know exactly what you are going through. We started ds(now 3)in preschool/daycare last November. The first day he like it but it seems the more and more he went, he could not wait to leave the place. Some days he will cry when I drop him off too. Dh picks him up and he is SO happy to leave! Anyway, he hasn't been there in 2 weeks b/c we've had car problems and tomorrow he has to go back. I know he's going to be so upset. He only goes 2 days a week (Wed, Fri). I've left crying before too! I guess it does get a *little* easier, b/c he did stop crying as much, but it's still hard on me. Sometimes it makes me wonder if he hates it there. But, I heard that if you pull them out, that may be more damaging than leaving them in. Good luck! I need some luck too with tomorrow. 
Don't drag out the goodbyes, don't dwell on how much you will miss him too, focus on all the fun he will have. Get him a watch so he can know when you will pick him up. Give him a picture of you to keep in his cubby or pocket.
Transitions are hard, but both will survive this!
Conni -- he goes M-W-F all day... I will start externship in about a month so I started him early to get him used to it. All this has me doubting EVERYTHING at this point. I think this every other day has made things a little worse but don't haev the option to change it. Thanks for sympathizing with me, hopefully things will get easier for all of us.
My kids went every other day till they started PreK. It will work out.
Don't doubt yourself!! Go for it. Get your schooling over with while he is young and enjoy having a career that you like. He will be in Kindergarten full time before you know it. He will be fine!
The other reason I pulled my ds out of the 2 day prog he was in --it cost $130 a month and I felt guilty he was going, when I didnt work or go to school. lol Dh was glad to stop paying for it. He still goes to classes every week tho at other places and is doing much better about being dropped off. So it will get easier for your ds!
I will be going back to school this Fall part time and my ds (4) is going to have to attend preschool again part time.
ditto w/texannie!!
The more you pay attention to it, the more he'll do it. Not that you should be cold & hard & not pay attention to his feelings, but do not let him know that you feel bad. Dwell on the good things "oh, you're going to have so much FUN!!!" or "which book did you read? What was it about?" anything positive about the school. If you're like "Oh honey, I'm so sorry, mommie has to go to work", etc... he'll keep on, cause he knows you're gonna give in & not make him go anymore! Just make sure you tell him you love him & when you'll be back. Also, when you pick him up, tell him what you did while he was there. That has helped me get my ids to talk about their day or evening, if we're apart & I tell then what I have been doing & they tell me what they've been doing.
My son HATED daycare for a while, but he did adjust, I wouldn't worry too much (I know that's hard to do)!
What are the teachers doing when your son is crying and you are trying to leave? Are they helping or just "watching the show?" Get a teacher to play with you and your son for a few minutes and then just kiss him on the head and walk away. Dont' turn back and don't doubt yourself.
Timmy has been going to daycare for almost two years now and every once in a while we have these weeks which seem like months. I drag him kicking and screaming into the room and he is still screaming when I'm leaving. The teachers help by taking him from my arms to their arms when we have days like this. It happens and I think every parent has been there at one time or another.
Focus on the excitement of preschool!
1. Get to play with friends.
2. Get a snack.
3. Get to go to school.
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